1. “When I was six, Mom said “God doesn’t play favorites.” Obviously, this turned out to be a load of horseshit. But, on the plus side, I never had to put Russell Brand’s junk in my mouth. So, things are better than even, if you look at the big picture.”

  2. Lord Helmet

    With such a bucksome sister the brother usually either turns into a womanizer or a complete pussy. He chose wrong.

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