Red Carpet

Still Don’t Call ScarJo ScarJo

The Superficial | April 8, 2014 - 1:59 pm

Back in 2011, Scarlett Johansson got pissed off about the nickname ScarJo, and now here’s ScarJo getting mad about ScarJo again while also shitting on JLo because apparently ScarJo doesn’t want to be equated with JLo who’s not very ScarJo. Via HuffPo:
“I associate that name with, like, pop stars. ‘It sounds tacky. It’s lazy… More »

Lady Gaga’s Demanding Photo Agencies Photoshop Her Pictures Now

The Superficial | April 8, 2014 - 12:21 pm

While Beyonce went the less subtle route of having her publicist demand websites remove unflattering photos of her, Lady Gaga’s people were smart enough to realize photo agencies would let you have sex with your kids if it meant an exclusive and started demanding pics be “enhanced” before they’re approved for publication. A process that… More »

Chris Martin Cheated On Gwyneth Paltrow With A Lowly Commoner

The Superficial | April 7, 2014 - 10:10 am

While Gwyneth Paltrow had the quiet poise and sophistication to conduct her affairs with captains of industry, Chris Martin has reportedly debased himself by sleeping with a common peasant. Page Six reports:

NBC staff have been buzzing about an affair Martin had after appearing as the musical guest on “Saturday Night Live“ in… More »

Hey, Look, Scarlett Johansson Made A Sequel To ‘Limitless’

The Superficial | April 3, 2014 - 2:00 pm

Here’s the trailer for Lucy starring Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow a young woman who gets slut-shamed by the Japanese into becoming Black Widow a walking Matrix with boobs, or something. (I shot my load with the Limitless headline. You got me.)

We Now Return To Prego-Boobs Already In ProgressMore »

Jennette McCurdy Got ‘Sam & Cat’ Cancelled

The Superficial | April 2, 2014 - 2:23 pm

Before I begin, wasn’t there a thing not too long ago where everyone was geeking out over how old 14-year-olds were looking? When the hell did that slam into reverse? Because it seems like every 21-year-old looks goddamn 12. It’s like Chris Hansen is taunting me… testing me… Anyway, back to some Nickelodeon show that… More »

Don’t Look At The Jennifer Love Hewitt. The Jennifer Love Hewitt Has Gone Bad.

The Superficial | April 2, 2014 - 11:08 am

Jennifer Love Hewitt has been in hiding ever since the “birth” of her “child” in November. Except here she is debuting her new maternity line yesterday and, goddammit, what happened here? And before anyone accuses me of body shaming, I’ll have you know I’m (also) talking about her face. This is almost Britney Spears level… More »

Farrah Abraham Writes Erotica Now

The Superficial | April 2, 2014 - 10:22 am

Like any Christian author paying his or her dues, Farrah Abraham has to get a trilogy of erotic romance novels out of her system before she can set herself to the task of instructing you, the Godless heathens, on how to raise your children in a manner befitting the Kingdom of Heaven. Which brings us… More »

Katy Perry Really Knows How To Make Men Jealous

The Superficial | April 1, 2014 - 11:20 am

Following up her decision to bang Riff Raff, Katy Perry continued her “Fuck You (For More Than Likely Cheating On Me With Kelly Monaco), John Mayer” tour over the weekend by telling E! News she plans to become a green-haired collector of fine arts, and, no, this is not an April Fool’s Joke. Switching Photo… More »

Good Morning, Emma Watson, And Other News

The Superficial | April 1, 2014 - 9:14 am

- Marvel apparently pulled a dump truck full of money up to Chris Evans’ house. [Lainey Gossip]
– Of course Johnny Depp is wearing Amber Heard’s engagement ring now. [Dlisted]
– Have you seen these boobs? Asking for a friend. [theCHIVE]
- Madonna is laughing! The Plague of Boils is at hand! [Fishwrapper]
- 8More »

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Conscious Uncoupling Was A Smokescreen? The F*ck You Say?!

