‘Thanks For The Giant Boobs, Katy Perry. Here’s The Shittiest Ring You’ve Ever Seen In Your Life.’

The Superficial / February 20, 2013

Here’s the ring John Mayer gave Katy Perry on Valentine’s Day that many have speculated is an engagement ring because he’s a douche and only a douche would propose with the Care Bears submarine. If you twist the top it probably plays “Your Body is A Wonderland” while Jennifer Love Hewitt cries alone in the… More »

Rihanna & Chris Brown Aren’t Engaged. Yet.

The Superficial / February 12, 2013

After Rihanna was spotted with a diamond ring on her finger during the Grammys, rumors quickly started that she’s engaged to Chris Brown because she was stupid enough to get back together with him, so why the hell wouldn’t this happen? Turns out the ring was simply a loan from a jeweler, according to GossipMore »

Justin Bieber Cheated On Selena Gomez With Rihanna? This Kid? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The Superficial / February 6, 2013

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Life & Style reports:
Though Justin and Selena, who have been dating since late 2010, have been off and on in recent months as work kept them apart, this devastating piece of information caused her to break things off for good, says the friend. Now, “Selena thinks maybe they’ve bee… More »

Beyonce’s Publicist Tried To Edit The Internet, It Didn’t Work

The Superficial / February 6, 2013

Like every entertainment site on the Internet, Buzzfeed posted pics from Beyonce’s Super Bowl halftime show which obviously included shots were she’s making weird faces because that’s what happens when you’re dancing your goddamn ass off. A fact that apparently escaped Beyonce’s publicist who you’d just assume would be used to seeing her client look… More »

Didn’t Watch The Game? Here Are All The Trailers

The Superficial / February 4, 2013

We’ve reached peak black microphone.
If you’re like me, you abstain from all religions including ones tied with the Catholic Church for Most Rapes, so for your work-neglecting pleasure, here are the trailers for Iron Man 3, Star Trek Into Darkness, The Lone Ranger, Oz: The Great And Powerful and Fast & Furious 6 that… More »

Kim Kardashian Will Tweet Baby Photos For Free Because Kanye West ‘Changed’ Her?

The Superficial / January 22, 2013

If Teen Mom has taught me anything about pregnancy, it’s that having a child does absolutely nothing to help women make smarter decisions, and in some cases, actually makes them stupider, so get ready for this horseshit: Against Kris Jenner’s pimp-wishes, Kim Kardashian actually wants to tweet photos of her baby for free because KanyeMore »

Jessica Simpson ‘Shocked’ She Got Pregnant Again

The Superficial / January 16, 2013

Jessica Simpson stopped by The Tonight Show last night where she either tried to pretend it was a complete accident she got pregnant again ending all that stupid dieting and exercising or admitted she doesn’t know how babies are made. It literally could go either way. Via People:
The second pregnancy, she added, was not… More »

Weed And Taking His Shirt Off Are All The Girlfriend Justin Bieber Needs Now

The Superficial / January 7, 2013

Sometime before New Year’s, Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez apparently called it quits again sending him straight into the arms of a rapper named Lil Twist who’s already transformed the Maple Christ into a shirtless, pot-smoking braggadocio with a thirst for blood. Which says a lot about Lil Twist’s influence considering Justin Bieber used to… More »

LeAnn Rimes Says Carly Rose Butchering Her Song Made Her Look Drunk. Yup.

The Superficial / December 20, 2012

After the entire Internet saw LeAnn Rimes “perform” with 13-year-old Carly Rose Sonenclar on X Factor last night, it was a pretty much a given everyone was going to assume she was drunk which is usually what happens when you can barely stand, repeatedly beef your own song and suddenly start making Christina Aguilera hand… More »

Now We’re Supposed To Believe Tom Cruise Is Banging Malin Akerman’s Sister. Her Female Sister.

Photo Boy / December 20, 2012

Posted by Photo Boy
Just a few months ago, the anti-gay rumor squad known as Tom Cruise’s PR team squeezed out a log made entirely of these lies. But since Cameron Diaz is a full three feet taller than him and would never let him be a bottom, we’ve now got another completely believable story… More »

Tom Cruise Sprayed Jimmy Fallon With His Gun, His Big Powerful Gun. Dudes Do That.

