Red Carpet

The 56th Annual Grammy Awards

The Superficial / January 27, 2014

Remember that scene in Man of Steel where Superman’s drowning in all those skulls? That’s literally the only way to describe what it’s felt like today covering the Grammys. So think of this last gallery as me escaping those skulls (Without Space Dad helping. Aw, what?) except some of them are grabbing John Legend’s dickMore »

Don’t You Ever Leave Me Like That Again, Katy Perry’s Breasts

The Superficial / January 27, 2014

When Katy Perry’s breasts reappeared on the cover of GQ last week, I tried not to get my hopes up that we’d finally entered a new age of enlightenment where she shoves them in people’s faces thus fulfilling their destiny as a personal gift from an all-powerful Christian God. Basically an era of science shit,… More »

Beyonce Broke The Internet

The Superficial / January 27, 2014

Depending on where you lie on the political/age/white people spectrum, Beyonce’s performance of “Drunk In Love” at last night’s Grammys was either a destroyer of children, a feminine tour de force, or a piss right in Ross Douthat’s face. As for what we brought to the discussion? Ass photos. We brought ass photos. “For doth… More »

Taylor Swift Thought She Won Album of The Year,
She Didn’t

The Superficial / January 27, 2014

Taylor Swift, who, again, looked way more awesome at Clive Davis’ Pre-Grammy party, was up for Album of the Year at last night’s Grammys and had the joy of finding out what happens when two competing albums start with the same letter because here she is starting to lose her shit as Alicia Keys start… More »

Madonna Brought Her Black Son To The Grammys. See? She’s Not Racist

The Superficial / January 27, 2014

“Zup? You called me her new boyfriend. I like that. That’s a funny joke.”
Madonna found herself in some shit last week after referring to her white son Rocco as “dis nigga,” so here she is at the Grammys last night where she used her black son David Banda as a prop by dressing him… More »

Joanna Krupa Won The Pre-Grammys

The Superficial / January 27, 2014

Before we hit you a metric ass-ton of pics from the Grammys, here’s the best of the Pre-Grammy parties which is hands down Joanna Krupa followed by Taylor Swift’s body looking way tighter than it did at the Grammys, Rihanna wearing this yellow thing over her presumably naked body, Miley Cyrus actually wearing clothing i… More »

Farrah Abraham Can’t Keep The Lies About Her Sex Tape That’s Really A Porno Straight

The Superficial / January 24, 2014

Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary like, oh I dunno, you’re looking right at her at a porn convention with Ron Jeremy, squirting tit-bag Farrah Abraham is still trying to claim Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom was an innocent sex tape she filmed with her “boyfriend” porn star James Deen who betrayed her by leakingMore »

Those Are Kelly Brook Nipples

The Superficial / January 23, 2014

So far this morning, Justin Bieber has been arrested for DUI, and now here’s Kelly Brook wearing a see-through dress which means I made the right move letting that mermaid out of my net (What? I have a life outside of this site.), or I’m about to find out I have cancer because there’s nowhere… More »

Shia LaBeouf Opened A Dialog About Plagiarism, So Really We Should Be Thanking Him

The Superficial / January 22, 2014

“Hello, I’m Dr. Cornelius Pubebeard. Welcome to Artistic D-bagging 101.”
Because Shia LaBeouf can’t go five minutes without the digital equivalent of flailing his arms around and yelling, “Hey, hey, look at me! I arted!” he went on another Twitter tirade last night. Only this time instead of retiring, he did exactly what the entire… More »

Selena Gomez Has A New Man Already

The Superficial / January 22, 2014

After a chronic meth addiction coupled with lupus made Selena Gomez briefly think getting back together with Justin Bieber was a good idea (That’s what I’m going with. Suck it.), she apparently got her shit together after watching the boy who just stuck his penis in her egg a house for the love of sizzurpMore »

Jennifer Lawrence Will Completely Lose Her Shit If You Tell Her A Spoiler

The Superficial / January 21, 2014

In case the Internet needed more proof that Jennifer Lawrence is its one, true love, here she is going absolutely fangirl while meeting Damian Lewis before proceeding to completely lose her shit after the Access Hollywood anchors tell her a massive Homeland spoiler. At one point, she’s genuinely crying which, for the record, I did… More »

Lindsay Lohan’s A Movie Star Again!

The Superficial / January 21, 2014

The last movie Lindsay Lohan made went straight to video and was the subject of an amazing New York Times profile on why you should never, ever hire her as an actress. But that was before Oprah took her under her wing to prove that she can take humanity’s trash and repolish it into a… More »

The 20th Annual SAG Awards

The Superficial / January 20, 2014

I’m going to shoot it to you straight. Today is technically a work holiday, so I let Photo Boy have the day off because he’s like my sla- a trusted employee! I was going to say trusted employee. So here’s my attempt at a SAG Awards red carpet gallery/a> which may or may not beMore »

Jennifer Lawrence’s Armpit Looks Like A Vagina, According To Jennifer Lawrence

The Superficial / January 20, 2014

In every photo like this, there’s always a Cuba Gooding Jr. in the background whose night’s just about to get started.
Here’s Jennifer Lawrence at the 20th Annual SAG Awards Saturday night where she told Giuliana Rancic that her armpit looks like a vagina because Jennifer Lawrence is a powerhouse of poise, class and sophistication. More »

Cuba Gooding Jr.’s Night Went Well

The Superficial / January 20, 2014

In case you missed it, just as Ben Affleck finished wrapping up the 20th Annual SAG Awards Saturday night, Cuba Gooding Jr. ran onstage and Kanye’d the shit out of him by yelling “Happy MLK Weekend!” right into the microphone. Which actually makes sense once you see the above pic of how he started hi… More »

Jonah Hill Got Nominated For Another Oscar

The Superficial / January 16, 2014

Now Leo has to ask HIM to the Sadie Hawkins Dance!
[Ed. Note: You’re goddamn right these are part two. – SW]
Photo: Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENNMore »

Hilary Duff’s Marriage: What Went Wrong?

The Superficial / January 15, 2014

“Yup, it’s me, the chick who blew her fiance after he proposed. Thanks for coming to Disney’s Planes!”

On Friday afternoon, Hilary Duff and Mike Comrie shocked the five people still online by announcing they’re separating after only three years of marriage. Which seemed odd at the time considering his penis went rightMore »

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit: 50 Years of Beautiful

The Superficial / January 15, 2014

Kate Upton’s giant breasts were at the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit: 50 Years of Beautiful event last night, so I don’t know why I’m even writing anything else or bothering to point out that Christie Brinkley is an ageless vampire. Or wondering why I didn’t lead with Genevieve Morton who, honestly, looks way hotter than Kate,… More »

Did Ireland Baldwin Pose For The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue?

The Superficial / January 15, 2014

Last night’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit: 50 Years of Beautiful red carpet was almost entirely models who’ve posed for the issue, yet here’s Ireland Baldwin making the case for harvesting Kim Basinger’s DNA and injecting it into babies. Which means either Ireland posed for this year’s issue, or Sports Illustrated tried to bait Alec Baldwin into… More »

Jennifer Lopez Wore This

The Superficial / January 15, 2014

Photo Boy and I were thrown a curveball this morning with the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit: 50 Years of Beautiful event, so while we harvest the boob-meat out of that (Can you tell I was asked for my job description recently?), here’s Jennifer Lopez at the FOX TCA All-Star Party yesterday. She’s needy and doesn’t likeMore »

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