Chris Brown’s Selling Pit Bulls Online Now

The Superficial / April 27, 2012

I’ll be frank, I don’t know a lot about dogs or puppy mills or the SPCA, but I do know a lot about Chris Brown being a fucking idiot which brings us to his latest online venture: Selling pit bulls online for $1,000 a pop which just made Michael Vick go, “People are going to… More »

Octomom Makes Her Own Money To Spend On Haircuts, The Welfare Is Just For The Kids. What?

The Superficial / April 26, 2012

“See? We even have an England room. Everything’s fine, just fine. AHAHAHA- Octo-squad, attack!

Octomom managed to piss off the entire Internet, and California taxpayers even moreso, yesterday when TMZ ran photos from the inside of her house along with claims that she’s dropping $500 on haircuts while on welfare and won’t fix… More »

And Welcome To The Exact Moment Johnny Depp Told Native Americans To Eat A Dick

The Superficial / April 20, 2012

There’s no way we don’t have to give them an entire state now. Just.. goddammit, Johnny Depp.
Photo: PeopleMore »

Axl Rose Turns Down Induction Into Hall of Fame, Still Really Hates Original Guns N’ Roses

The Superficial / April 12, 2012

I was going to start this post with some sort of clever quip about how getting laid immediately fills a man with a certain bravado that 100% of the time leads to him making horrible fucking decisions. But then I remembered Axl Rose has been crazy for a really long time and already hinted he… More »

This Is The Last Time You’ll See Jessica Simpson Looking ‘Fat,’ According To Jessica Simpson

The Superficial / April 10, 2012

Last month, we saw a pregnant Jessica Simpson posing nude for the April issue of Elle which apparently hit newsstands because here she is pimping the issue on Twitter while making the most ridiculous statement she’ll ever make in her life. And, yes, that’s counting the time she asked if the baby can see the… More »

Here’s Tim Tebow Getting A Mani/Pedi

The Superficial / April 5, 2012

Above is former Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow getting a mani/pedi in West Hollywood on Tuesday.
Below are three beautiful women he chose not to have sex with.
I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.

Maria Menounos

More »

Laurie From ‘That 70s Show’ Says She Was Framed

The Superficial / April 4, 2012

After being arrested for spousal abuse over the weekend, That 70s Show actress Lisa Robin Kelly is now claiming she was set up by her male roommate who beat the shit out of himself just to get her arrested, so have I mentioned these people are drug addicts? These people are drug addicts. TMZ reports:… More »

Country Music’s Mad At Ashton Kutcher

The Superficial / April 3, 2012

For some reason, somebody thought it’d be a great idea to invite Ashton Kutcher, the guy who fucked over Demi Moore by banging 23-year-olds on their wedding anniversary, to Sunday’s American Country Music Awards to present Female Vocalist of the Year to Miranda Lambert which he did, but only after showing up in a ten-gallo… More »

Chris Brown Tweets Support For Trayvon Martin. Oh, Goddammit…

The Superficial / March 30, 2012

Spike Lee being a fucking idiot aside, things were starting to turn around in the Trayvon Martin case. ABC News obtained footage that showed a clearly non-injured George Zimmerman despite conveniently leaked police reports claiming he was punched repeatedly and his skull bashed against the curb. From there, Rush Limbaugh decided to follow-up SlutGate by… More »

Octomom Finally Did Porn To Keep Her House

The Superficial / March 27, 2012

When Octomom fired 14 children out of her vagina, she just assume the TV money would come rolling in and she could simply pay an army of nannies to raise her uterus droppings army she only squeezed out to get all that TV money. Except Octomom failed to factor in America’s amazing capacity to not… More »

George Clooney Got Arrested

The Superficial / March 16, 2012

George Clooney was arrested in Washington, DC today for protesting outside the Sudanese embassy, except none of that’s even scandalous at all because he wanted to get arrested to bring exposure to his cause and was smiling the whole time. But what is important is that I’ve discovered George Clooney testifying to a senate hearing… More »

Peter Dinklage Is The Best At What He Does, But What He Does Isn’t Very Nice

The Superficial / March 12, 2012

I want to eff the Internet so hard right now…
[Ed. Note: Quick bit of site news that none of you will read because why the hell would you ever stop looking at the top pic. (No, really, what are you doing down here?) I’m without a Photo Boy this week, yet as this postMore »


The Superficial / March 9, 2012

There are two simple rules to the gossip racket:
1. If a woman retains more than .5 oz of water, she’s pregnant.
2. If two famous people stand next to each other, they fucked.
So with that in mind and armed with the information that reports of his $10.8 million bang-mansion were premature, here’s a… More »

Jessica Simpson Posed Nude For ‘Elle.’ Pregnant.

The Superficial / March 7, 2012

Here’s a pregnant Jessica Simpson posing nude (Full shot here.) for the April issue of Elle if posing nude means they de-jowled her head and slapped it on Demi Moore’s body because it was cheaper than airbrushing out nacho cheese burns. Regardless, Jessica confirms she’s having a girl, but more importantly reveals I was right… More »

And Here’s The Snooki’s Pregnant Cover

The Superficial / March 7, 2012

Like clockwork here’s the Us Weekly cover confirming Snooki’s pregnancy and engagement even though she basically already did that by walking around with a giant rock on her finger Monday night. At any rate, here’s how Snooki plans to shat out her fur-baby and spend its first moments of life. Via Hollywood Life:
As for… More »

Paula Deen Wanted To Dress Up ‘N-ggers’ And Make Them Tap Dance Like Shirley Temple. Allegedly.

The Superficial / March 6, 2012

“Is that a negro? Bring it here. I desire jazz hands.”
Paula Deen and her brother Bubba Hiers (This story’s great already, I know.) are currently being sued for sexual harrasment by Lisa Jackson the former general manager of their jointly-owned restaurant Uncle Bubba’s Oyster House. Along with claims that Bubba openly watched porn i… More »

Thank You, Ralph McQuarrie (1929 – 2012)

The Superficial / March 5, 2012

Ralph McQuarrie, the legendary science-fiction concept artist who gave George Lucas’ original Star Wars trilogy its iconic, timeless look, died Saturday at 82. And for those of you who haven’t spent 98% of your life obsessed with Star Wars like I still am (Did you know they made McQuarrie concept figures?! I need to quit… More »

Andrew Breitbart & Anthony Weiner Were Going To Do A CNN Show Together. Come Again?

The Superficial / March 2, 2012

If this thing wasn’t going to be called “CrossStream,” we’re truly lost as a nation.
Just so a certain segment of The Superficial’s audience believes this, here’s a report from FOX Nation: The Network Jesus Would Watch that says Andrew Breitbart and Anthony Weiner, the Democratic congressman he brought down by accurately reporting he wa… More »

Good Morning, Kate Upton and Other News

Photo Boy / March 2, 2012

Posted by Photo Boy
- Alex Rodriguez has a Latina option now. [theCHIVE]
- Jon Hamm tells AMC executives to eat a dick. [Huffington Post]
- Jennifer Aniston says she doesn’t need kids to be happy, which you’re supposed to interpret as ‘I’m still in love with Brad.’ [Dlisted]
– Don’t drop by Gwyneth Paltrow&#8217… More »

Chris Brown’s Mom Is Tired Of His Bullsh*t

The Superficial / February 16, 2012

In the immediate aftermath of his attack on Rihanna, Chris Brown’s mom Joyce Hawkins, herself a victim of domestic abuse, basically held his hand through the whole ordeal and told everyone how he’s such a good kid so go easy on him. Surprisingly, this turned Chris into an even bigger spoiled brat with a complete… More »

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