1. Smapdi

    “No, I’m not the mayor of Toronto, but thanks so much for asking.”

  2. “I need an adult!!”

  3. Season 2 of True Detective looks terrible.

  4. “Fuck you, bro’! I worked with Leonardo DiCaprio.”

  5. “Why no, I haven’t taken off this suit in 2 months. Leo touched it.”

  6. “Did you get a lot of reaction to that Super Bowl commercial?”
    “What Super Bowl commercial?”

  7. “…yeah, that’s right. I’m calling you a big, black, motherfucker. Mother. Fucker. You wouldn’t dare start any shit with me and Leo. Right, Leo… Leo?”

  8. “Mr. Leo said I could walk to the 7-11 all by myself! But I seen Mr. Moon two times since then.”

  9. “Jonah, stop asking me for my phone so you can call Leo, he blocked you and told me if I give you my phone to call him, he will block me too”

  10. “I told you, Mr DiCaprio doesn’t want you hanging around!”
    “Are you sure he wasn’t talking to you? ’cause me and Leo are pals!”

  11. MZ MIZRY

    really? its you leo?
    you what? you astro-projected your consciousness into his body?
    wow! really? thats so cool!

  12. ThisWillHurt

    “Dude, congrats on getting cast as the Human Torch!”
    “As soon as I find your neck, I’m going to snap it.”

  13. buzz

    Black Guy: “I don’t give a fuck who you know. Call me ‘my n***a’ just one more fuckin’ time.”

  14. “I know Leonardo.”

    “Two ninja turtles know each other? I’m shocked.”

  15. “For the last fucking time, I am not Mos Def and I will NOT be your new friend!”

  16. “I heard to blew DiCaprio!”

    “Well, yes. Yes I did.”

  17. ‘Well look at you, my lovely new big, black, bald Leo.’

  18. icu

    No seriously dude, like, Leo talks to me and shit? I call him Leo, but that’s Mr. DiCaprio to you, keep that in mind. Like I was saying…Leo talks to me and we did, like a movie together? I even walked the red carpet with him? Hey did I tell you….sometimes when I get hungry? I drink a beer? Cause it has bread in it!

  19. “No you creepy fat white dude, I won’t sneak you into Mr. DiCaprio’s closet” – Leo’s bodyguard.

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