Red Carpet

So Jaimie Alexander Might Be Wonder Woman

By: The Superficial / November 4, 2013
While promoting Thor: The Dark World at Comikaze over the weekend, Jaimie Alexander made some comments to Forbes that heavily suggest she might be Wonder Woman in Batman Vs. Superman. Also I spent my entire morning writing about Courtney Stodden, so now it's comic book… More »

Lindsay Lohan’s Banging Floyd Mayweather Jr.

By: The Superficial / November 1, 2013
Here's Lindsay Lohan and Floyd Mayweather Jr. hosting a Halloween party at Foxwoods Resort Casino last night where either he's getting his money's worth or they're dating now. And if you're thinking to yourself, "Wait a minute, doesn't Floyd Mayweather Jr. have a well-documented history of domestic violence,"… More »

Heidi Klum Still Owns Halloween

By: The Superficial / November 1, 2013
Every year for Halloween, Heidi Klum holds Rick Baker hostage until he transforms her into a reality-bending creation that unleashes the full power of Samhain in hopes of one day resurrecting Herr Fuhrer. So here's Heidi making Guy Pearce in Prometheus look like fucking clown shoes, and the… More »

Much Better, Kelly Ripa

By: The Superficial / November 1, 2013
Yesterday, Kelly Ripa wore a Miley Cyrus costume even though Paris Hilton and Crystal Hefner did the same thing over the weekend leaving Kelly with plenty of time to rethink every decision she's ever made in her life. So here she is showing a little more originality by dressing u… More »

Kelly Clarkson Is Forcing Her Husband To Put A Baby In Her By Christmas

By: The Superficial / October 31, 2013
In a new interview with Valentine In The Morning, the recently married Kelly Clarkson made it clear that she's forcing her husband to repeatedly have sex with her so she's pregnant for Christmas which probably explains the lifeless expression on his face above as he nonchalantly steps into traffic. Via People:… More »

KIM & KANYE ARE A PLAYBOY POSING EXPLOITATION JESUS ROCKET, YO

By: The Superficial / October 29, 2013
HOW MANY MOTHERFUCKERS MADE A BABY IN A MAGAZINE? A MAGAZINE!!! Posted by Kanye West PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET THINK THEY CAN CALL MY GIRL A COW WHILE MY BABY IN THAT ASS!! WELL NOW SHE'S GONNA GET NAKED!!! WHATEVER THE FUCK'S A STARPULSE, PUT THEM WORDS IN THE LITTLE QUOTES! She's keen to… More »

Nicole Kidman & Keith Urban Sext, This Is Information You Know Now

By: The Superficial / October 29, 2013
During an appearance on The Ellen Degeneres Show yesterday, Keith Urban revealed that when he's away from Nicole Kidman the two like to get it on through the sensual art of making penis emoticons on their smartphones. Via Us Weekly: "We never text. We never email. Phone calls only,… More »

Kim Kardashian’s Birthday Breasts Only Get The Link Post And Other News

By: The Superficial / October 28, 2013
- They're rebooting Murder, She Wrote? Goddammit... [Lainey Gossip] - Noah Cyrus' vagina is being primed for the twerking. [Dlisted] - Girls With Future Lower Back Problems [theCHIVE] - LeAnn Rimes needs to stop talking. [Fishwrapper] - Katy Perry & Robert Pattinson doing karaoke, anyone? [… More »

Lady GaGa Got Naked To Launch Her New Album, How Entirely Original

By: The Superficial / October 25, 2013
Because Lady GaGa is apparently just going to pretend Miley Cyrus doesn't exist - *writes that down* - here she is promoting her new album Artpop by appearing before a crowd in Berlin this morning and letting them know the Angel of Nips is upon them. Nobody really knew what that… More »

Miranda Kerr Is Single

By: The Superficial / October 25, 2013
We're still two months away from the Baby Jesus' birthday, and yet he's already bestowed a gift upon us by breaking up Miranda Kerr and Legolas even though we kind of murdered his ass then went, "Haha, remember all that stuff he said about poor people? Fuck that." E! News reports:… More »

