Pippa Middleton’s ‘Butt’ Will Tide You Over

The Superficial | June 23, 2011 - 1:48 pm

While we wait for the results of Lindsay Lohan’s probation hearing, here’s Pippa Middleton in a tight dress which I’m entirely posting to attract European readers and show them how we handle celebrity justice here in the colonies. Which is we don’t. We don’t do anything. One of them even killed a kid and we… More »

Chris Brown Loves The Gays

The Superficial | June 23, 2011 - 1:21 pm

“Damn, I’mma need a bigger door for this one. There a van around here?”

Yesterday, Chris Brown illegally parked his car, yet managed to talk his way out of a ticket because punishing celebrities in LA is apparently against the law. But before the officer showed up, Chris accused the paparazzi of calling… More »

Amber Rose is.. Sporty? and Other News

Photo Boy | June 23, 2011 - 12:10 pm

Posted by Photo Boy

- Courtney Love must be broke again. [Huffington Post]

- Pink is apparently more comfortable with European tabloids. [Dlisted]

- Ashlee Simpson is banging Lucky Luciano from Boardwalk Empire. [Lainey Gossip]

- Holly Madison’s spray-tanned cleavage. [Hollywood Tuna]

– The MissMore »

Avril Lavigne in a Bikini

The Superficial | June 23, 2011 - 11:02 am

I’ve honestly never seen the appeal of Avril Lavigne, so you’d just assume seeing her in a bikini and rubbing her “chest” in another chick’s face might persuade me to reconsider that stance. It didn’t. So, here she is in St. Tropez yesterday where I’m almost positive she lured this boat in with a song… More »

Lindsay Lohan Fails Alcohol Test, Goes Diva on Matt Lauer

The Superficial | June 23, 2011 - 10:17 am

Despite reports to the contrary, Lindsay Lohan actually is subject to alcohol tests while on house arrest because she just failed one which is really the only plausible ending to her telling Life & Style there’s no booze in her house. So, of course, she’s due back in court today to face threats of jail,… More »

I Don’t Even Know Miley Cyrus Anymore

The Superficial | June 22, 2011 - 4:15 pm

A long time ago, Miley Cyrus used to be a budding young artist who always performed her own vagina diddles. But apparently she pays backup dancers to do it now because she’s “Hollywood,” to which I say, what the fuck, Miley? It supposed to be about the diddles! I hate you! *takes out slam book,More »

Lindsay Lohan is Giving Exclusive Interviews During Her House Arrest

The Superficial | June 22, 2011 - 2:21 pm

In between parties, shooting commercials, trying to escape and making bikini movies, Lindsay Lohan somehow found time to indulge Life & Style with an interview about how really, really hard house arrest is, and that it’s taught her a lesson. For real this 18th time.

On the sacrifices:
“I was really upset… More »

Steve-O is The Voice of Reason?

The Superficial | June 21, 2011 - 3:37 pm

As the world wraps its head around Jackass star Ryan Dunn wrapping his Porsche around a tree, killing himself and passenger Zachary Hartwell, who we now know was a former Navy SEAL and Iraq war vet, Steve-O, who everyone just assumed and quietly hoped would be the first “Jackass” to die, has approached the situation… More »

Paris Hilton Got Dumped Again

The Superficial | June 21, 2011 - 1:10 pm

And now for some feel good news.

Cy Waits has apparently kicked Paris Hilton to the curb, according to Us Magazine:

“They are broken up,” one pal tells Us of Hilton, 30, and Vegas club owner Waits. “It’s sad, she cares about him a lot and thinks he’s a great guy… More »

Cameron Diaz Will Eat Your Children and Other News

Photo Boy | June 21, 2011 - 1:09 pm

Posted by Photo Boy

- Rob Zombie’s Woolite commercial. You just read that. [Videogum]

- James Blunt is this week’s fuel for inane Internet angst Tracy Morgan. [Huffington Post]

- Leonardo DiCaprio continues his worldwide tour of Blake Lively’s vagina. [Dlisted]

