“No, but seriously your highness… This isn’t a portrait of a horse…. It’s uhmmm you know who….:”

The fact that that nozzle ever got to have Princess Dianna is one of the greatest crimes against humanity ever. E V E R.

Camilla is such a stuffy bitch. Who doesn’t get a good laugh out of crudely drawn cocks?

Yes indeed I did, Your Highness. And believe it or not, Kate – to her chagrin – thought it was a fantastic portrait.

“I asked Her Majesty if I could paint her in the nude, but she said no, I had to wear clothes! Ha! I love that one.”

“Being a painter gets you so much pussy. Am I right, my good fellow!?”

“A non fancy vagina! Ha! I love it!…I’m…I’m sorry? Oh…Ohhhhh. I see. I misunderstood you then. So how does being gay affect your art?”

“That is the most horrific thing I have ever laid my eyes on! What do you call it?”

“Camilla.”

“I simply MUST thank you for the magazine photos you took of my daughter-in-law. I had been trying to devise a way of seeing her in the raw.”