Kanye Doesn’t Want A Prenup, Thinks They’re ‘Tacky’

By: The Superficial / October 23, 2013
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West got engaged Monday night, and if you're a rational person with even the slightest knowledge of Kim, you'd assume there's going to be a prenup to protect at least some of his money from the most highly successful and obvious gold dig of our generation. More »

Pauly D Has A Love Child

By: The Superficial / October 22, 2013
"Shit, is that a meteor? Did I do that?!" I used to always joke that Jersey Shore was the more responsible show than Teen Mom because at least the spray-tanned guidos weren't actively shitting kids into the gene pool. But then Snooki ruined all that, and now Pauly… More »

Dakota Johnson Wants To Quit ‘Fifty Shades of Grey,’ Too, Now

By: The Superficial / October 16, 2013
Now that Charlie Hunnam's bailed, current Anastasia Steele Dakota Johnson, who's kind of got a young Gillian Anderson thing going on - *holds hand back from writing 'I Want To Believe' on penis* - is also thinking of jumping ship on Fifty Shades of Grey. Or "pulling tamp," as I'm now… More »

Aaron Taylor-Johnson Is Probably Christian Grey Now Because His Wife’s The Director

By: The Superficial / October 15, 2013
Oh, shit, I hear panties dropping already! SLAM. Four years ago, 19-year-old Aaron Taylor-Johnson, then just Aaron Johnson (Oh, yeah, he took her name.), started dating his 42-year-old Nowhere Boy director Sam Taylor-Wood before the two eventually married grossing everyone right the hell out. And, now, to make their… More »

How Dare You Enslave Madonna With Your Mortal Texting Etiquette?!

By: The Superficial / October 11, 2013
Seen here with director Steve McQueen at the New York Film Festival, Madonna was invited to a special screening of 12 Years A Slave where she proceeded to text the entire time and marked those who would dare disrupt her unholy missives, according to Page Six: A spy said… More »

Gina Carano Banging Superman Again Is A Post With Celebrity Breasts In It

By: The Superficial / October 10, 2013
I'm going to be completely honest with you, it's a fucking wasteland on the celebrity beat right now. Just wait until you see my next post [Update: Right here.] which is the hottest story on the Internet right now and will put things entirely in perspective. In the meantime, here's a post about… More »

The Ridiculous Shit Miley Cyrus Wore Now

By: The Superficial / October 9, 2013
Because Miley Cyrus can't go 24 hours without reminding everybody running it so far into the ground she could jerk off China that she's not Hannah Montana anymore, here she is at her album release party last night still sticking her tongue out so I'll complete my transformation into a crotchety… More »

Lea Michele & Ryan Murphy Banned Dianna Agron From ‘Glee’ Cory Monteith Tribute Episode

By: The Superficial / October 8, 2013
In case you were wondering if Cory Monteith's death would make Lea Michele less of a diva cunt, the answer is no because she's Mean Girls-ing Dianna Agron out of the Glee tribute with the help of Ryan Murphy who hates that ish, too. In related news,… More »

The Hottest Olsen Is Scarlet Witch In ‘Avengers 2′

By: The Superficial / October 3, 2013
Elizabeth Olsen has already grown up into the hot, non-Muppet-on-heroin-looking young woman everyone hoped and dream her sisters would be once they hit 18, and now she's besting them again by being cast in the premiere superhero franchise of the moment instead of murdering the best actor in one. More »

Ronan Farrow Is Probably Frank Sinatra’s Son

By: The Superficial / October 2, 2013
In a new interview with Vanity Fair, Mia Farrow not-so-subtly admits her son Ronan's real father is Frank Sinatra and not Woody Allen who I like to imagine took the news well. "So, technically that would make him adopted, right? And he always had those blue eyes... Soon-Yi, pack… More »

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