- Jon Hamm is humble even… More »

Bam Margera is a Little Bitch

The Superficial | June 21, 2011 - 11:20 am

Here’s what we know about Ryan Dunn’s death:

1. He was drinking. Heavily.
2. He got behind the wheel of a Porsche with a passenger in the car.
3. He drove at speeds believed to be around 100 mph down a rural Pennsylvania road.
4. He has a history of… More »

Maple Christ’s Son Will Not Go Hungry,
He Checked

The Superficial | June 21, 2011 - 10:20 am

In the midst of all the bikinis, drunk drivers, merkins and areolae yesterday, I completely missed Justin Bieber staring directly into Selena Gomez’s cleavage at the Much Music Awards Sunday night and making a face that clearly says, “Golly wilikers, those sure got big!” So, go ahead and add this to the list of signsMore »

Game of Bimbos: A Clash of Gold-Diggers

The Superficial | June 20, 2011 - 3:41 pm

Crystal Harris was supposed to marry Hugh Hefner on Saturday, yet broke off the wedding earlier in the week to make a quick buck, so of course, she immediately used her new “celebrity” status as Hugh’s runaway bride to help Heidi Montag host a pool party on the day she cost her wedding guests thousands… More »

Lady Gaga Wears a Blue Merkin Now, Of Course

The Superficial | June 20, 2011 - 12:36 pm

And now back to the important news.

Lady Gaga performed at the Much Music Awards last night and demonstrated her keen, almost genius attention to detail by making sure the massive pubic wig sticking out of her pants matched her hair color. Had it been red, I’d think we can all agree this… More »

Taylor Momsen Almost Looks Normal and Other News

Photo Boy | June 20, 2011 - 12:35 pm

Posted by Photo Boy

- Amy Winehouse’s week in rehab might not have been long enough. No kidding? [Huffington Post]

– Remember last week when I said Lady Gaga almost killed Clarence Clemons? About that… [Dlisted]

- Prince Harry is ’bout to bust a cap up in this bitch. More »

Heidi Montag in a Bikini is Back

The Superficial | June 20, 2011 - 12:08 am

It’s been over nine months since the Play-Doh Factory creation known as “Heidi Montag” has posed for a set of bikini photos, so here she is hosting a pool party at Wet Republic over the weekend because she’s broke and ankle scoops don’t grow on trees. Sure, her friends say there’s nothing wrong with them,… More »

Selena Gomez: ‘I Made Mistakes’

The Superficial | June 17, 2011 - 1:28 pm

For those of you playing the home game, here’s what Selena Gomez has admitted to in the past week that I’m not supposed to think are signs Justin Bieber immaculately put a baby in her:

Friday: Nausea.
Monday: Blood pressure issues.
Tuesday: Low iron.
Thursday: Junk food cravings.

More »

Britney Spears Needs to Stop Touring

The Superficial | June 17, 2011 - 10:22 am

“Yup, she’s smuggling bacon again. Sonofabitch.”

Britney Spears launched her Femme Fatale tour in Sacramento last night, and I seriously don’t get how the state allows her parents to shove her onstage like this. How is this legal, but I can’t have a diner staffed entirely by people with Down’s Syndrome? (You bet… More »

Selena Gomez is Craving Junk Food Now

The Superficial | June 16, 2011 - 3:49 pm

I’m 11.

Because announcing she’s suffering from nausea and low iron before motherly touching your belly during a public performance wasn’t enough, Selena Gomez is copping to junk food cravings and that her mom is by her side 24/7 now. People reports:

But referring to her “Supermom,” Gomez says she’s getting… More »

Joss Stone Almost Stabbed in Backseat of Fiat, ‘Prom Night All Over Again,’ Quips Sexy Blogger

The Superficial | June 15, 2011 - 11:43 am

For those of you just joining the Internet, Joss Stone was targeted in an insane kidnap/murder plot because apparently British celebrity news is out to make America’s look like bloody wankers this week. The Sun reports:

Cops found swords, rope and a body bag when they swooped on the pair at around 10am… More »

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