superficial

  1. Slappy Magoo

    Is…is he trying to call Michael Bluth a chicken?

  2. Tobey, NO! Mexicans HATE the chicken dance!

  3. Ponch!! Can I ride on the back of your bike and stick shift your penis?

  4. How many different liquids does one guy need to carry?

  5. evilstamos

    Derputy Maguire, reporting for derpty!

  6. Open container? No, this is an artesian spring water infused with eau du leboeuf.

  7. The Pope

    The only way this would be any more gay is if he were at a Lakers game.

  8. “If you need any help catching bad guys, just say the word.
    I used to be Spiderman, you know.”

    “Yeah, you’ve said that several times already.
    Can’t you see I’m busy with Flappy Bird here?”

  9. Your Huckleberry

    Hey! Hey! Dis how chicken do it!

  10. Maguire Know How Chicken Look

    “THIS how chicken look.”

  11. How did a guy with the physical coordination of Michael J Fox on crack ever get to play spider-man?

    • I feel as though we’ll look back on the Raimi Spider-Man trilogy as many do with ‘American Beauty’ or ‘Crash’. A “Why the fuck did we think this shit was good?” type feeling.

      Except SM3, which everyone understood to be utter garbage straight away.

      • Dox

        What, you didn’t like… Spider Man Meets the Mask, and fights the father of all emo’s, while managing to make romance with a large breasted woman boring.

  12. Dox

    “Your due back in court for your prostitution charges in a week, Mr. Maguire.”

  13. “Not gonna give me a ticket?…BWAKAK!

  14. thecrazybetty

    dis how chicken look. bok.

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