Courtney Stodden Isn’t 16. I’ll Start There.

The Superficial | August 16, 2011 - 11:15 am

For those of you just joining the Internet, people lost their shit last month when Horace from Lost (Real name: Doug Hutchison) somehow married “16” year old Courtney Stodden, an aspiring model from Washington hence this entire production. I say 16 in sarcastic quotes because she just posted a picture of herself to Twitter ala… More »

This is Zack Kehayov, Mr. Tara Reid

The Superficial | August 15, 2011 - 4:24 pm

Because this day has basically been nothing but bikini and Tara Reid posts – And Heidi Klum topless. – here’s the first look at her new husband Zack Kehayov because Tara somehow already sold the wedding photos to Life & Style for their Wednesday issue. The wedding that just happened yesterday, mind you, the same… More »

Here’s Brooke Hogan Naked in a Cage

The Superficial | August 12, 2011 - 12:05 pm

You may find this hard to believe, but apparently someone walked up to Brooke Hogan and said, “So, listen, I’ve got this old dog cage just lying around and want to take pictures of you naked in it for publicity,” and she said, “Sure!” From there it was a simple matter of finding the right… More »

Zack Morris Got Engaged Three Months After His Divorce, Why Not?

The Superficial | August 11, 2011 - 9:27 am

Sadly, this story has nothing to do with Kelly Kapowski. I’ve toyed with your emotions, I know. People reports:

Gosselaar, 36, whose divorce from Lisa Ann Russell was finalized in May, proposed recently with a 5 carat cushion-cut diamond ring, custom designed by his friend, jeweler Neil Lane.
“He couldn’t wait to… More »

Someone Made a Nude Statue of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez

The Superficial | August 9, 2011 - 5:23 pm

So, remember in the Old Testament when God got all pissed off about people building golden idols and worshiping them? I’m sure this is nothing like that. Via Splash News:

US artist Daniel Edwards has unveiled this nude portrait of pop stars Justin Bieber and girlfriend Selena Gomez. It depicts the teenagers almostMore »

Tricia Helfer Riding a Hog and Other News

Photo Boy | August 9, 2011 - 1:30 pm

Posted by Photo Boy

- Adam Levine and Christina Aguilera will hate-bang your eyes and ears now. [Huffington Post]

- Gavin DeGraw learned a valuable lesson about writing theme songs for One Tree Hill. [Dlisted]

– Don’t try heckling Aziz Ansari. [Lainey Gossip]

- Julianne Hough and… More »

Why Hello, Lacey Schwimmer.. No, Over Here and Other News

Photo Boy | August 8, 2011 - 10:39 am

Posted by Photo Boy

- Rob McElhenney got fat for It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia for reasons that sound awfully hipster-ish, but I’ll let it slide for now. [Huffington Post]

- Jane Fonda on the other hand, ain’t having it. [Starpulse]

- David Beckham’s daughter will forever be in… More »

Kanye West: ‘Stop Calling Me Hitler, I’m Michael Jordan!’

The Superficial | August 8, 2011 - 10:38 am

Do I even need a setup here? Kanye West opened his mouth and crazy come out in a heavy ego sauce. Via TMZ:

“I walk through the hotel and I walk down the street, and people look at me like I’m fucking insane … like I’m Hitler.”
He continued, “One day theMore »

Nicki Minaj’s Nipple Slip Has Destroyed The Very Fabric Of Our Society

The Superficial | August 5, 2011 - 1:36 pm

While performing on Good Morning America, Nicki Minaj’s nipple popped out, and ABC didn’t catch it in time for the east coast feed prompting the Parents Television Council to commence its Puritanical pants-shitting because anyone under 80 actually watches GMA and isn’t trained to skip the musical performances by now. – “Rock n’ roll, you… More »

Olivia Munn, The Power of Padded Bras and Other News

Photo Boy | August 5, 2011 - 12:55 pm

Posted by Photo Boy

- Roseanne Barr is running for President. Until they cancel her reality show about nuts. [Huffington Post]

- Octomom hates penis also, as it turns out. [Dlisted]

– Did Blake Lively get plastic surgery? Start your investigation here, but for God’s sake, only in the… More »

Tom Brady is The Prettiest Quarterback in All The Land

The Superficial | August 4, 2011 - 2:54 pm

Apparently season ticket holders get to watch the New England Patriots have an extra special practice just for them, so here’s Tom Brady at Gillette Stadium last night giving the crowd some sizzle as he prances and preens knowing full well their eyes are undressing him gleefully, like a man alone with his waterslide. Later,… More »

Henry Cavill is Dressed Like Superman, Have You Heard?

