Red Carpet

Katy Perry Dumped John Mayer

The Superficial / February 26, 2014

“Yeah, we’re still not getting married.”
Over the past few weeks, there’s been rumor after rumor about Katy Perry getting engaged to John Mayer except now E! News is reporting she dumped his ass which I’m sure had nothing to do with a press campaign to box him into proposing. Guys love that:
A… More »

Lili Simmons Is Your New Naked Chick From ‘True Detective’

The Superficial / February 25, 2014

True Detective is the goddamn highlight of my week, and probably the greatest written, acted, and directed season of television that any of us will ever see. Which is why I hate to reduce it to just another show where hot chicks get naked, but I’d also hate to not have clicks on my titty… More »

Robin Thicke & Paula Patton Are Separating, I Can’t Imagine Why

The Superficial / February 25, 2014

Yesterday, Robin Thicke and Paula Patton announced they’re separating which seems odd for a couple in a totally “chill” open marriage because it’s not like that’s a concept entirely based on at least one person being tired of fucking the other. It has all the elements for success. People reports:
“We will always love each… More »

Remember How Christina Aguilera Got Really Skinny? That’s All Over Now

The Superficial / February 21, 2014

Sometime around April of last year, Christina Aguilera got crazy skinny after looking perpetually pregnant for most of 2012 and almost ruining The Voice in the process. Except, good news, she is pregnant now presumably because no one gave a shit about her engagement announcement last week. People reports:
A week after announcing that boyfriend… More »

How Many Affairs Is Gwyneth Paltrow Having?

The Superficial / February 19, 2014

Despite having Chris Martin’s initial tattooed on her pubic bone, Defamer (via former Gawker editor’s Neetzan Zimmerman’s new startup app Whisper) is reporting that Gwyneth Paltrow had or is having an affair with Kevin Yorn. Whether that’s on top of or in place of the one she was reportedly having with millionaire hotel owner JeffMore »

Michelle Rodriguez Is Banging Cara Delevingne

The Superficial / February 19, 2014

Presumably because Vin Diesel always talks about cars when they do it, or she has amnesia again (Damn your undercover missions, Paul Walker. DAMN THEM TO HELL.), Michelle Rodriguez confirmed to The Mirror that she’s dating Cara Delevingne. Which is cool, it’s 2014. Lesbians be free to lesbianate. I’m just concerned with what happened to… More »

Herpes: It’s What’s For Breakfast And Other News

The Superficial / February 17, 2014

- Leonardo DiCaprio’s silent campaign to beat Matthew McConaughey at the Oscars. [Lainey Gossip]
- Ellen Page made what everyone knew official. [Dlisted]
- My Big Ol’ Boobies, Tis of Thee… [theCHIVE]
- Chris Brown is very concerned about women now. [Fishwrapper]
- Martha Stewart wants to bang Batman. [The Frisky]
– “Aww, who’s a… More »

Those Are Kendall Jenner’s Nipples

The Superficial / February 14, 2014

Here’s Kendall Jenner somehow walking the Marc Jacobs runway during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week last night, and yes, those are her nipples you’re clearly seeing directly through her shirt. And I get it. Kris Jenner has a brand to keep relevant while people lose interest in Kim’s ass, but did she have to drain Kendall’s lifeforce… More »

Farrah Abraham Wants To Be A ‘Virgin Forever.’ Butt-Squirt Farrah.

