superficial

  1. dude

    “Look what some crazy white person left in the ocean! A blender!”

  2. FantASStic Voyage II: J-Lo Break!

  3. I take back any negative stereotype I’ve ever had about black guys and water

  4. pipedreamer

    Worst Sleep Apnea remedy ever.

  5. “…*gasp* *gasp*…Al Campanis…*gasp* *gasp*…was right…”

  6. EricLR

    Look, either learn to swim or stay out of the water.

  7. Phoenix

    Sean.
    Combs.

    Enough with catering to these self-absorbed assholes.

  8. HomeMovie

    JL: Is it ready yet?
    Diddy: Just got it started and about to ride a wave in

  9. Cock Dr

    He took that thing up to his hotel suite with a couple bitches from his entourage and they haven’t been seen since.

  10. I’m a gay fish.
    I really get around I’m the slut of the sea
    When i say I’ve got crabs I mean it literally
    I was eating dinner and just had to go down on that Mackerel on the dish
    Cause I’m the gayest of the gay fish (gay fish)

  11. Joe

    Why do rich people need expensive machinery to have fun at the beach?

  12. Your move Simmons! This time I’ve got GOGGLES!!!

  13. I’m coming home. I’m coming home. Tell Aquaman I’m coming home…’

  14. tlmck

    It works better in the water nimrod.

  15. He’s working his way up to an adult-sized one.

  16. I didn’t find even ONE goddamned catfish…

  17. Vlad

    From the look on his face, he spotted Simmons doing whatever the hell he was doing on the beach all covered in sand.

  18. angerinside

    DAYAM some muthafucka got my jet ski WET and it SHRUNK.

  19. betty

    a turd washed ashore.

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