The Superficial | August 4, 2011 - 1:00 pm

If you logged onto this global porn delivery device we call the “Internet” today, you’ve probably been buffeted in the face with this first image of Henry Cavill as Superman in the Zack Snyder eventual clusterfuck Superman: Man of Steel. So here’s that image again because I’m dedicated to exciting, fresh content which is why… More »

Oh Good, It’s Bethenny Frankel’s Panties and Other News

Photo Boy | August 4, 2011 - 12:00 pm

Posted by Photo Boy

- Beyonce knows that this token friend thing goes both ways. [Huffington Post]

- Nicole Kidman looks freakishly hot here. [Dlisted]

- Sandra Bullock keeps dressing her kid up like Morgan Freeman in Driving Miss Daisy. I’m just saying. [Lainey Gossip]

- AubreyMore »

Gwyneth Paltrow is Talking About Gwyneth Paltrow Again

The Superficial | August 3, 2011 - 3:47 pm

Gwyneth Paltrow is the cover interview for the September issue of ELLE who refer to her as “The Spellbinder” because she’s so “unexpectedly funny” and not at all as insipid as every single word that comes out of her mouth suggests. Words like these for example:

On her famous friends coming to seeMore »

Miranda Kerr Doing What God Handmade Her To Do and Other News

Photo Boy | August 3, 2011 - 12:46 pm

Posted by Photo Boy

- James Spader is terrifying the cast of The Office. [Huffington Post]

- George Clooney is banging Stacey Keibler now. [Dlisted]

- Taryn Manning feels like she deserves an Oscar. Wait, who? [Lainey Gossip]

- Selena Gomez vs. Never Going To Be Clooney’sMore »

Kendra is a Hypocrite

The Superficial | August 3, 2011 - 11:56 am

Last year, Kendra Wilkinson released her memoirs Sliding Into Home which detailed having sex with Hugh Hefner, but only after Holly Madison popped him full of Viagra and properly fluffed him for the rest of the girls. In fact, Kendra wrote these exact words via Celebitchy:

One of the girls asked me if… More »

Matt Damon Defends Teachers Against Asshats With Admittedly Nice Boobs

The Superficial | August 2, 2011 - 6:45 pm

Matt Damon knows what I’m talking about. Bourne Identity won’t even look down.

Apparently Matt Damon did more than just hilariously spray himself in the face with suntan lotion at the Save Our Schools rally in Washington D.C. yesterday – Frankly, I would’ve dusted off my hands and proclaimed my work done. -… More »

Jennifer Lopez Has a ‘Post-Split’ Interview In Vanity Fair Already

The Superficial | August 2, 2011 - 11:34 am

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony announced their split just two weeks ago, and ever since it’s been a carefully, calculated PR battle on her end to paint herself as the victim of a “controlling” anorexic Latino who, at best, weighs 90 pounds soaking wet with delicious salsa. So, of course, Jennifer Lopez somehow already gave… More »

Rihanna: Drunken Queen of Barbados

The Superficial | August 1, 2011 - 11:58 am

While most of us woke up and went to work this morning, Rihanna got up, slid into this a pile of ruby fishnets and started downing rum out of a cup she found lying next to a chicken coop. From there, it was only another a matter of more rum until she thought simulating doggyMore »

Why Doesn’t Selena Gomez Look More Pregnantish?

The Superficial | July 29, 2011 - 4:30 pm

Last month, I spent what some might call an “unhealthy, if not pathological” amount of time trying to prove Justin Bieber put a baby in Selena Gomez. And others might say I obsessively made charts and graphs and graphs of charts before delivering babies in the San Fernando Valley for an entire week under an… More »

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