Red Carpet

Will Arnett Brought His New Girlfriend To A Golden Globes After Party

The Superficial | January 13, 2015 - 2:15 pm

Despite the fact that his ex-wife was the co-prominent host of the evening, Will Arnett brought his new girlfriend Arielle Vanderberg to a Golden Globes after party which I want to let slide because BoJack Horseman was fucking incredible, but Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is the most offensive crime against humanity in recent history. So… More »

Sean Penn’s Haiti Gala Had An Odd Guest List

The Superficial | January 13, 2015 - 8:55 am

Because the Golden Globes, it’s 47 after parties, and Johnny Depp’s Makeout Emporium weren’t enough, Sean Penn threw his annual Help Haiti Home Gala over the weekend featuring star-studded celebrities and a special guest who you’ll notice isn’t in any of the group shots or ever once near Sean Penn. However, this old pervert was… More »

The Golden Globes After Parties We Missed

The Superficial | January 12, 2015 - 3:00 pm

And to conclude our coverage of the Golden Globes, here are a bunch of celebrities at 18 different after parties celebrating themselves for starring in a three-hour long national broadcast celebrating themselves because they truly are our unsung heroes. Would it kill everybody to stop and talk about them more? They work totes hard.
THEMore »

Johnny Depp & Amber Heard Belong Together Like A Scarf And 18 Bolo Ties

The Superficial | January 12, 2015 - 1:33 pm

After seven years writing the site, I still have no idea what the hell The Art of Elysium Gala is, and if you put me on the spot, I’d say it’s some sort of event specifically designed to be forgotten about not even 24 hours later because of the Golden Globes. Except this year, JohnnyMore »

The 2015 Golden Globe Awards

The Superficial | January 12, 2015 - 12:36 pm

I probably should’ve checked if there are any more awards show this month because here’s the rest of The 2015 Golden Globes that we may or may not have blown 75% of our photo budget on already. In our defense, it has boobs in it, and a Ruth Wilson pic that justifies whatever it is… More »

Golden Globes: Good God, Jessica Chastain

The Superficial | January 12, 2015 - 11:52 am

Here’s Jessica Chastain looking on point at last night’s Golden Globes after spending the week talking about how difficult high school was for her and sharing an old high school photo to inspire others. Which was a powerful message to young girls that anyone’s dreams can come true provided you’re already a beautiful redhead your… More »

Golden Globes: Kate Hudson Gets Her Own Post

The Superficial | January 12, 2015 - 10:35 am

Most of you don’t come to this site to hear moving, “totally unprepared” acceptance speeches – We cry about those after hours. (OMG, Amy Adams, you guys.) – so here’s Kate Hudson looking goddamn fantastic at the Golden Globes last night because she’s single now and famous penises aren’t going to just fall right into… More »

Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Pregnant Again

Photo Boy | January 8, 2015 - 11:30 am

Posted by Photo Boy
For most of her life, Jennifer Love Hewitt had a singular purpose. A purpose that made her believe telling guys she preselected three engagement rings for them to choose from wouldn’t send them sprinting back to exes who have drug problems. But through the magic of struggling actors who’ll do anything… More »

Giada De Laurentiis Denies Banging Every Guy She’s Ever Been On TV With

Photo Boy | January 8, 2015 - 10:00 am

Posted by Photo Boy
Star magazine would publish a cover photo of you in a coffin if they thought you’d buy it, so it’s not a stretch to think when they heard Giada De Laurentiis’ was getting divorced they went “Okay, let’s start with ‘she fucked everyone,’ then work our way backwards from there.” Via… More »

Blake Lively Gave Birth

Photo Boy | January 6, 2015 - 10:00 am

“You’re gonna be skinny again now, right baby?”
“You’re gonna make a movie that doesn’t tank now, right baby?”
Posted by Photo Boy
I’ll admit I’ve never been as preoccupied with Blake Lively as Fish so terrifyingly is, but she shat out Ryan Reynolds’ kid over the holidays and I had this old gallery of… More »

