Red Carpet

Hilary Duff’s Marriage: What Went Wrong?

By: The Superficial / January 15, 2014

“Yup, it’s me, the chick who blew her fiance after he proposed. Thanks for coming to Disney’s Planes!”

On Friday afternoon, Hilary Duff and Mike Comrie shocked the five people still online by announcing they’re separating after only three years of marriage. Which seemed odd at the time considering his penis went rightMore »


Sports Illustrated Swimsuit: 50 Years of Beautiful

By: The Superficial / January 15, 2014

Kate Upton’s giant breasts were at the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit: 50 Years of Beautiful event last night, so I don’t know why I’m even writing anything else or bothering to point out that Christie Brinkley is an ageless vampire. Or wondering why I didn’t lead with Genevieve Morton who, honestly, looks way hotter than Kate,… More »


Did Ireland Baldwin Pose For The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue?

By: The Superficial / January 15, 2014

Last night’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit: 50 Years of Beautiful red carpet was almost entirely models who’ve posed for the issue, yet here’s Ireland Baldwin making the case for harvesting Kim Basinger’s DNA and injecting it into babies. Which means either Ireland posed for this year’s issue, or Sports Illustrated tried to bait Alec Baldwin into… More »


Jennifer Lopez Wore This

By: The Superficial / January 15, 2014

Photo Boy and I were thrown a curveball this morning with the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit: 50 Years of Beautiful event, so while we harvest the boob-meat out of that (Can you tell I was asked for my job description recently?), here’s Jennifer Lopez at the FOX TCA All-Star Party yesterday. She’s needy and doesn’t likeMore »


Christina Ricci Collapses For Easy Storage

By: The Superficial / January 14, 2014

Back in November, Christina Ricci posted a picture of herself inside a refrigerator (above) which nobody noticed until yesterday January 13. Except when they did, the Internet lost its shit because apparently banging Wednesday Adams next to the vegetable crisper is the fetish it’s been waiting for after spending a soul-searching moment wondering if SwissMore »


Holy Santa Maria Jesus Shit Christ, Sofia Vergara’s Breasts At The Golden Globes After-Party

By: The Superficial / January 13, 2014

This morning, I made a comment that the Golden Globes were boring as shit and nobody wore anything that justified their own post. Which technically is still true because here’s Sofia Vergara at the after-party where I like to believe the Hollywood Foreign Press took everyone’s awards back and handed them to Sofia’s breasts. “Excusey,… More »


Charlize Theron Somehow Convinced Sean Penn To Get Rid of His Guns, It’s A Mystery

By: The Superficial / January 13, 2014

Sean Penn used to bang Scarlett Johansson, yet at no point during their relationship did she convince him to get rid of his guns which is what happens when you get pregnant and abort a man’s baby. (Weird angles made me say that. They have my family!) Charlize Theron, on the other hand, knocked that… More »


Yellow Grimace & The 71st Annual Golden Globes

By: The Superficial / January 13, 2014

Because I wasn’t fucking around when I said we’re getting in and out of the Golden Globes, here’s the rest of the shit you might possibly, but not really, need to know. Starting with these red carpet photos, this Ronan Farrow tweet which is so awesome, he has to be Sinatra’s son:… More »


The Best Looking Women At The Golden Globes: A Non-Definitive Or Even Comprehensive List

By: The Superficial / January 13, 2014

Just in case you didn’t believe me that the Golden Globes were boring as all hell, here are the most attractive women from the red carpet: Amy Adams, Margot Robbie, Sofia Vergara, Amber Heard, and Olivia Wilde. And if you’re wondering, wait a minute, isn’t that last one pregnant? You’re goddamn right she is. Wanna… More »


Your Internet Girlfriend Photobombed Taylor Swift

By: The Superficial / January 13, 2014

For those of you who live real lives instead of a candy-coated titty land where moral decay and excess rule the day, the Golden Globes were last night and, holy shit, were they boring as fuck. So we’re going to get through them as quickly as possible starting with Internet darling Jennifer Lawrence Photobombing TaylorMore »


One Of These People Had No Idea The Other Was Going To Be There, Try And Guess Which One

By: The Superficial / January 10, 2014

I’m not going to lie to you. If someone paid us to run an entire site that’s nothing but Leonardo DiCaprio being forced to interact with Jonah Hill at movie premieres, we’d quit this bitch in a heartbeat.

