Red Carpet

AMAs: Kendall & Kylie Brought The ‘Squatch

By: The Superficial / November 24, 2014

Full Disclosure: I’ve got another giant-ass post to write about Bill Cosby, so I’m literally just throwing AMAs pics in your face starting with the least relevant and working my way up. Which is probably the greatest compliment I’ll ever give the Kardashians because I posted Kylie, Kendall and Khloe after Bleona Qereti and immediately… More »


AMAs: What The Hell Is A Bleona Qereti?

By: The Superficial / November 24, 2014

According to Wikipedia, Bleona Qereti is the “Madonna of Albania” and a reality TV person on Bravo’s Euros of Hollywood. I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that information, but let the record show that I tried to get to know a woman first before yelling, “You sure got nice bewbs!” inevitably… More »


Gwyneth Paltrow Took A Run At Martha Stewart, She Missed

By: The Superficial / November 21, 2014

Back in October, Martha Stewart dropped a nuclear pie bomb on Gwyneth Paltrow with a recipe titled “Conscious Coupling” complete with a description that took the piss right out of Gwyneth’s divorce. It was a laser-guided strike expected of someone who owns a goddamn drone. But now, a month and a half later, Gwyneth Paltrow… More »


Kim Kardashian Was Clenching Her Butt, You Guys, It Wasn’t Photoshop

By: The Superficial / November 18, 2014

Kim Kardashian naked ass butt pussy” is still a huge search term right now (Never change, Internet.), so here she is telling an Australian talk show that her nude photo shoot for Paper is not the product of Photoshop, but of muscular clenching which almost always turns butts into smooth, spherical half-globes. Everyone knows that. More »


Someone Invited Jessica Simpson To ‘The Hunger Games’ Premiere

By: The Superficial / November 18, 2014

The Hunger Games is about a dystopian future where the rich eat all of the food leaving the poor to starve unless they shoot each other in the dicks with bows and arrows. Those words also describe every Tuesday night at the Chili’s near Jessica Simpson‘s house. Are you seeing the irony now? More »


The 2014 GOOP Gift Guide Is Quintessential GOOP

By: The Superficial / November 17, 2014

We’re beginning our initial descent into the maw of the holiday beast where we’ll be slowly digested over the course of the next six weeks. So to speed up that process, here’s the 2014 GOOP Gift Guide which promises to try and stay under $100, yet immediately starts with a $285 zipper wallet that some… More »


ANGELINA JOLIE’S BEWBS!!!!!!!!!!!!

By: The Superficial / November 17, 2014

As advertised in the classiest headline of your life, here are Angelina Jolie’s breasts at the Hollywood Film Awards where, granted, they’re not a naked, Photoshopped FUPA – I’m sorry, squelchy pudendum. – I know for a fact they still have enough Internet juice in them to break something. Perhaps a small Croatian cat blog. More »


Emily Ratajkowski’s Breasts Deserve A Post

By: The Superficial / November 17, 2014

I almost just tossed these pics of Emily Ratajkowski’s breasts at the Hollywood Film Awards into the drunk Johnny Depp post and said something like, “Haha, wouldn’t it have been better posted if I talked about these, you guys?” But then I realized her breasts are people, too, and deserve their own post. So a… More »


Katy Perry’s Boyfriend Wants To Crowdfund A Booty Onto Taylor Swift

By: The Superficial / November 13, 2014

Despite promising myself an ass hiatus after yesterday’s 2014 Buttella Festival, I still have precious SEO to milk into my mouth, so here’s Katy Perry‘s boyfriend publicly insulting the spot where Taylor Swift‘s butt should be:

Get Taylor Swift A Booty https://t.co/RpkB8JExSV— BABY DADDY (@diplo) November 12, 2014

As for… More »


