superficial

  1. It’s only a fold in his pants…It’s only a fold in his pants…It’s only a fold in his pants…It’s only a fold in his pants…It’s only a fold in his pants…It’s only a fold in his pants…It’s only a fold in his pants…
    (Sobs in the corner)

    • Cock Dr

      Shhesh…it’s only a fold in his pants.

    • cc

      Actually, it is just a crease in his pants.

      Thing is, there would come a point where size would be awkward. Seriously. I remember one time back when I played raquet sports I was getting changed about 3 or 4 lockers away from this guy. (And contrary to popular belief girls, guys aren’t always slyly looking around checking to see if someone is bigger. It’s kind of like dogs…even if you don’t give a shit about dogs, you’d still notice a giant Great Dane.) In any case out of the corner of my eye I spotted this guy and his giant….appendage. It was so out of proportion, I thought it was some juvenile practical joke. It wasn’t. It was so big it would be cumbersome…I don’t know he could ever wear a bathing suit or shorts. I don’t even know how he could find comfortable pants. Anyway, the point is, at some point when the novelty wears off, you’ve got to live with the damn thing. And find a woman (not in the porn industry) that doesn’t run away screaming.

  2. Where's Dildo

    Photog: “Hey Michael! You’re Fass-bending.” *snicker snicker*
    MF: “Every day with this damn joke. Ugh! Curse you, comically large penis!” *looks around for women staring*

  3. He really should have been a pole vaulter with that thing.

  4. Chicks hate handsome guys with charming accents and large dongs. Poor guy.

  5. Inner Retard

    Why doesn’t he just put a sign around his neck saying: “Hate me!”

  6. After a certain point, extra length is just superfluous. I mean, where’s the fun if you can’t go in balls-deep?

  7. Quasi

    It’s all fun and games until she coughs and says “I taste the kitchen sink…”

  8. “I’m here to make balloon animals. Except I use my penis instead of balloons.”

  9. Apparently Michael Fassbender dresses left. Good to know in the event someone wants to surprise him with a gift of a new pair of tailor-made slacks.

  10. “All of the women.”

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