The Superficial / February 13, 2014

After knee-capping real rape survivors to promote the sequel to her sex tape, jack-butt of all trades Farrah Abraham has apparently switched back to Christian parenting mode because she’s totally done with having sex, you guys, and is saving her body for Christ. You read that. Via Life & Style:
Farrah Abraham bared all last… More »

Kristen Stewart Wrote A Poem

The Superficial / February 12, 2014

I’m going to be honest here. I know next to nothing about poetry and would immediately zone out during any part of any class when it was time to read or write it. I even dated an English major who tried her damnedest to get me into it, but she also could orgasm just by… More »

Those Are Abbie Cornish’s Nipples

The Superficial / February 11, 2014

Everyone enjoy Thor’s muscles rippling through his shirt, almost as if they’re calling your name to cover them in delicious cinnamon and papas fritas? Perfect. Now back to boobs. Here’s Abbie Cornish wearing a see-through dress to the Hollywood premiere of RoboCop last night. Which you’d assume wouldn’t warrant a whole post because who the… More »

Shia LaBeouf Is A Douche In A Bag

The Superficial / February 10, 2014

Here’s Shia LaBeouf at the Berlin International Film Festival premiere of Nymphomaniac yesterday where he walked the red carpet with a bag over his head to cap off his earlier performance verite de fartsniffadeux of walking out of the Q&A after answering only one question with a plagiarized answer from French soccer player Eric Cantora&#8217… More »

F*ck You, Farrah Abraham, You Were Not Raped

The Superficial / February 6, 2014

Let me just start this post off by saying as much of an asshole-ish, boob-obsessed dickhead as I am, I understand very serious concepts such as rape culture and victim shaming. In fact, I’ve been pissed to no end watching it happen with the Dylan Farrow situation. So for all those people just itching to… More »

Bill Clinton Banged Elizabeth Hurley In The White House, According To Tom Sizemore

The Superficial / February 5, 2014

Before I get into this story, there’s a few things you should probably know. 1. Radar Online pays sources. 2. Drugs cost money. However, 3. Bill Clinton loves pussy. Literally any pussy. No, really. So now that you’re fully educated, here’s Tom Sizemore bragging about the time he hooked up our 42nd president with ElizabethMore »

Scarlett Johansson Selling Soda Machines Is Destroying The Middle East (Or Something)

The Superficial / January 30, 2014

The last time Scarlett Johansson got involved with politics, she might as well have fucked Sean Penn in the middle of the White House Correspondents Dinner, and before that, she was running around telling people Obama was her e-mail boyfriend. So let’s just say her track record isn’t exactly the greatest which is why it… More »

Katy Perry Fingerbanged Anna Kendrick’s Cleavage

The Superficial / January 29, 2014

The State of The Union was last night. And while President Obama proposed solutions to tackle poverty and climate change as Republicans went gay over duck people, absolutely none of that involved Anna Kendrick revealing that Katy Perry’s signature move is to walk up to chicks and fingerblast them right in the tits. So below… More »

The 56th Annual Grammy Awards

The Superficial / January 27, 2014

Remember that scene in Man of Steel where Superman’s drowning in all those skulls? That’s literally the only way to describe what it’s felt like today covering the Grammys. So think of this last gallery as me escaping those skulls (Without Space Dad helping. Aw, what?) except some of them are grabbing John Legend’s dickMore »

Don’t You Ever Leave Me Like That Again, Katy Perry’s Breasts

The Superficial / January 27, 2014

When Katy Perry’s breasts reappeared on the cover of GQ last week, I tried not to get my hopes up that we’d finally entered a new age of enlightenment where she shoves them in people’s faces thus fulfilling their destiny as a personal gift from an all-powerful Christian God. Basically an era of science shit,… More »

Beyonce Broke The Internet

The Superficial / January 27, 2014

Depending on where you lie on the political/age/white people spectrum, Beyonce’s performance of “Drunk In Love” at last night’s Grammys was either a destroyer of children, a feminine tour de force, or a piss right in Ross Douthat’s face. As for what we brought to the discussion? Ass photos. We brought ass photos. “For doth… More »

Taylor Swift Thought She Won Album of The Year,
She Didn’t

The Superficial / January 27, 2014

Taylor Swift, who, again, looked way more awesome at Clive Davis’ Pre-Grammy party, was up for Album of the Year at last night’s Grammys and had the joy of finding out what happens when two competing albums start with the same letter because here she is starting to lose her shit as Alicia Keys start… More »

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