1. “It would hurt a normal person, but I’ve had my vagina lined with Teflon for years …”

  2. The whole is still a wreck, but the more I click, the more I’m starting to make amends with them knockers.

  3. That won’t even touch the sides…

  4. Qmak

    “…and so during filming for The Fifth Element…they told me to sing in my native language and then Bruce Willis was going to pull these things out of my stomach…”

  5. Phoenix

    Turn it around the other way and jam it all the way in you’re ear, you talentless cunt. …Maybe a couple of whacks with a ballpeen hammer too, just for good measure.

  6. Duck86

    “4.99 at the dollar store? Are you fuckin wit me??!!”

  7. Nobody's Second Cousin

    “Wait,now. What is this, again?”

  8. Bionic_Crouton

    “Thank you for this glass dildo award.”

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