1. “‘Jackoff’? ‘Jagoff’? Either way, yes I’d say that accurately describes my son Charlie.”

  2. Mohawk Disco

    Somebody suddenly yelled: Charlie’s here!

  3. “My sheik would like to meet your son. His ability to have sexual relations with so many prostitutes and do enormous amount of drugs is of interest to him.”

  4. Flatliner

    I take it that Maria Menounos just walked by

  5. The shock of being Charlie’s dad finally hit him.

  6. JimBB

    She was handing me a microphone that I didn’t want. Brought it right up to me on the red carpet like valet service. And after I took it…I would never want another.

  7. Codot

    Dear Jeshush, what a shweet shet of titsh.

  8. ‘…excuse me, I must urinate. With extreme prejudice.’

  9. STD_Analysis

    Tiger blood is Islam-approved.

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