That’s the same look both his face and his nipple give to Ryan Seacrest…

Three women, eight tits.

So who has bigger implants? Simon or Carmen?

Moooooooooobs.

Pictured: All six prostitutes Simon hired that evening.

Does this count as a “see-through?”

He really needs to invest in a decent bra. If he keeps letting them hang like that, he’s going to end up with some wicked back problems.

I sense that he actually wants us all to see those moobs, and that’s just another reason to hate his guts.

Why is Kate Middleton in the audience?

Thin wool shirt + some well-timed camera flashes + the right angle = too much sexy

Yeah, I’ve got man boobs, and I’m fucking Carmen Electra. Jealous?”

“Okay… one… two… say cheese!

Thanks, kids! Thanks, Bitchtits!”