Weston Cage Did Karate Outside of a Restaurant

The Superficial / July 14, 2011

Taking a page from Mel Gibson’s Guide to Crazy Fighting – “Remember, your opponent might be invisible, and that’s where they hide the blowjobs.” – Weston Cage and his freshly shaven-head put on a karate show for the paparazzi last night because he really needs people to believe he’s a skilled martial artist who ca… More »

It’s Victoria’s Secret Angels in Spandex

The Superficial / July 13, 2011

Alright, who showed them my penis?
After a long day of delicately exploring such controversial topics as race riots, chloroforming your kid to death, Down babies and naming your son after your ex because Orlando Bloom is a wee little vagina-man, I thought it’d be nice to post something we all can agree on. Namely… More »

Ryan Reynolds is Dating Charlize Theron Now. Why Not?

The Superficial / July 13, 2011

Despite the fact Green Lantern should’ve been called Emerald Hate-Bang of The Eyes and Ears, Ryan Reynolds has somehow managed to land Charlize Theron, and the two are “exclusive” and very “hush-hush,” according to Us Weekly which is apparently written by Danny DeVito in L.A. Confidential now:
While the two haven’t been photographed together, a… More »

Okay, So Lady Gaga Might Have a Penis

The Superficial / July 12, 2011

Lady Gaga gave an impromptu performance at Arq in Sydney, Australia last night which I think might be a gay bar. Too early to tell. Anyway, she’s definitely packing something in her pants which makes me remember all those countless hours I you, definitely you, spent wondering if she really is a hermaphrodite. So, let&#8217… More »

The Duke and Duchess Grace America With Their Graceness

The Superficial / July 11, 2011

“We recolonize them at dawn. I’ll ready the churros.”
After their royal wedding distracted the world from America shooting Osama bin Laden in the face, the newly-named Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, Prince William and Kate Middleton, brought their North American visit to Los Angeles over the weekend where they gazed lovingly upon our fair… More »

Jennifer Aniston Made Justin Theroux Shave His Beard

The Superficial / July 8, 2011

When she wasn’t talking about Brad Pitt again – that’s how you know she has a movie coming out – Jennifer Aniston apparently found time to make Justin Theroux shave his beard off because the first rule of Ice Vagina Club is don’t talk about Ice Vagina Club. (Rule #2: No facial hair.) Granted, he… More »

Taylor Momsen is Still Doing That Lesbian Orgy Thing

The Superficial / July 7, 2011

Hey, guys, we just experienced some technical issues both on the site and my Internet connection because Comcast is a dick-fart, so while we fan out the flames, here’s Taylor Momsen performing in Barcelona last night where she’s still making out with chicks in underwear because she communes with the devil in a pillbox of… More »

Lady Gaga is Dying

The Superficial / July 7, 2011

Ian Halperin is promoting his new tell-all book about Lady Gaga that reveals absolutely nothing we didn’t already know about her eating disorder and being a crazy drug addict. Except it does explain why she wears 800 elaborate costumes a day, and surprisingly it’s not for attention or because of all those drugs she eat… More »

Casey Anthony Got Away With Murder

For those of you hiding under a rock, or purposefully avoiding the Casey Anthony circus like I’ve been, she’s just been cleared of all murder charges, but found guilty of giving false information to police officers which she’s already being credited for time served. Apparently, it’s a great time to kill your kid in America… More »

Todd Phillips Really is Banging Paris Hilton

The Superficial / July 5, 2011

When I first heard the rumors that Paris Hilton was hooking up with The Hangover director Todd Phillips, I just assumed it was her people trying to drum up publicity (Pregnancy rumors, anyone?) for her reality show that no one wants to watch. So, imagine my surprise to see them together over the holiday weekend… More »

Weston Cage’s Wife Kicked His Ass Now

The Superficial / July 5, 2011

On Sunday night, Weston Cage claimed that the 13 punches to the face he took from his babysitter only happened because he was one drink short of death and took a cheap shot to the balls, according to TMZ:
He says that if he had a few more drinks, his “loyal and beautiful wife and… More »

Kim Kardashian is Wearing Adult Diapers

I’ve already made my guess known, but because it’s the Friday before a holiday weekend, and I should’ve remembered I had this feature for Rosie vs. Megan Fox post (Megan won by a landslide by the way.), here’s a little democracy so we can narrow down just what in the hell is happening to KimMore »

Lindsay Lohan is a Victim of Weird Shoes and Husband Jumping

The Superficial / July 1, 2011

BLARRRFF! … It was the shoes!”
Hours after being released from the day spa the California legal system calls “house arrest,” Lindsay Lohan was spotted stumbling out of the Lexington Social House, so naturally it was only a matter of time until the bullshit parade started. Like clockwork, she posted a picture of her shoeMore »

Cameron Diaz Should Stop Making Faces, Any Face, and Other News

Photo Boy / July 1, 2011

Posted By Photo Boy
- Blake Lively wore Jennifer Love Hewitt’s dress first. Who looked bett- BAHAHA! [TooFab]
- Shia LaBeouf tries to stifle the wrath of the Maple Christ. [Just Jared]
– While Megan Fox tries to get David Silver off his ass. [Dlisted]
– SPOILER ALERT! There will be a yellow cab i… More »

Selena Gomez is Cheating on Justin Bieber With Shia LaBeouf

The Superficial / June 30, 2011

Someone better scoop out that Maple Fetus and make room for THE BEEF.
Despite literally risking life and limb for a ride on the Christ Coaster, Selena Gomez apparently goes goo-goo eyed for Shia LaBeouf and doesn’t care who knows it as evidenced by a video of her meeting him backstage at The Today ShowMore »

Octomom Hates Each Of Her 14 Kids

The Superficial / June 30, 2011

“You can’t even fit them in one picture! Assholes, right?”
In a disturbingly frank interview, Octomom Nadya Suleman single-uterusly manages to make it public record that she “hates” every single one of her 14 kids, even though I think I’ve seen her around them exactly once, and regrets even having them. So, basically, welcome to… More »

Brigitte Nielsen’s Still Got it? And Other News

Photo Boy / June 30, 2011

Posted by Photo Boy
- Gwyneth Paltrow believes waterboarding relieves stress. [Huffington Post]
– But nobody really cares what crap falls out of her mouth when she’s wearing this. [TooFab]
- RuPaul to Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: “Seriously, you aren’t even gonna try to hide that dong?” [Dlisted]
- Justin Timberlake is buying MySpace. No,… More »

Jonathan Rhys Meyers Attempted Suicide

The Superficial / June 30, 2011

“I was merely attempting palaver with the dead. Leave me to my dark arts!”
Tudors star Jonathan Rhys Meyers apparently attempted suicide Tuesday night, according to The Sun:
Paramedics answering a 999 call found him slumped on the floor. But they had to call police after he refused treatment at the scene for more tha… More »

Lindsay Lohan Got Hammered Last Night

The Superficial / June 30, 2011

“Did you.. did you see all those bottles? Iwanttomarrymymouth.”
Immediately after her house arrest ended yesterday Lindsay Lohan told her friends she’s afraid to go out and just wants to focus on her community service then stay at home reading a book with her sister. So, of course, here she is absolutely hammered-balls with EmileMore »

JWoww is a Beautiful Athlete

The Superficial / June 29, 2011

I was about to say, KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE! But it looks like someone already tried.
Adding… there’s really nothing quite like a smoke after a good, healthy jog, is there? Later, JWoww probably had sex using a condom then dumped the contents into her vagina afterward because it’s fun to make everything… More »

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