Those Are Khloe Kardashian’s Nipples

By: The Superficial / November 10, 2014

I used up all my word juice on the Bertney post, so for these pics of Khloe Kardashian‘s nipples at French Montana‘s birthday party all you get is me saying, I thought Sasquatches birthed litters. Why aren’t there six of them? Now enjoy these spilling into the pics of her insane buttpud because I love/hate… More »


Selena Gomez’s Breasts Wore This

By: The Superficial / November 10, 2014

There’ve been enough awful posts over the past two weeks that everyone should know how this works: I write about something terrible like child abuse, and then follow it up with pictures of sexually attractive celebrities so everyone’s distracted with an erection and/or how simple and disgusting men are. It’s fucking crazy effective. On that… More »


Katharine McPhee Is Here To Help

By: The Superficial / November 5, 2014

After every Mama June Shannon post – and shit like this in West Virginia – I like to provide a palate cleanser so everyone doesn’t shoot themselves in the copy room in a fit of depression. (RIP, Robin.) So here’s Katharine McPhee‘s ass which I had no idea was this fantastic and obviously increases her… More »


Jessica Chastain’s Probably Captain Marvel

By: Photo Boy / November 5, 2014

Posted by Photo Boy

It’s time for another round of ‘Make Me Look Like An Ignorant Asshole,’ a game Fish has been playing since our college days, but at least I now understand why he always offered to pay for the MD 20/20. “I heard the Peaches & Cream doesn’t give you a… More »


Jessica Biel Is Pregnant. For Real.

By: The Superficial / November 5, 2014

It seems like only six days ago I wrote a post about Jessica Biel being pregnant, and that’s because I did because butt photos: whatever gets them on the site. But this time, there’s an “official” announcement from Us Weekly, so now we can all sleep at night knowing that, yes, Justin Timberlake has i… More »


Lindsay Lohan’s Being Sued For $60 Million

By: The Superficial / October 31, 2014

So remember when Lindsay Lohan and her brother stole that dude’s app? He actually thinks he’s getting $60 million out of them. C’mon, she’s not sucking that many dicks. — Is she? Page Six reports:

Actress Lindsay Lohan’s younger brother, once the scandal-scarred clan’s white sheep, is facing a $60 million lawsuit by… More »


At Least Jenny McCarthy’s Breasts Aren’t Horribly Damaging Kids- Wait

By: The Superficial / October 30, 2014

Usually this is the part where I post T&A pics to rinse everybody’s brains from the child-destroying garbage that came before it. It’s a small service I provide for the community, but I don’t like to brag about it. Except I kind of fucked up and forgot to leave out the part where kids getMore »


Rihanna’s Breasts Fought AIDS, Too

By: The Superficial / October 30, 2014

Here’s Rihanna at yesterday’s amfAR Inspiration Gala where she spent the whole night saying things like, “Damn! Miley Cyrus and that mouse with an Australian accent just shot a guy with a plunger!” And, “Oh snap, that fly’s wearing a red shirt!” It really was an incredible evening. You should’ve been there.

THEMore »


Miley Cyrus Wore This To Fight AIDS

By: The Superficial / October 30, 2014

Because every post about misogynistic reactions to the academic discussion of sexist tropes should be followed by pics of Miley Cyrus‘ cleavage, here she is at last night’s amfAR Inspiration Gala where she helped Dale and the other Rescue Rangers stop Fat Cat with a plane made out of a bleach bottle. People could hardly… More »


No Shit Gwyneth Paltrow Broke Up Chris Martin & Jennifer Lawrence

By: The Superficial / October 29, 2014

The very second Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin broke up, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out it probably had to do with the woman he’s technically still married to who also has a giant ego that’s about to get her face baked into a quiche. So let’s get this other with. Via… More »


Kim Kardashian Compared Herself To ‘I Love Lucy’

By: The Superficial / October 29, 2014

Once you’ve written about one reality show and the empty, mammoth husks of humanity that star in them, you kind of want to write about them all. So here’s Kim Kardashian literally comparing Keeping Up With The Kardashians to I Love Lucy with a straight face. Although, it’s not like she could move it if… More »


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