1. “Give me a sec, folks. Gotta store these tears for my dinner later. Gotta stay hydrated.”

  2. Joe Blow

    Nasty, home-wrecking whore.

  3. No matter how hard I try to wash it away, the spooge still sticks to my eyelashes.

  4. JimBB

    Botox leak!

  5. What was that villain from the old Spiderman cartoons…the Lizard? Lizard Man? For some reason I have the urge to flick my tongue out.

  6. Dr. Badtouch, child proctologist

    Kate Gosselin is losing some weight, huh? Looks good.

  7. Helena Handbasket


  8. Aunt Cracker

    So John Boehner ‘s finally taken his cross dressing public.

  9. “Cocktail reception.” So that’s what they’re calling it these days.

  10. True Dat

    Still way better looking than Brandi Glanville.

    Hubby traded up!

  11. ‘Please excuse me, I seem to have someone else’s husband’s semen in my eye’

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