Red Carpet

Jennifer Lawrence Will Talk About Butt Plugs Now

By: The Superficial / December 19, 2013

Earlier this morning I was informed that America is Sodom and Gomorrah now, and lo and behold, here’s Jennifer Lawrence talking about her “copious amounts of butt plugs” on Conan last night because she’s simply delightful. That said, my apologies for posting two hard-hitting pieces of journalism in a row this close to Christmas. We’re… More »

Jonah Hill Standing Next To Leonardo DiCaprio Is What’s Been Missing From Your Life

By: The Superficial / December 18, 2013

Like the cast of Duck Dynasty, I’m going to shoot it to you straight the way God intended it. There wasn’t a Most Important People over the weekend because, well, there weren’t a whole lot of comments to justify one. Fortunately Internet Jesus saw fit to place Jonah Hill next to Leonardo DiCaprio at TheMore »

Kim Kardashian Can’t Believe People Think She Waxed North West’s Unibrow

By: The Superficial / December 18, 2013

In case you can’t tell we’re only a week out from Christmas, the top story of the moment is whether or not Kim Kardashian did something to North West‘s unibrow before posting a picture of her to Instagram. An accusation Kim finds “sick” because she’s usually such an honest and trustworthy individual. Via Twitter:… More »

Colin Farrell Tapped That

By: The Superficial / December 17, 2013

In a new interview with Ellen, Colin Farrell admits to having a “romantic relationship” with Elizabeth Taylor in 2009 after bumping into her at the hospital. So here’s that while I try and see if Colin Farrel and Russell Brand have ever been in the same place at the same time. Via E! News:… More »

Lindsay Lohan’s Writing A Tell-All Book

By: The Superficial / December 16, 2013

Almost a year ago to this day, James Franco said in an interview that the main reason Lindsay Lohan doesn’t get her shit together is because every time she goes to jail or rehab, someone offers her a book deal. A claim that seemed laughable until this weekend when it became clear it wasn’t just… More »

It’s A Vadgity Chipmunk Christmas Card!

By: The Superficial / December 16, 2013

Miley Cyrus might be the most over-exposed, played out pop star of the moment whose Justin Bieber-face and vagina haunt my dreams, but what people don’t know about her is that she’s also an activist. An activist for such pressing and important causes as Free The Nipple, a group dedicated to letting chicks walk around… More »

Gisele Bundchen Breastfeeding, Anyone?

By: The Superficial / December 11, 2013

If you happened to see photos of Gisele Bundchen looking fucking fantastic at the Oral B event in Sao Paolo yesterday, what you might not have known is that right before going on stage, a baby was sucking on her breasts. But now you do because Gisele wanted to share that moment with you and… More »

Good Morning, Adriana Lima & Karlie Kloss, And Other News

By: The Superficial / December 10, 2013

- There’s a #MondayBunday now?! ‘Tis truly is a magical season. [theCHIVE]

- Miley Cyrus‘ hair looks like this now. [Lainey Gossip]

- Ali Lohan is trying to be a singer again. [Dlisted]

- Why I Believe Jameis Winston’s Accuser [Deadspin]

- Kim Kardashian thinks she’s ElizabethMore »

Gal Gadot Is Officially Wonder Woman

By: The Superficial / December 4, 2013

One of the worst kept secrets about Batman Vs. Superman is that it would feature a cameo by Wonder Woman. A Wonder Woman who will not be played by Jaimie Alexander because apparently even her breasts are too big for whatever the hell they’re trying to do here. Variety reports:

Gal Gadot willMore »

Just Go, Jessica Simpson, Be Free

By: The Superficial / December 4, 2013

Jessica Simpson, you don’t have to do this to yourself anyway. You’re a Chili’s girl trapped in a sushi and heroin chic world. Everyone knows it, and that’s okay. It’s who you are. Also what you are is crazy fucking rich. You shouldn’t have to stand on another red carpet sucking and pushing your gut… More »

Are Hayden Panettiere’s Implants Supposed To Look Like That?

By: The Superficial / November 25, 2013

After a rough take-off, I grew to love Hayden Panettiere‘s implants, but not to the point where I forgot she’s still a woman with other body parts for me to objectify. It was a beautiful symbiotic relationship if there ever was one. Except something’s going terribly wrong because now they’re trying to suck me into… More »

The 2013 American Music Awards

By: The Superficial / November 25, 2013

Here’s the rest of The 2013 American Music Awards which is almost entirely an excuse to post pics of Aubrey O’Day‘s breasts because we have Christ in our hearts. Then again, the presence of Ke$ha suggests maybe it’s Satan. I’m not a priest.

Photos: GettyMore »

Katy Perry’s Breasts! You Came Back (Kind Of)!

By: The Superficial / November 25, 2013

Katy Perry has been keeping her breasts under wraps lately because she’s a very serious artist now who can’t be taken very seriously if her giant tits are all up in your face. Which is obviously a bullshit excuse because it makes no sense, so I’ll just come right out and say it: John MayerMore »

Oh, What’s That, Lady GaGa? You’re Marilyn Monroe And R. Kelly Is Obama?

By: The Superficial / November 25, 2013


Get back in your egg.

Photos: GettyMore »

This Chick Says She’s Christina Aguilera

By: The Superficial / November 25, 2013

Below is Christina Aguilera at last year’s American Music Awards. And above is one of her arms stretched out with four limbs, a head and tits because science is only concerned with if it could do something instead of being worried if it should. This is how Skynet happens, people.

Photos:More »

Jennifer Lawrence Gave Her Last ‘Catching Fire’ Interview, Shh… There, There, Internet

By: The Superficial / November 22, 2013

Jennifer Lawrence has given a series of interviews while promoting The Hunger Games: Catching Fire which we’ve covered exactly one of and almost entirely focused on her side boob and butt. But I did write about the poop one! Let the record show I wrote about the poop one. Anyway, here’s Jennifer Lawrence doing her… More »

Your Dad Wants To Have A Talk With You About His New Girlfriend, Courtney Stodden

By: The Superficial / November 22, 2013

Come on in, son, have a seat.

Listen, I know you’re all grown up now and have a family of your own, but that doesn’t mean you still can’t have a talk with your old man. As you know, it’s been a few months since your mother passed, and well, I’ve met somebody. More »

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Children Won’t Ruin Your Authentic Spanish Wedding With Peasant Talk

By: The Superficial / November 21, 2013

Let me just start off by saying, yes, I completely understand and appreciate that teaching children to be multilingual at a young age improves cognition which is why Europeans stare at us the same way we watch Honey Boo Boo put more butter in her s’getti. That said, it still doesn’t make it less bourgeoi… More »

Kelly Clarkson’s Pregnant, Wasn’t F*cking Around

By: The Superficial / November 20, 2013

Not even three weeks ago, Kelly Clarkson announced that she was going to ride the shit out of her husband who she’d only been married to for 10 days until he put a baby in her for Christmas. Which worked, so just assume he’s dead now. He died. PEOPLE reports:

The singer, 31,… More »

This Is A Post About Jennifer Lawrence’s Butt

By: The Superficial / November 19, 2013

A while back there was a big to-do over Jennifer Lawrence‘s butt, so here it is at last night’s Hollywood premiere of The Hunger Games: Catching Fire for you to disseminate and inspect without reading a single word I’ve written down here. It’s okay, it’s fine. As long as YOU get what YOU want that’… More »

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