1. I think there’s a horror that comes when you realize who your fan base is that cannot be hidden by a smile.

  2. Polk

    And here’s the key difference between Simon and Ryan Seacrest.

  3. Swearin

    “Okay girls, I know you all want to be on X Factor but I can’t take all of you. So I’m going to need you all to open your mouths as wide as you can and show me how well you can relax your throat. You know, for singing….”

  4. George P Burdell

    Ho. Ho. Ho. And I thought Christmas had come and gone.

  5. See Simon, this is what you give up when you knock up your friends wife. Mediocre but willing chicks….who you’d probably knock up.

  6. Daughters in front, mothers behind.

  7. whole lot of asses there.

  8. BlackManUSAonTwitter

    “…the Paula called asked Randy to sing like his brother Jermaine while she popped 12 vicodine!!”

    (everybody Laughs)

    “I’m sorry ladies. I’ve got to be going now…”

  9. “So many bitches, so little time…”

  10. Hahahahah it’s a celebration! I’M SIMON COWELL BITCHES!

    You *know* that’s the voice inside his head.

    Why does this guy remind me of William Shatner? Is it the massive ego unjustified by talent? The moobs? The bad hair? I don’t know…

  11. Johnny Barbells

    …yo’ Don, are you seeing this smorgasbord??? we would’nt even have to fight… (unless someone gets greedy)

  12. Wow he has quite a few fans despite how shitty he is.

  13. Vlad

    None of you are going to Hollywood…however, my room number is 423…

  14. cc

    His milkshakes…

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