Red Carpet

The Breast of The Emmys: Sofia Vergara, Christina Hendricks & Sarah Silverman? Wait, What?

By: The Superficial / September 23, 2013
Now that I'm done geeking out about super alien man and the bald scientist he punches, let's get back to what really matters at the Emmys: Rich lady boobs. So here's Sofia Vergara, Christina Hendricks, and oddly enough Sarah Silverman who I sometimes forget is a woman that needs to … More »

Hey, Warner Bros, Here’s Your Lex Luthor

By: The Superficial / September 23, 2013
With the rumors of Bryan Cranston playing Lex Luthor in Batman Vs. Superman being shot down by reports that his first post-Breaking Bad role will be Trumbo, fanboys hoping for a Walter White Lex are obviously disappointed. So allow me to suggest an even better alternative: Damian Lewis, … More »

Miley Cyrus Pasties Nipple Crying Kardashians Midget Ass Bikini Twerk

By: The Superficial / September 22, 2013
The Emmys are happening right now, and while all of those people are being recognized for a year of hard work collaborating with their peers to make quality television, not a single one of them wore pasties or twerked all over a midget. So here's Miley Cyrus doing all those things plus … More »

Antoine Dodson Impregnated A Woman. Yes, That Antoine Dodson

By: The Superficial / September 19, 2013
Viral superstar Antoine Dodson already sold out homosexuals for a chicken sandwich, so it really shouldn't be that much of a surprise that he threw them even further under the bus by praying away his gay and inseminating his wife by ejaculating into her vagina just like all those boring stories … More »

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Talking About Her Vagina Again

By: The Superficial / September 18, 2013
While promoting Iron Man 3, Gwyneth Paltrow got shitfaced drunk and called into an Australian radio show where she elaborated on her comments to Ellen about shaving her 70s bush to make her ass window red carpet look work. So here she is on Ellen talking about her shorn lady drapes … More »

So Jennifer Aniston Really Is Pregnant (Probably)

By: The Superficial / September 18, 2013
Back in July, Jennifer Aniston was looking a little plumper in the baby pouch and then showed up to the premiere of We Are The Millers looking like this which she played off as her just eating too much and then pranced around in a bikini looking not-as-sperminated leaving the … More »

MISS AMERICA’S A GOTDANG TERRORIST!

By: The Superficial / September 16, 2013
Apparently something besides Breaking Bad was on last night, (What for? Who the fuck knows?) and it was the Miss America pageant which crowned Miss New York Nina Davuluri the winner opening a racist butthurt wormhole over the Internet because she's one of those brown looking people from the Middle East. Or, … More »

Taylor Momsen Is Still Doing That Topless Raccoon Eye Stuff, Everything’s Fine

By: The Superficial / September 13, 2013
Earlier in the week, Taylor Momsen showed up to New York Fashion Week (above) without her usual raccoon makeup on and everyone flipped their shit after they remembered/figured out it was her. Of course, there was a reason for that, and it's because her band The Pretty Reckless is going on tour which they're … More »

Everyone Hates Katherine Heigl

By: The Superficial / September 12, 2013
Shortly after filming Knocked Up, Katherine Heigl took a huge dump on the film calling it "sexist" despite the fact it catapulted her career. She later followed that up by shitting on the writers of Grey's Anatomy by not submitting herself for an Emmy because the writing wasn't good enough. However, her career was … More »

Jenny McCarthy Thought Donnie Wahlberg Was Gay

By: The Superficial / September 12, 2013
When Jenny McCarthy first met Donnie Wahlberg, she gave him her phone number which he didn't call right away to have sex with her, so clearly he's a faggot, thought the greatest medical mind of our generation. E! News reports: The couple first met in March on the set of McCarthy's … More »

Chuck Norris’ Thoughts On Syria Brought To You By Scarlett Johansson’s Breasts

By: The Superficial / September 11, 2013
In the spirit of the day, I provided these cleavagey photos of Scarlett Johansson so you can ignore everything that's happening here and learn not a goddamn thing from it. Just like 9/11! Whenever Chuck Norris sits down to a keyboard and meticulously maneuvers whatever faggot alphabet it's made of - "It starts … More »

Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve

By: The Superficial / September 11, 2013
Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve Alice Eve … More »

Alexander Skarsgard & Prince Harry Are Racing Each Other To The South Pole For Charity

By: The Superficial / September 11, 2013
Because there's been a lot of nips, maybe vaginas and giant, store-bought breasts lately, I thought I'd take a minute to give the ladies some eye.. some eye.. hold on a second. - *reaches down, palms out baby, hands it to Photo Boy, whispers "No, no, the one behind Quiznos," goes back … More »

Please Stop Looking Hot, Taylor Swift, You’re A Terrible Person And A Cancer

By: The Superficial / September 10, 2013
Taylor Swift is a petty and vindictive 23-year-old who young girls look up to as a role model, so naturally she teaches them to over-dramatize every interaction with men and stew in a jealous broth of hate for each and every break-up so they constantly act hysterically, if not bitchily at minimum. And … More »

Kate Winslet Deserves Her Own Post

By: The Superficial / September 10, 2013
To put it mildly, yesterday was a goddamn shitferno of insanity. And in the mix of Miley Cyrus' naked video, Miranda Kerr's nipples, Selena Gomez's (maybe) vagina, George Zimmerman be Zimmermanning, and Russell Brand's Nazi joke going more viral than anything on this dick joke tugboat has ever gone, … More »

Those Are Miranda Kerr’s Nipples

By: The Superficial / September 9, 2013
For the record, I will post other things today and have no idea why I bothered. You and I are in accord. Photos: Abaca USA/AKM-GSI, Getty … More »

Good Morning, Jojo, And Other News

By: The Superficial / September 9, 2013
- John Travolta has an official closet. No, really. [Lainey Gossip] - Charlie Hunnam will sell you on his pube-pulling chemistry now. [Dlisted] - Girls With Future Lower Back Problems [theCHIVE] - Taylor Swift's exes have had enough of her shit. [Fishwrapper] - Britney Spears has to … More »

Naomi Watts Looks Amazing

By: The Superficial / September 6, 2013
I can't remember the last time, or even any time, when I've said, "Hey, you know who's kind of hot? Naomi Watts." So here she is at the London premiere of Diana last night which will now be the backdrop of a recurring fantasy where I make a charming joke equating Princess Di's … More »

Wait, There Was An Engagement Ring In These Scarlett Johansson Pics? And A Dude?

By: The Superficial / September 5, 2013
Yesterday, we posted pics of Scarlett Johansson at the Venice Film Festival premiere of Under The Skin and was under the impression that the only important thing happening was her awesome breasts. Which is still true, but People somehow noticed she was also wearing what looked like an engagement ring which her … More »

Jack Nicholson Reportedly Retired From Acting

By: The Superficial / September 4, 2013
"Yay, more pussy for me." "Not on your life..." Jack Nicholson has openly admitted to doing mountains of cocaine over the years, so I'm willing to accept the possibility that he suffers from memory loss to the point that it's affected his acting, and that his new mission in life is to be Sean … More »

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