1. You’re what they call a lezzzbian, aren’t you? I love lezzzzbians…

  2. “Which one of you is named Diana?”

  3. joe

    So. Where’s the Quidditch pitch?

  4. BlackAndWhite.Minstrel

    “Princess Di?.. I fucked her.”

  5. Frank Burns

    “I’ve got something in my pocket for you . . . “

  6. journalschism

    “No, I’m not Ted Koppel. And by the way, this scotch is worth more than all your homes combined.”

  7. Boss Hogg

    “Here’s one for the lads OR the lasses, which of you can take six inches up the backside without blubbing?”

  8. DeucePickle

    “You look like a cross between Harry Potter and Boy George…….I like that…..I like that a lot !”

  9. Bonky

    A couple of sherries and this guy is all over the young girls.

  10. cc

    Camilla thinks of you as the daughter she never had.

  11. “You know, if I’d become a tampon like I wanted to, I’d be dressed as red as you all the time!”

  12. bigalkie

    Yes, I was a member of the homely introverts club myself.

  13. El Jefe

    WTF, Hogwarts is real?

  14. Grand Poobah

    these are our masturbation sweaters we have on, didn’t you know that….want to join?

  15. Mumbler

    He held his wine glass in one hand, his horcrux in the other.

  16. “Using your right hoof, tap out the answer to “what is two plus two” and I’ll give you one of these sugar cubes. It works with Camilla.”

  17. Kelly Brook's new stalker

    I didn’t know Kurt Cobain had a son.

  18. EricLr

    Yes, this is the part between polo matches where I pretend to care about the filth of the country.

  19. Fresh Tuna

    If you study long and hard you still can’t be a prince! Sucker!

  20. fattymcgee

    What followed 20 minutes later was what many will refer to as; The most awkward and polite 5-way, ever.

  21. krisps

    When subsequently asked how his meeting with the young students went, Prince Charles took a leaf out of his father’s book and replied “I’m surprised the underclasses have made it this far. Didn’t the riots wipe out a great many of them last year?”

  22. Master Bater

    “Do you know I once won the Upperclass Twit Of The Year award? Look, I have it right here.”

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