Sightings

Vadgity Chipmunk’s Hee-Haw Hootenanny!

The Superficial | January 30, 2014 - 12:39 pm

Because it apparently takes 24 hours to edit Miley Cyrus twerking on a horse, here’s her MTV Unplugged performance with Madonna that aired last night. And if anyone wants to start throwing around the word “demonic,” maybe start here because as soon as I finished watching this, a faceless baby floated in front of me… More »


Aw, Shit, Here Comes The Hardest Motherf*cker On The Planet

The Superficial | January 23, 2014 - 2:19 pm

When you hire a lawyer like Roy Black who famously helped William Kennedy Smith duck rape charges in 1991, so I have no idea why Justin Bieber would have his number on hand, none at all, you should probably be very concerned if he doesn’t tell you to roll down your fucking sleeves and stop… More »


Miley Cyrus Is Going To Stick To This Vagina Thing, See Where It Goes

The Superficial | January 8, 2014 - 1:42 pm

In case you were wondering how Miley Cyrus is going to change things up in 2014, she’s not unless you count seeing how far up her vulva she can wedge her leotard without splitting herself into two. Which, now that I think about it, is why Justin Bieber exists, so forget I spoke. Anyway, I… More »



Tila Tequila Has A New Sex Tape Coming Out, Is A Marketing Genius

The Superficial | December 16, 2013 - 9:48 am

Up until last week it seemed like Tila Tequila had fallen off the face of the earth if not returned to Smurf Village where Papa Smurf had to answer some tough questions about his time in Nam. But then she claimed the Jews killed Paul Walker with their Illuminati powers and suddenly she was the… More »


Katy Perry Almost Committed Suicide Because of Russell Brand Divorce

The Superficial | October 1, 2013 - 2:10 pm

In a new interview with Billboard, Katy Perry admits she contemplated suicide after her divorce from Russell Brand. And if you’re wondering if she could seriously be that stupid, in the next paragraph she calls John Mayer a genius, so yes. Yes, she could.

Elsewhere, Perry pointedly confronts her turbulent recent history. The… More »


Sydney Leathers Giving Myla Sinanaj A Lapdance Is Now Part Of Your Consciousness Forever

Photo Boy | September 17, 2013 - 1:30 pm

Posted by Photo Boy

While Fish is off exploring the new maps (That’s a thing I’ve heard people who play games excitedly talk about, so I chose to reference it in an attempt to seem savvy.) in Grand Theft Auto V, I decided to destroy a piece of, if not your entire soul… More »



Ben Affleck’s Getting A Divorce

Photo Boy | September 17, 2013 - 12:30 pm

Posted by Photo Boy

So not only is Ben Affleck goddamn Batman now, he’s also just been cast opposite Emily Ratajkowski in the adaptation of Gillian Flynn’s novel ‘Gone Girl.’ E! News reports:
Ratajkowski will play Andie, a beautiful college student who Nick Dunne (Ben Affleck) has an affair with before choosing… More »


Courtney Stodden Got Evicted From ‘Celebrity Big Brother,’ God Save The Queen

The Superficial | September 12, 2013 - 10:00 am

Courtney Stodden got evicted from Celebrity Big Brother last night. And since I don’t know what any of that means or if matters to a single person, I posted pics of her big fake breasts anyway and will simply assume this is all some sort of British Parliamentary procedure where Baby Prince George Alexander Chrysanthemum… More »


There Are Demi Lovato Nude Photos. Yay?

The Superficial | August 20, 2013 - 1:20 pm

Someone is reportedly trying to sell over 20 nude photos of Demi Lovato in “compromising positions,” according to Radar who apparently talks like Downtown Abbey now:

Radar has been unable to verify the breast-baring images are authentic, however the woman in the images has some tell-tale signs suggesting it is indeed the ex-Sonny… More »



If I Could Ask God One Question, It’s Why The Hell Did You Let Justin Bieber Have Sex With This?