Charli XCX’s Breasts Are Back

The Superficial | December 19, 2014 - 1:12 pm

I still don’t know who or what a Charli XCX is, or why her name is a Bratz doll, but I do know you people will click the hell out of her breasts, so here they are at the Jingle Ball in Chicago last night because I show you the occasional boob, and then you… More »

Kate Upton Wins ‘Sexiest Woman’ At PEOPLE Awards

The Superficial | December 19, 2014 - 11:41 am

Kate Upton won the PEOPLE Magazine Award for Sexiest Woman last night and couldn’t look more boring doing it, but you’ll notice that didn’t stop me from posting about it, or PEOPLE from finding literally anybody else, because we both bow at the altar of SEO. It is the one true God. *slices open palm,More »

Jennifer Aniston Doesn’t Get Why Everyone’s Obsessed With Her Body

Photo Boy | December 16, 2014 - 1:00 pm

Posted by Photo Boy

Fish and I have historically¹ held differing opinions on Jennifer Aniston. I find her attractive, while he prefers the company of his illustrated books and his things. *watches him rearrange figurines on his desk for Tuesday positioning* What we both agree on, however, is that it’s kind of ridiculous… More »

What The Hell Is A Charli XCX?

The Superficial | December 16, 2014 - 9:30 am

I have no idea who or what a Charli XCX is, but everybody apparently lost their shit yesterday over her outfits for the Billboard Women In Music Luncheon and Jingle Ball So here are those for you to potentially misplace your own shit over and then maybe have a little treasure hunt trying to find… More »

A Child Has Shed Its Hayden Panettiere Cocoon

The Superficial | December 15, 2014 - 10:21 am

Fun Fact: This pic is from August. Four months ago August. She’s dead. She died.
In defiance of the laws of physics, Hayden Panettiere gave birth to a baby girl, Kaya Evdokia, last Tuesday, according to PEOPLE, who spoke very little about Hayden’s current state because housewives don’t want to read about a severed torso… More »

Here’s Kim Kardashian’s Naked Butt Painted By A Man’s Penis

The Superficial | December 12, 2014 - 11:56 am

Kim Kardashian’s naked butt on the cover of Paper Magazine will forever be an iconic image of our generation (and the harbinger of its destruction), so why wouldn’t it be immortalized in art? Which brings us to Danish artist Uwe Max Jensen who painted Kim’s now infamous cover using his penis as the brush. Yup. More »

Ariana Grande Makes People Carry Her Like A Baby

The Superficial | December 11, 2014 - 11:00 am

Ariana Grande’s reputation for being a tiny Mariah Carey is no secret except now’s the part where the rumors of her demands have reached almost Tracy Jordan-like levels. And I believe every single one of them. Life & Style reports:
“Her new rule is that she has to be carried — literally carried like a… More »

Angelina Jolie Is A ‘Minimally Talented Spoiled Brat’: The Sony Emails

The Superficial | December 10, 2014 - 12:19 pm

I work in the media, so it’s easy to forget that people actually live rich, full lives (Sometimes even outdoors. The actual outside!) where they don’t obsess over the tiniest minutiae like studio infighting and how badly Aaron Sorkin wants to feel Tom Cruise shove an iPhone 6 up his ass. Which brings me to… More »

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 12.9.14

Photo Boy | December 9, 2014 - 3:30 pm

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which leads with Charlotte McKinney again, this time on the set of Joe Dirt 2, which you can either take as a not-very-subtle indictment of Hollywood’s inability to produce anything original, or just boobs. We’ve also got Sam Micelli because I know most of you don’t really care… More »

Taylor Swift Made Out With Karlie Kloss ‘Allegedly’

The Superficial | December 8, 2014 - 12:45 pm

While I was too busy covering real stories like how Hilary Duff’s body’s going to be found in a wedding gown beneath Aaron Carter’s shed, the Internet was losing its shit over a photo of Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss making out (below) even though they basically got married during the Victoria’s Secret Fashion ShowMore »

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