The Superficial / December 19, 2012

Since we’ve seen Miley Cyrus get exactly what she wanted for her birthday, here’s Tom Cruise getting an item from his Christmas list: A playful water fight with Jimmy Fallon in a faux military bunker that’s really a fully-functioning butt sex planetarium complete with a bird’s eye view of Xenu’s Seven Planetary Orbs of… More »

Jennifer Aniston’s Wax Statue Is Missing Something

Photo Boy / December 13, 2012

Nipples. It doesn’t have permanently erect nipples.
Posted by Photo Boy
Some of you may know that when it comes to Jennifer Aniston, Fish and I have differing opinions. He seems to think her womb to be some type of Hoth-like frozen wasteland, whereas I happen to think she’s aged gracefully and still deserves to… More »

Lindsay Lohan’s Life Is ‘Storage Wars’ Now

The Superficial / December 13, 2012

Because Lindsay Lohan doesn’t believe in paying anything that isn’t Dina’s mortgage, she now owes $16,000 on a storage unit that will most likely go up for auction because the IRS took all her money. So now might be a good time to finally “thank” Charlie Sheen and hope he’s a tipper. TMZ reports:
Lindsay… More »

‘Man Of Steel’ Has A New Trailer

The Superficial / December 11, 2012

Here’s the newer, longer trailer for Man of Steel that showcases the different parenting styles of Russell Crowe and Kevin Costner who I’ll now refer to as Hugging Space Dad and Eh, Let People Die Dad from here on out. Not that I’m complaining because at least they finally explain why Superman keeps flying into… More »

Miley Cyrus Wore Bondage Gear During The ‘Christmas Creampies’ Concert. These Are Facts.

Photo Boy / December 10, 2012

Posted by Photo Boy
I’m going to start by setting aside the fact that there exists such a thing as a ‘Christmas Creampies’ concert that somehow doesn’t star Kim Kardashian and an entire NFL offensive line *snaps off latex gloves*. That said, here’s Miley Cyrus still committing to that atrocity of a haircut and wearing… More »

Rihanna is Already Fighting With Chris Brown, May Have Tattooed ‘Breezy’ on Her Neck

Photo Boy / December 10, 2012

Posted by Photo Boy
It’s an age-old love story. Boy meets girl. Girl peeps phone. Boy tries to murder girl. Girl resumes butt-sexing boy a few years later. I’m almost positive this is the plot of Gone With The Wind. Anyway, just 11 short days ago, Rihanna made it clear that she’s ready for another… More »

Lindsay Lohan’s Stalking Max George Again

The Superficial / December 6, 2012

Last week, Lindsay Lohan was arrested for “allegedly” punching a psychic who dared to talk to Lindsay’s boyfriend, Max George of The Wanted, if boyfriend means some dude who fucks other people while you drunkenly stalk him. So naturally she just showed up backstage at last night’s Jingle Ball in Philly (above) and was allowed… More »

Am I Looking At Ke$ha From The Front Or Back?

The Superficial / December 4, 2012

“Umm.. front? No, that can’t be right. Dammit.” – Every gynecologist looking at this
Photos: GettyMore »

It’s The ‘Man Of Steel’ Poster And Other News

The Superficial / December 4, 2012

- Yoga Pants as far as the eye can see… [theCHIVE]
- Megan Fox already looks fantastic, has a “pretend face.” [Lainey Gossip]
– The other day I posted a link about Adam Levine being a whiny primadonna. This almost made me feel bad about that. Almost. [Dlisted]
- 26 Things Rihanna Didn’t Apologize ForMore »

Hear Ye! Hear Ye! The Duchess of Cambridge’s Royal Uterus Has Been Sperminated!

The Superficial / December 3, 2012

“You’ve done it now, William, there’s no saving the bloodline after this. Why could you not have a girl, mother?!”
After all that naked stuff happened to them back in September, Kate Middleton and Prince Charles needed something to distract from the Royal Brillo Pad of Pelvicton Lane and while racism seemed like a good… More »

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