Photos: Getty, Splash NewsMore »


Justin Bieber Egged His Neighbor’s House

By: The Superficial / January 10, 2014

If you only follow Justin Bieber’s Instgram, you’d see the above photo of him from eight hours ago that shows a nice, friendly pop star posing with a sweet little girl. It’s downright wholesome, and I’m sure has absolutely nothing to do with him getting caught last night egging the house of the neighbor who… More »


Heidi Klum & Jessica Alba Are The Rest of The People’s Choice Awards

By: The Superficial / January 9, 2014

Considering we did one post about the People’s Choice Awards last year (Read: You forgot the boobs.), I entirely forgot they were a thing. But then Kat Dennings’ breasts changed all that because this year we have four posts, including a Bertney story, which will be forgotten in an hour because Heidi Klum and JessicaMore »


Bertney Wins A Trophy!

By: The Superficial / January 9, 2014

Bertney Wins A Trophy!
A Scholastic Learning Book

Bertney was excited. Papa had told her she was getting an award for Favorite Pop Artist. She didn’t know what that meant, but she guessed it had to do with the time he made her say “Bitch” into a microphone. It was a funnyMore »


Kat Dennings’ Breasts Host Awards Shows Now

By: The Superficial / January 9, 2014

Oh, so that’s why she was on Conan with that other chi- *stops caring, looks at boobs*

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Splash News, WENNMore »


Malin Akerman’s Breasts Didn’t Stand A Chance

By: The Superficial / January 9, 2014

Because she’s surrounded by yes men who didn’t warn her that Kat Dennings’ breasts would be there in all their majesty and splendor, Malin Akerman tried to make this outfit happen at the People’s Choice Awards last night which was a fool’s errand. She might as well have showed up in a habit. That’s right,… More »


Lindsay Lohan’s Laptop Full of Naked Photos Just Got ‘Stolen’

By: The Superficial / January 8, 2014

Remember around six, seven years ago when “celebrities” would claim their laptops got “stolen at the airport” as nude pictures of them conveniently started popping up on the Internet raising their profile? Apparently Lindsay Lohan just did. TMZ reports:

Lindsay claims her computer was stolen at the airport in Shanghai, China, and she’… More »


Beth Behrs Grabbed Kat Dennings’ Breast

By: The Superficial / January 8, 2014

Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs probably have some sort of acting thing together, but that’s not important enough for me to Google, because here’s a clip of Beth accidentally grabbing Kat’s breast on Conan last night. And to then untrained mortal eye it looks like everyone shared a laugh and moved along, but what few… More »


Farrah Abraham’s Fake Boyfriend Had A Real Girlfriend This Whole Time

By: The Superficial / January 7, 2014

One of my favorite pastimes is watching Farrah Abraham’s lies epically fall apart with only the slightest of breezes because she’s a fucking idiot. So here’s Radar reporting that her fake boyfriend had a real girlfriend this whole time. Which will be fun to keep in mind if you find yourself watching Farrah still pretend… More »


Ke$ha Has An Eating Disorder Because Her Producer Called Her A Refrigerator

By: The Superficial / January 6, 2014

Over the weekend, Ke$ha announced she’s checked into rehab for an eating disorder which apparently is the result of her producer Dr. Luke saying she looks like a “fucking refrigerator.” So here’s that while I cross out, “Girl, I want to put cold cuts in you like a Kenmore,” from my list of pickup line… More »


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