1. “Yeah, so I went up to Tori Spelling like this and yelled ‘HELLO!’ and I swear it echoed for 10 minutes.”

  2. JC

    “Wait a minute, do I smell paparazzi on your left tit?!?” *punch, punch*

  3. “Yes. That’s it. Feast upon my anger you worthless cunt.”

  4. “Who’s daddy’s rude little pig?”
    “I was talking to your left breast.”
    “Oh. Ok, then.”

  5. “Ever since you got here Hilaria won’t let me suck on her tits anymore. You have no consideration for your father you rude, thoughtless little pig!”

  6. Inner Retard

    I could venture a few disturbing guesses what they’re doing. But the part of my brain that doesn’t want to know is keep pistol whipping the part that wants to come up with ideas.

  7. “Just one more hit of this new born’s soul and I’m good till lunch…”

  8. Cock Dr

    That’s kind of sweet. Nice to see Mr Baldwin in some other mode than rage monster.

  9. Ugh…that is just gross. Look, I get that it’s natural, and Alec gets grouchy when he’s not fed, but put a blanket over it or something.

  10. “You are right dear. This is a lot easier than trying to suck on my own.”

  11. beet

    is everyone just going to keep ignoring his old man shoes?

  12. Icehawg

    “Oh…that smells very Instagramy.”

    “No, dear, still not right.”

  13. The Pope

    “Alec, that’s not the baby’s head!”

    “What baby?”

  14. Little Tongue

    I’m all for nursing your kid all the way up to kindergarten. We all know it’s great for their immune system and shit. But this one has gray hair. #overachieving

  15. vtmark

    Daddy’s turn!!

  16. Never motorboat in anger.

  17. Dox

    Quick Alec, we have to reinflate her head!!

    /hangs head.

    Yeah yeah, Im going.

  18. “You brought the chocolate chip cookies, didn’t you?”

  19. journalschism

    “Are you still sucking the fuckability out of my wife? Why, yes you are my little pookums.”

  20. Babies turn people into babbling idiots. This photo makes me cringe even thinking about the high-pitched babyspeak likely being cooed out here. Ack.

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