Lindsay Lohan Actually Found Work

The Superficial / September 26, 2011

When Lindsay Lohan went to Milan instead of completing her community service, the last thing I expected her to do was find any type of work that doesn’t (explicitly) involve pleasuring married, wealthy businessmen. Or “marks,” as Dina calls them. Anyway, here’s Lindsay modelling for German designer Philipp Plein who actually stared deep into theMore »

Kim Delaney Really Respects The Troops

The Superficial / September 23, 2011

Army Wives star Kim Delaney was invited to the Liberty Medal Award presentation for former defense secretary Robert Gates last night where she felt it’d be best to honor the brave men and women fighting for our freedom by being drunk and/or high as shit while conflating her fictional role on Army Wives with their… More »

Don Draper’s Back, Baby

The Superficial / September 23, 2011

That was supposed to be ZZ Top’s “Sharp Dressed Man.” I swear to God.
Photo: Pacific Coast News, Splash NewsMore »

Kirstie Alley Refused To Have ‘Fat Sex’

The Superficial / September 22, 2011

An allegedly 100 pounds lighter Kirstie Alley is opening up about her dramatic weight loss and how it’s improved her sex life because fat people know having sex with them is freakish and unnatural yet still happens because men will stick their penis in anything. It’s our superpower. Via The Daily Mail:
The former DancingMore »

Beyonce Wore This And Other News

Photo Boy / September 22, 2011

Posted by Photo Boy
– Just follow Miranda Kerr’s lead, Bey, and all will be well. [Popoholic]
- Hugh Jackman broke a wrestler’s jaw (this is not true at all) during a publicity stunt for his movie about boxing robots. [Huffington Post]
- LeAnn Rimes thinks this fat bitch could really work on the a… More »

Pippa Flashed Her Knickers, She Did

The Superficial / September 22, 2011

Ever since we discovered her “ass” was an elaborate ruse by the British to socialize our medicine and stop us from executing black guys – Suck it, Limeys!Pippa Middleton hasn’t been on the site much lately. So here she is flashing her panties at a London Fashion Week show which has set the… More »

Who Ordered The Lindsay Ellingson? And Other News

Photo Boy / September 21, 2011

Posted by Photo Boy
- Levi Johnston calls out the Palins for being media whores while whoring his book to the media. [Huffington Post]
- Steve-O broke his nose on Mike Tyson’s fist. [Dlisted]
- Sarah Jessica Parker’s terrible movies are finally turning even women who support her solely because she’s unattractive, yet inexplicably famou… More »

Poppy Montgomery Can Cook Without Pants On, Too

The Superficial / September 20, 2011

Ala Chrissy Teigen, here’s Without a Trace, and now Unforgettable, star Poppy Montgomery posing for… More »

Kim Kardashian Dressed Like Slave Leia For Kanye

Adam / September 16, 2011

Apparently Kanye West tried to pitch a Muppet comedy show called Alligator Boots to Comedy Central and talked Kim Kardashian into appearing in the pilot wearing Princess Leia’s bikini from Return of the Jedi. And before anyone thinks this was a pimp move on his part, it was literally as easy as saying: “I’m a… More »

What The Hell Did PETA Do To My Kelly Brook’s Face?

The Superficial / September 15, 2011

Here’s Kelly Brook posing for PETA as some sort of snakewoman to stop.. snake abuse? (Way too late for that. Adding… really? Snakes? We’re protecting snakes now?) And if you’re wondering why they had to Photoshop the ever-living crap out of it, that’s because PETA let resident vegetarian Bryan Adams – Yes, that Bryan Adams. More »

Nicolas Cage and The Fudgesicle Bandit

The Superficial / September 15, 2011

“To this day, I’ll never understand why he only left the Creamsicles… *chokes up* Can we do this another time?”
While promoting his new movie Trespass at the Toronto Film Festival, Nicolas Cage opened up about the time an intruder broke into his house and violated the sanctity of his frozen treats. Via Huffington Post:… More »

Scarlett Johansson Has Leaked Photos Now ‘Allegedly’

The Superficial / September 14, 2011

Two nude leaked photos (Don’t worry, they’re censored so you won’t lose your mediocre job providing for your mediocre family. See how much I care?) alleged to be Scarlett Johansson are making the Internet rounds this morning. Although, I swear to God the butt one was passed around earlier in the year, only now it… More »

‘The Snozzberries Taste Like Snozzberries!’

The Superficial / September 14, 2011

Oompa Loompa, doopity doo,
I’ve got another story for you,
What do you get when you’re feeling depressed?
Turns out there’s an alien living in you,
How do I get him out of my chest?
You must buy an eMeter, you must buy an eMeter,
You must buy an… e… meterrrrrrr…
Oompa Loompa, doopityyyyy DOOOOOO!!!!
More »

Blake Lively’s Hiding a Bikini Under There

The Superficial / September 13, 2011

Here’s Blake Lively shooting some new scenes for Savages, a movie in which her character seems to constantly wear bikinis, so I’d just like to state for the record that, yes, I wrote it. I’d get into why IMDB lists Shane Salerno and Don Winslow as the writers, but trust me when I say it&#8217… More »

Madonna Wouldn’t Let TIFF Volunteers Look at Her

The Superficial / September 13, 2011

Following on the heels of Hydrangea-Gate, Madonna was her sunny, corpse-like self again yesterday when she made volunteers at the Toronto International Film Festival stare at the fucking wall because she didn’t want them looking at her when she walked past them. No, really. The Globe and Mail reports:
It was a bit of a… More »

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Just Because, and Other News

Photo Boy / September 13, 2011

Posted by Photo Boy
- Tyler Perry earned more money than anyone in Hollywood last year. [Huffington Post]
- Tom Hardy doesn’t understand that the fake controversy about his sexuality is supposed to surface when promoting a big film, not when shooting it. [Dlisted]
- Jennifer Westfeldt makes sure Jon Hamm’s penis is free and… More »

Jessica Alba is Lactating and Other News

Photo Boy / September 12, 2011

Posted by Photo Boy
- Jessica Simpson’s stalker wrote a tell-all book about his make believe love affair with her. [Huffington Post]
- Serena Williams is “not the one.” [Dlisted]
– And she’s not the only “not the one.” Spontaneous athlete rage always makes sense, right? [Bleacher Report]
- George Clooney drank Brangelina under… More »

The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Night and Other News

Photo Boy / September 9, 2011

Posted by Photo Boy
- Oprah’s plan to keep her career alive/start up OWN begins with live-chatting on Facebook. Yup, that should do it. [Huffington Post]
– According to The National Enquirer, Will Smith is gay now, so you know it’s true. [Dlisted]
- Elisabetta Canalis on her break-up with George Clooney: “He no like-a… More »

And Tara Reid Just Started World War III

The Superficial / September 8, 2011

Fresh off of getting drunk Tuesday night, here’s Tara Reid drunk last night where she thought it’d be an awesome idea to continually expose her midsection because apparently we don’t go to war with England enough. So hopefully they’ll start this thing now, and that way President-elect Rick Perry can try to pray our enemie… More »

Of Course There’s a Topless Amy Winehouse Memorial Statue

The Superficial / September 8, 2011

Taking time off from such groundbreaking works as “Justin Bieber & Selena Gomez’s Love is a Goose Dick Inside an Armadillo” and “Maple Bieber Wiener: A Looney Tunes Retrospective,” artist Daniel Edwards has now drawn up plans for a Amy Winehouse bust at the behest of some British people he met on Facebook. (Read: Voice… More »

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