Unkempt, ill-fitting tux, awkward pose…way to put the gay in gala, Matt

That’s the look of a man praying for the sweet release of death.

Actually that’s the look of a man who’s had to steer a horse-drawn carriage for a good part of his life…

Horse breath.

I know Daniel Craig wanted out eventually, but making Bond an effeminate equine enthusiast was completely the opposite direction.

“Has anyone seen my horse?”

I thought rented tuxes only had fake pockets.

I’m grateful that this picture has been posted. Now if the Broderick-Jessica-Parker clan invite me over for the holidays, I need only buy Matthew a comb as a gift.

Notice who *wasn’t* invited to the Children of ARMENIA Fund Holiday Gala? Looks like they’re more ashamed of them than we are.

What the well-dressed jockey is wearing these days.

You’re still here? It’s over. Go home. Go.

Is that a carrot in your pocket or are you just glad to-oh, it IS a carrot. For you wife, you say? Carry on!

Reaching into his pocket to get some oats to give to SJP.

Shit, so now I have to send a check off to COAF? Will it never end? Fuck you, Buehler.

Where is his horse…I mean wife? Dude needs to come to grip with reality and get that the divorce he so craves.

Bond. Fudgepacker Bond.

There is a desperation in his soulless eyes, as if he has actually beaten a dead horse again and again

Ferris seriously needs a makeover! Anyone? Anyone?

His pocket is full of sugar cubes.

He looks like the Sausage King of Chicago.

“Children of Armenia Fund”? is this Kris Jenner’s newest scam?

Save Ferris

“Remember that time I killed two people in Ireland? No? Good. So how do you like my suit.”