1. martian leader

    ‘then, and only then. once you have a firm grasp of the balls, may you begin working on the head. these things can’t be rushed.’

  2. “Then I had her foot like this, OK? And I was like, ‘Look at that big toe,’ allright? And then I went to town on those piggies.”

  3. Smapdi

    “Everybody cut, everybody cut
    Everybody cut, everybody cut
    (Everybody) everybody cut footloose!!”

  4. “I love breasts.. They way they feel like.. bags.. of… sand?”

  5. “…And I did all of these things while I was off of my medication!”

  6. I don’t know what he’s saying, but I bet it goes on a really long time without ever advancing the conversation.

  7. john

    thought it was Tom Arnold for a second

  8. “I keep telling you, I was never married to Roseanne. I only sucked her toes!”

  9. Little Tongue

    “…when they say “what?” is when I insert myself into their wide open mouths. Unbelievably easy! You should try it!”

  10. I am so fucking high right now. Do you even get it?

  11. dontkillthemessenger

    “I would do anything for love…”

  12. “I bought her a PedEgg and after that the heels of her feet were exquisite”

  13. Jenn

    Why yes, my chin does make a great mic rest. How nice of you to notice.

  14. Quentin going all Shatner on us.

  15. ” ♪ ♬ …and I-I-I-I-ya-I-I-I-I-ya-I-I-I-I will always love you-u-u-U-U-u-u-U-U-u-u… ♪ ♬ “

  16. journalschism

    “Don’t be such a chickenshit. You can say it. It’s therapeutic. Believe me, black people love it when I say it!”

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