Crossing your legs and crushing your testicles. It’s not a pretty sight.

Oh, there’s Waldo!

The Diabolical Hipster disapproves of Antonio’s submission to his emotions.

Damn, so close to nailing Salma Hayek on that last movie.

“So then Melanie was all like ‘No one can tell I had a little work done’…it was f*in hilarious dude.”

“aaaaaaaaahhh! BRAIN FREEZE!”

“…and numbed by the Tequila aye poot my whole chorizo in her. Three dust-filled hip thrusts later aye feenished, and the creature was satisfayed. Naine months later you were born. Eet was a beautiful theeng.”

“Again last night, she deedent leesten, and made me put my boots in her puss.”

Antonio teaches the public, as usual, why it’s generally a good idea to avoid edible items from McDonald’s.

“#%*^$! this is a Lakers game?!?! I should have gotten courtside seats for the LA hoops team that doesn’t blow.”

“Caramba, I fucking HATE vanilla ice cream!”

strained, “forcing a bowel movement” face aside – i’m drawn to the unfortunately hemmed jeans

You see Mr. Banderas, if there is one thing the history of evolution has taught us it’s that life will not be contained. Life breaks free, expands to new territories, and crashes through barriers, painfully, maybe even dangerously, but, ah, well, there it is. KOBE’S OPEN!

UGGS that look like Cowboy boots are still UGGS you fucking crazy little Spaniard.

“Brain freeze!!!!!”