Sheldon Stephens Is Elmo’s Accuser

The Superficial / November 15, 2012

Because sometimes, but not too often or else it’ll get ideas, the Internet does more than just fill our eyes with delicious porn and babies dressed like Iron Man (No one suggest combining those two. I know you’re thinking about it.), The Smoking Gun has discovered the identity of Kevin Clash’s accuser: 24-year-old Sheldon Stephens,… More »

Snooki’s New Teeth Look Fantastic

Photo Boy / November 14, 2012

Posted by Photo Boy
While MTV’s Jersey Shore is finally uttering its death rattle after this season, The Little Ewok That Could spawn super-AIDS is apparently thriving. Not only is she launching another product tailor-made for that sweet 15 year old prostitute demographic, but she’s also achieved the type of middling wealth that buys cosmetic… More »

Bertney’s Mama & Papa Won That Dang Ol’ Court Case ‘Gainst That There Mooslim Fella (Not Obama)

The Superficial / November 2, 2012

After attempting to paint himself as a walking rehab clinic/management team that helped Britney Spears kick a fictional meth habit, Sam Lutfi saw his lawsuit against Bertney and her parents completely thrown out yesterday which is usually what happens when you’re completely full of shit. TMZ reports:
Lutfi had filed a lawsuit — claiming the… More »

Kate Gosselin Just Got Fired From Coupon Cabin

The Superficial / October 16, 2012

“Are coupons little Asian children that suck the life out of you? Because I know about those. And stuffing them into a cabin.”

Probably because her first post right out of the gate wasn’t about coupons but instead denying those pesky plastic surgery rumors that, well, you’d have to be famous like her… More »

The Hulk Hogan Sex Tape Was Leaked By Bubba’s ‘Disgruntled Former Employee.’ Sure, It Was.

The Superficial / October 11, 2012

“So she’s going wild on my Hulkamania, and that’s when I notice these beautiful artisan pickles on the armoire. Just perfectly hand-crafted.”
According to TMZ, at the very end of the Hulk Hogan sex tape he had no idea was secretly being filmed, Hulk’s best friend Bubba the Love Sponge turns to his wife HeatherMore »


The Superficial / October 11, 2012

Posted by Photo Boy
- Ben Affleck’s interview in The Hollywood Reporter is apparently great, so just assume it includes a detailed account and pictures of him banging Blake Lively. [Lainey Gossip]
– Redheads Breasts – Self-Esteem = Thursdays at [theCHIVE]
- Leona Lewis may have misunderstood the spanking in Fifty Shades of Grey. [Dlisted]… More »

Madonna Calls Obama A Black Muslim, Threatens To Strip If He’s Re-Elected. NOT HELPING.

The Superficial / September 25, 2012

Because she’s an idiot, Madonna genuinely believed she could influence the outcome of the presidential election in Obama’s favor by calling him America’s first black Muslim president and then promising to strip if he’s re-elected. So if someone could patch me through to Mitt Romney, I’d like to congratulate him on his win. Good race. More »

Rihanna Tweeted Prayers And Support For Chris Brown’s Probation Hearing, Isn’t Wearing Pants

The Superficial / September 25, 2012

Chris Brown is still on probation for beating the ever-living shit out of Rihanna, but thanks to Stockholm Syndrome of the fists, they’re more than likely fucking again already so she tweeted the following yesterday before his hearing:
– Praying for you baby, my best wishes are with you today! Remember that whatever God doe… More »

This Post Is About Taylor Swift’s Crazy Prominent Cameltoe And How I Never Noticed It Before

The Superficial / September 24, 2012

My that’s a crazy prominent cameltoe. I’ve never noticed it before. (Toldja.)

