What a sad day for Ethan Hawke and Anthony Edwards…
“One hundred dollars? That’s very generous of you! Thank you so much, I could really use the money . . . what do you mean the money’s not for me? . . . You selfish bitch! My show got canceled and I’m running out of shoes! I’ll kill you!”
“1,000 dollars to punch the woman beside me in the face? Hmmm.”
Someone lost a bet.
I dont want what Snookis “giving”!
Snook, huh? She’s just Snook now?
It’s like when Acquired Immuned Deficiency Syndrome became AIDS.
Well done Snooki. It’s about time you did something useful.
This is Ethan! What do you mean who?! Look, you have to get me another gig. I’ll do anything… I hear Kim Kardashian needs a footstool.
“Oh, hey… nuthin’. You? Yah, I’m just sitting between two tools. People say they used to be in stuff, but I dunno. What’s that? I dunno… I’ll be home whenever this thing is done. Can you do me a favour? Make sure my baby gets it’s full spray tan today? Yah, I totally forgot yesterday and it’s looking all weird now. Yes, I said, “It’s”. Whatever. I gotta go. People are starting to look at me.”
I might correct you about the its/it’s, but I’m sure Snooki would make that mistake herself. Even when speaking.
Do you hear me people? Until we get the $1,000,000.00 we need to save the Jersey Shore, we will not take these three douchebags off of your TV screen. This is NOT an idle threat, they have no where to be. Start digging deep people.
“No, I’m not wearing any panties, and I am dripping wet. What are you wearing? A grey suit with a striped tie?!? Ethan? Cut it out, I see you right there!
The only logical conclusion here is that Snooki’s disaster-meter rolled over 999,999 and she assumed she graduated to disaster relief.
“Thank you very much for your donation. Why thank you, ER was a great experience. What’s that? Ummm… kinda like a wet dog dipped in tanning oil and Valtrex. Yeah, pretty overpowering, but the producers got pissed when I had the clothespin on my nose. No, she had no idea. She’s pretty much just been ordering Chinese food most of the day.”
“Hey Mav, do you still have the name of that truck driving school? Truck Master, I think it is. I might need that”
“Hi, this is Snooki…so you want to donate twenty dollars per month for one year and that comes to…let me see…carry the one…DOES ANYONE HAVE A CALCULATOR?…
She’s ordering a pizza.
Anthony Edwards and Ethan Hawke are on the phone with their agents trying to figure out how they fuck their careers died there
Goose, Loose, and Douche
“Excuse me, do you happen to have my Relevancy? No? Well, maybe my Notoriety is somewhere nearby.?!?!”
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