superficial

  1. JC

    Xander’s face always lights up when he catches a glimpse of a random, smiling stranger in a parking lot.

  2. Little Tongue

    “Daddy?”
    “How many times will I have to repeat that you don’t have a daddy? Suck it up.”

  3. “Watch your head”
    (extends arms full force slamming head into crossbeam)

  4. “Now stay here sweetie. Mommy’s just going shopping for a couple of days. She has to go find daddy.”

  5. OR

    “Get in there you little bastard.”

  6. Gin&Tonic

    The proverbial Mom Jeans and Mom Ass. Cute kid, though

  7. Much like the cuckoo shoves the eggs from another bird’s next and replaces them with her own, the wild Jones moves from parking lot to parking lot, removing children from their carseats and attempting to replace them with her own progeny.

  8. Inner Retard

    Xander was always happy when him and January went to the mall. It was a magical place. A place where he could meet his friends. Along with warm, loving people who always smiled at him. His friends called them Mommy and Daddy, Xander later recalled.

  9. Get in the hot car with the dog, honey. Mommy has to go shopping for a couple of hours.

  10. Hugh G. Rection

    At least somebody in the family smiles.

  11. fred

    “Ugh. You smell and you are so damn heavy. And where did you get that stupid little hat? You look like a gay sailor.”

  12. Probably someone else’s car.

  13. JimBB

    “How do you put this thing into neutral again?” she asked the guy at the pier.

  14. “What the fuck are you smiling about? Get in the fucking car.”

  15. “Lady, look I don’t know you, but just take him and make sure you don’t bring him back, okay?”

  16. All I can think of is, “What a cute little bugger!” then I feel sad for him, because, well… January Jones.

    • Dox

      I feel the same way. All children should feel wanted, and loved. Should have the joy of their parents taking pleasure in their achievements. If she is as cold to that child as she seems in my mind, then she really is a Charlie Sheen level douchebag.

      • anna

        The only douchebags here are misogynists like you. There are a million photos out there of January Jones smiling and being happy with her child and even if there weren’t that still wouldn’t excuse the sexism on display here all because she doesn’t like smiling for the paparazzi.

  17. crb

    “Now if you stay down behind the seats and don’t make any noise, you’ll find your new mommy right away. Won’t that be fun Jimmy!”

  18. Is Zimmerman Writing This Crap?

    Oh my Sod. She is actually holding it, right side up!

  19. whatever

    Aww, he looks just like former supermodel Claudia Schiffers husband and kids! Little bastard.

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