Slide Down The Bench, Reese

More »

The Taliban Are Trying To Kill Prince Harry

The Superficial / September 10, 2012

So remember when I joked about The Queen wanting some sort of “accident” to happen to Prince Harry after his naked party pics embarrassed the Royal Family? Uhhhh…
“We are using all our strength to get rid of him, either by killing or kidnapping,” Taliban spokesman Zabihullah Mujahid told Reuters by telephone from an undisclosed… More »

So Nicki Minaj Is A Republican

The Superficial / September 4, 2012

If you follow politics closely, you may have noticed the blogosphere freaking out today over claims that Nicki Minaj is a Republican even though she’s black with a foot-long yucky Satan hole making her everything the GOP stands against. Even more ridiculous, the source is a Lil Wayne track where Nicki claims to be hanging… More »

Calvin Klein Made Alexander Skarsgard GIFs

The Superficial / August 22, 2012

Put this on and prepare to lose hours of your life if not days. In fact, some of you might not be going home tonight, so I want you to know I’ll always cherish the times you clicked on this site so I didn’t have to wear pants.
See you on the other side. More »

Justin Bieber To Prince William: ‘Yo, Why You Bald?’

The Superficial / August 8, 2012

In case you were wondering how the Justin Bieber “I’m A Little Shithead” tour is going, he’s now moved on to insulting British royalty for going bald because apparently everyone should have finely coiffed, Canadian Maple Christ hair, that probably softens to the touch and smells of cinnamon and gummy bears. Or so I hear. More »

Bryan Cranston Got a Real Bargain on The Dutch Hooker Who Took His Virginity

Photo Boy / August 2, 2012

“And for an extra 3 guilders, POW — Right in the titties!”
Posted by Photo Boy
Bryan Cranston is probably the greatest actor of all time. Ok, that could be a bit of an overstatement, but not if you’re not a fan of Breaking Bad and/or stories involving teenagers tricking their parents into funding their… More »

Miley Cyrus Washed Off Her Dang Ol’ Boobies For Liam

Photo Boy / August 2, 2012

Posted by Photo Boy
Miley Cyrus is 19, and rich as shit, so it makes sense that she has absolutely no perspective on how distracting and annoying it is to a man to have to address her immature neediness. Oh and did I mention while he’s working? Because she’s pulling this shit while he’s working. More »

Good Morning, Candice Swanepoel, And Other News

The Superficial / August 1, 2012

- First Time Chivettes [theCHIVE]
- Mariah Carey has never looked in a mirror has she? [Lainey Gossip]
- Olympics or Gay Porn? It’s hard to tell sometimes. [BuzzFeed]
- Karl Lagerfeld hates Pippa Middleton now. [Dlisted]
- Sophia Bush in Daisy Dukes. [Popoholic]
– What happened to Cuba Gooding Jr.‘s career? He’s probably bee… More »

Here’s Bradley Cooper As The Elephant Man

The Superficial / July 31, 2012

Because I’m a firm believer that the Internet should have pictures of literally everything on it, here’s a shirtless Bradley Cooper sitting in an old-timey bathtub looking like he had a stroke in case anyone wanted to look at that. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it was a riveting performance that laid bare a… More »

Lindsay Lohan Is Being Difficult About Nudity Again

The Superficial / July 31, 2012

At least once a month, Lindsay Lohan gets practically naked in a room at Chateau Marmont and lets Terry Richardson take a bunch of pictures of her and publish them on a worldwide communication system accessed by billions of people, but why should that stop her from being a pain in the ass on the… More »

Madonna Bails After 45 Minute Concert, French Call Her A ‘Slut’

The Superficial / July 27, 2012

Yesterday, Madonna was spotted with an “anti-aging device” which some of you pointed out is very similar to oxygen machines used in nursing homes. Which probably explains why she only performed for 45 minutes in Paris later that night causing the French to revolt and call her a slut because apparently that’s what it take… More »

So No One’s Gonna Say Anything About Madonna Using A Gun To Make People Watch Her Strip?

The Superficial / July 18, 2012

“Relax, I’ve shot apples from way farther away than this. Now to adjust for my cataracts…”
Here’s Madonna pointing a gun at a London audience last night before taking off her clothes as everyone stood paralyzed with fear. Which in my book is the very definition of sexual assault, but of course, everyone’s going to… More »

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