1. Slappy Magoo

    …and that’s how I chewed through the ropes and got out of Oprah’s sex-’n-waffles dungeon.

  2. Screw Chiwetel Ejiolfor. This dude needs his oscar for his own 28 years a slave…

  3. “And then she took my balls, and ripped them like this!”

  4. MarketingMike

    He’s so used to Oprah’s handcuffs, he’s unintentionally
    offering his wrists to the interviewer. How sad…

  5. The best beard in history.

  6. buzz

    Stedman: “Oprah’s balls are HUGE. Bigger than that guy from Man Men.”

  7. “I’m begging you. Look in my eyes. I am begging you–human to human– please kill me? Please? Shoot me, stab me, strangle me, drown me, set me on fire, hit me with your car, beat me to death with a bat or a crowbar or a stick or a fucking piece of licorice, I don’t fucking care! Please just kill me!”

  8. “I tried having clumsy drunken sex with Oprah once and she grabbed my penis and broke it with her knee!”

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