The Superficial | March 31, 2014 - 2:50 pm

You might want to sit down for this. So you know how Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin announced they were consciously uncoupling making it look like they’re both super cool, meditative people whose marriage is on a deep, spiritual journey high above yours? Turns out they might have done that so you don’t find out… More »

Yes, Lea Michele, The Kids’ Choice Awards Is A Great Place To See Your Nipples

The Superficial | March 31, 2014 - 11:43 am

While appearing at The Humane Society Gala, an adult fundraising event, Joanna Krupa, of all people, had the social decorum to at least cover up her nipples with pasties. So with that in mind, here’s Lea Michele at the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards where I’m staring directly at her nipple. And people wonder why CoryMore »

Gwyneth Paltrow Thanks You For Your Support

The Superficial | March 28, 2014 - 12:14 pm

To us, the poor and downtrodden, it would seem like the entire Internet had a field day with Gwyneth Paltrow announcing she’s consciously uncoupled from Chris Martin and quitting acting because it’s much, much harder than being a mother who works 9 to 5. Except we’re seeing things through a plebeian paradigm of noncelestial happenstance… More »

Mila Kunis Is Definitely Pregnant, There’s No Denying It Anymore

The Superficial | March 28, 2014 - 10:38 am

“Is that my real daddy? Can it be?” – Mila Kunis’ fetus
Even though I posted about it, I never truly believed Mila Kunis is pregnant because, let’s be honest, we all read it on the Internet and the Internet is bullshit. Almost nothing on here is real. For God’s sake, Kim Kardashian isn’t even… More »

WTF Is Conscious Uncoupling?

The Superficial | March 26, 2014 - 12:06 pm

Yesterday, Gywneth Paltrow and Chris Martin shocked absolutely no one by announcing they’re separating. Except separating is a plebeian word beneath one of Madame GOOP’s station, so they’re calling it “conscious uncoupling” and providing reading material from new age therapists so that we, the swine and downtrodden, may better understand the evolutionary nature of their… More »

Scarlett Johansson’s Breasts Are Getting Larger By The Minute

The Superficial | March 21, 2014 - 8:00 am

Remember the other day when Scarlett Johansson defended Woody Allen?
Yeah, me neither. *slaps face against monitor* (Hold my calls.)
Photos: Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENNMore »

Lena Dunham Just Made The Most Sense About The Woody Allen Debacle

The Superficial | March 18, 2014 - 2:07 pm

While Scarlett Johansson insured there’ll be an Oscar-worthy project down the road the for her by defending Woody Allen to The Guardian, Lena Dunham has made the most surprisingly profound remarks to Marc Maron about the alleged molestation of Dylan Farrow and how that should reflect on Woody Allen’s art. So while you read that,… More »

Mick Jagger’s Girlfriend Hung Herself

The Superficial | March 17, 2014 - 1:55 pm

According to TMZ, Mick Jagger’s longtime girlfriend fashion designer L’Wren Scott was found hanging inside her apartment today. Even more surprising, police don’t suspect foul play despite the fact The Joker’s killed Mick Jagger’s girlfriend before. Remember when he stole Jerry Hall from Jack Palance and was all like, “Okay, so you’re an art thing,… More »

Scarlett Johansson Busted Out The Prego-Boobs

The Superficial | March 14, 2014 - 9:47 am

You can really tell Marvel’s been saying all the right words to Scarlett Johansson lately (Read: Solo Black Widow movie.) because here she is making with the prego-boobs at the Hollywood premiere of Captain America: The Winter Soldier last night after spending the day before not letting reporters ask about her pregnancy. And if you’re… More »

Good Morning, Hermione, And Other News

The Superficial | March 14, 2014 - 9:16 am

- Rooney Mara is your new Tiger Lily because why hire a real Native American? [Lainey Gossip]
- Michael Lohan’s baby mama got busted for DUI. Of course. [Dlisted]
- Things That Bounce Thursday is the GIF compilation you need. [theCHIVE]
– Here’s a chick puking on Lady GaGa’s tit. Yup. [Fishwrapper]
– You can… More »


The Superficial | March 13, 2014 - 11:14 am

Kristen Bell might be a shrill, over-entitled celebrity who equates paparazzi photos with child rape (which, fuck you, Jezebel, is the exact definition of hysterical), but here she is flashing her nude panties at the premiere of something or rather which will generate me a profitable amount of Internet clicks so I can spout off… More »

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