1. Poor, Suri. Mama’s got her Scientology eyes. It’s gonna be another night meditating in the lava capsule.

  2. catapostrophe

    “Opposite Day! I’ll play with the puppy and you drink Mommy’s gimlet!”

  3. Johnny P!

    Suri: Oh, Mommy ALWAYS looks like that when she gets an incoming transmission from Xenu. Isn’t that right, Mommy? *sluurp!*
    Katie: Gaaaahhh!

  4. “As soon as he’s out of sight, we run like hell honey. Remember, your new name is Rebecca.”

  5. WTF? Did Suri find her Pause button?

  6. bdog821

    “No, sweetie. Even though it’s a tall as your daddy it’s not your daddy”

  7. cc

    Don’t worry honey, I’ll keep an eye on that Hasidic Jew over there.

  8. “Miss, these toys are under cooked.”

  9. “No, honey, we can’t go back to that place. Only Daddy gets to play with penises…Gummi or otherwise.”

  10. Something tells me that this cute little girl can levitate things and projectile vomit. She is beginning to look disturbed.

  11. dontkillthemessenger

    Am I the only person who can see that demon?

  12. Venom

    Just one creepy family.

  13. De Vo

    Here Suri I snuck some stuffed animals for you to play with while daddy’s gone. If you see him coming say you were just trying to get your disassemble and assemble times of the ray gun faster.

  14. Dani

    Oh my god, I’m going to die of laughter. You guys are fscking brilliant!

  15. jt

    why does suri look part asian?

  16. Jon and Kate plus Hate

    wow, old lady cruise is just about to snap, any day now, any day now……

  17. squishy

    Puppy tastes good…so long since I ate!

  18. tlmck

    On the run, they resort to using stuffed animals as currency.

  19. Nobody

    “If he’d just take his eyes off us for a moment, we could flee, start fresh…”

  20. Violet

    Ha, I knew Scientologists received information through the feet of stuffed animals.

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