Red Carpet

Lindsay & The Amazing Technicolor Dream Nipple

By: The Superficial / October 3, 2014
Here's Lindsay Lohan at the after-party for the opening night of "Speed-the-Plow" where she managed to only forget one line and was deemed "competent without being exciting." Which is pretty fucking amazing for Lindsay Lohan considering not a single review contained the words, "And then she tried to blow everyone." However, she did wear a… More »


Kate Winslet Never ‘Snogged’ Leonardo DiCaprio

By: The Superficial / October 3, 2014
Kate Winslet was younger than 23 when she filmed Titanic, so based on everything we know about this world, Leonardo DiCaprio was required to have sex with her by law. But so far this week we've seen George Clooney get married and Mila Kunis birth Ashton Kutcher's baby, so somebody's traveling through time and fucking… More »


Mila Kunis & Ashton Kutcher Are Already Being Assholes About Their Kid

By: The Superficial / October 3, 2014
Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher's baby has barely been alive for three days and already they're not so subtly bitching about the paparazzi while revealing their daughter's name. People reports: “Mila and I would like to welcome Wyatt Isabelle Kutcher to the world. May your life be filled with wonder, love, laughter, health, happiness, curiosity,… More »


Justin Bieber Ditched Selena Gomez For The Kardashians

By: The Superficial / October 1, 2014
So here's how Selena Gomez's trip to Paris Fashion Week went: 1. Before, or as soon as, she got there, Justin Bieber checked into a hotel with Kendall Jenner. 2. When she showed up to the same show as him later, he spent the entire time with the Kardashians. And 3. When she gave u… More »


Ben Affleck’s Penis Is In A Movie

By: The Superficial / October 1, 2014
Ben Affleck can't do a single interview without being asked about Batman, but somehow he managed to crack the Internet's secret code and started talking about his dick which is like dangling a set of keys in front of us. I don't even know where I am anymore that's how distracted how I am. Whose… More »


Emily Ratajkowski & Reese Witherspoon In Red

By: The Superficial / September 29, 2014
You're probably thinking it's a dick move to put Reese Witherspoon in a gallery with Emily Ratajkowski, and that I'm only doing it to make another joke about her being pregnant. And you're right, but before I make the voices stop, I'd like to take a second to compliment Reese for holding her own eve… More »


Anna Kendrick & Cara Delevingne Are Your New Fappening

By: The Superficial / September 29, 2014
So it looks like we're going to do this every weekend now because Anna Kendrick and Cara Delevingne are your latest celebrities to have nude photos leaked online by "hackers," according to Gawker, who also reports a bunch of other people were in this batch except I have no idea who half of them are:… More »


The Emma Watson Nude Photo Threat Was A Bullshit Marketing Stunt

By: The Superficial / September 24, 2014
Over the past few days, the Internet lit up with a story that members of 4chan were allegedly threatening to release nude photos of Emma Watson in retaliation for her speech on feminism at the U.N. It even got my attention because if this shit is true (which it wasn't), it's pretty fucked up. And… More »


On Emma Watson And The Shitheads Threatening Her With The Fappening

By: The Superficial / September 23, 2014
UPDATE: At midnight Wednesday ET, Rantic (which is apparently a fake marketing company) took credit for this viral stunt which was supposedly aimed to discredit and shutdown 4chan. I have no clue anymore. Let me start out by defining my absolutely questionable relationship with The Fappening, so I look slightly less hypocritical here. For starters,… More »


This Is Jennifer Lopez’s New Stage Outfit

By: The Superficial / September 22, 2014
Jennifer Lopez has to compete with performers half her age, or in Ariana Grande's case, ones that could be her (great) granddaughter. And to her credit, she's already tackled the problem head on by making ass videos with Iggy Azalea. That's ingenuity in it's purest form. That said, here's Jennifer Lopez performing in Singapore i… More »


Ariana Grande’s Life Coach Quit

By: The Superficial / September 22, 2014
Seen here performing at The iHeart Radio Music Festival over the weekend, Ariana Grande is looking more and more like an out-of-control diva who hopes her fans fucking die because now comes word that her life coach quit months ago after getting tired of her shit. Page Six reports: We’re told that the 21-year-old rising… More »


The Other Models Are Mean To Kendall™, You Guys

By: The Superficial / September 18, 2014
Kendall Jenner genuinely believes her modeling career is solely the result of "hard work," and being like super pretty, but even models whose diets consist of a sprig of kale and heroin know it's because someone who fell out of the same vagina as her got peed on in a sex tape. In Touch WeeklyMore »


Rihanna To CBS: ‘F*ck You For Pulling My Song’

By: The Superficial / September 16, 2014
In light of the Ray Rice incident, CBS decided to pull "Run This Town" from Thursday Night Football because Rihanna was the victim of domestic violence, so let's make her feel ashamed to have her music broadcast before the sacred and holy communion of NFL football. Except now they want to play her song thi… More »


Kanye Is A ‘Married, Christian Man,’ You Assholes

By: The Superficial / September 16, 2014
Kanye West has found himself in some shit after not once, but twice, demanding everyone at his shows stand up during his performance of "Good Life." Which seems innocuous until you realize there were handicapped people in the audience who had to literally verify their disability before Kanye would go on. At one point, he… More »


Rihanna Song Pulled From Thursday Night Football

By: The Superficial / September 12, 2014
"HAHAHAHA! I'mma haunt you forever." Thanks to Chris Brown beating the shit out of Rihanna for looking at his phone, CBS decided to pull "Run This Town" from last night's Thursday Night Football so people won't have to think about the NFL only giving Ray Rice a two-game suspension for punching out his fiance and… More »


Bertney And The No Good, Gosh Darn Secret That Wouldn’t Stay Secret

By: The Superficial / September 10, 2014
Bertney And The No Good, Gosh Darn Secret That Wouldn't Stay A Secret A Learning Story For Junior Secret Keepers A long time ago Bertney got to be in a real, live movie. She doesn't remember much about it, and has never seen it on account of it not being cartoons, but she does rememberMore »


Taylor Swift Is Writing Songs About Katy Perry Now

By: The Superficial / September 9, 2014
Taylor Swift's schtick used to be writing songs about jerk boys who didn't make every single date like The Notebook. But she's evolved as an artist (and a woman... nope, that wasn't creepy) and has moved on to writing songs about other pop stars who steal her roadies or some stupid bullshit. I honestly don't… More »


Lindsay Lohan’s Stealing Apps Now

By: The Superficial / September 8, 2014
Lindsay Lohan will steal anything that isn't nailed down, and even then, there's still a 50/50 chance she'll melt through the nail with her freckle acid. But I'm not here to talk science, I'm here to talk about Lindsay stealing some dude's idea for an app and getting sued into next week for it. Page… More »


Gwyneth Paltrow’s Gone Full Jew

By: The Superficial / September 5, 2014
After once referring to herself as a "Jewish princess" due to her family belonging to a Eastern European rabbinical dynasty, Gwyneth Paltrow has apparently stopped dicking around with Kabbalah and fully converted to Judaism. And before someone makes a joke about how she just wants to keep working in Hollywood, I'll have you know Gwyneth… More »


Daisy Lowe Won The GQ Men of The Year Awards

By: The Superficial / September 3, 2014
You might hear some talk about some other woman winning at The GQ Men of The Year Awards in London last night, but that information is bullshit because Daisy Lowe's breasts destroyed anything and everything in their path. One of them even controls Parliament now. Or will once they're aware of my Doomsday Device. Photo… More »


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