The Superficial | August 16, 2013 - 1:40 pm

Here’s Selena Gomez performing in Vancouver last night where apparently she added sexy rope shit to her show just in case everyone wasn’t sure how awesome her body is and that Justin Bieber had absolutely no fucking business going near it. Except, wait, hold on. I’ve just been handed new information that makes me regret… More »


Marky Mark Wants To Be Iron Man

The Superficial | August 16, 2013 - 11:21 am

“Hey, Jahvis. Wanna know why my ahms shoot freakin’ laser beams?
Because I don’t masturbate.” *skreeeeee-BOOOSH*

In a recent interview, Mark Wahlberg revealed that he’d love to be the next Iron Man which is, of course, ridiculous on its face because Tony Stahk ain’t no freakin’ Southie. Even more ridiculous is why… More »


Prince Is On Twitter

The Superficial | August 14, 2013 - 11:16 am

During the 2010 release of Prince’s album 20TEN, he explained to the Mirror that the Internet was over which was for the best because it was just filling our heads with numbers. These were actual words that Prince spoke which makes it all the more amazing that the same person is not only tweeting now,… More »



Chris Brown Had A Seizure Because Y’All Be Hatin’

The Superficial | August 12, 2013 - 9:30 am

Chris Brown’s suffered from seizures ever since he was a small boy which technically is something one should be sympathetic to, but hoping he ironically bit his tongue off is a valid response, too. (You can’t see it because you have sin in your heart, but Jesus is nodding in agreement right now. And dunking… More »


Bruce Willis Called ‘Lazy And Greedy’ By Man Starting Production On His 11th Sequel

Photo Boy | August 7, 2013 - 3:30 pm

“Vhy are you not speaking to Bruce? Did he vuck your maid, too?”

Posted by Photo Boy

Full Disclosure: Having recently declared A Good Day To Die Hard as the death knell to my man love for Bruce Willis, I have to go on record here to say that Sylvester StalloneMore »


THE ROYAL CAR SEAT STRAPS ARE ALL WRONG! STOP THE INTERNET!

The Superficial | July 25, 2013 - 12:32 pm

“I can’t flip anybody off in here! RELEASE YOUR KING AT ONCE.”

Some people might say this site is the worst possible type of blog imaginable, soul rotting, bullshit even, and those people would be mostly right except they’d be forgetting there’s still one step below me: Mommy blogs. Case in point: The… More »



Behold! The Royal Rugrat Has Been Named

The Superficial | July 24, 2013 - 3:00 pm

First off, huge thanks to everyone in the comments yesterday for pointing out the Royal Baby was flipping everybody off. I fucking love this kid already. And now the little scoundrel has a name, according to People:

“The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are delighted to announce that they have named their son… More »


And, Wow, It’s The Royal Baby Already. Okay.

The Superficial | July 23, 2013 - 3:29 pm

While Kim Kardashian is still keeping her over-a-month-old daughter under wraps for maximum publicity, not even 24 hours after giving birth, Kate Middleton and Prince William literally walked their newborn son into a crowd of people outside of the hospital like it ain’t no thing. “A baby, you say? Oh, right, this little chap. Yes,… More »


Holy Shit, Adrian Paul Is Immortal In Real Life

The Superficial | July 22, 2013 - 1:19 pm

Some people will try to tell you the big news out of Comic-Con this weekend is the announcement of a Superman/Batman movie or the reveal of the villain for The Avengers 2, and those people will be idiots. The real news is that Adrian Paul was not only there, alive and well, but hasn’t aged… More »



Goddammit, Rolling Stone

The Superficial | July 17, 2013 - 10:28 am

Because apparently Jann Wenner’s kid is picking the covers now, Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev is on the cover of Rolling Stone’s August issue which, if you haven’t heard by now, has caused some shit. And understandably so because what the goddamn fuck?! I get that there’s an exhaustively researched piece in the issue that’s… More »


Jennifer Lopez Has Made $10 Million Performing For Dictators And Despots

The Superficial | July 15, 2013 - 2:09 pm

“Betcha never seen a ‘gas chamber’ quite like mine. Now, c’mon, North Korea, make some NOOOOOIIISEE!”

Turns out that time Jennifer Lopez sang Happy Birthday to Turkmenistan dictator wasn’t a one-time thing because she’s been quietly collecting somewhere in the ballpark of $10 million by performing for some of the worst dictators and… More »


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