Red Carpet

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Children Won’t Ruin Your Authentic Spanish Wedding With Peasant Talk

By: The Superficial / November 21, 2013
Let me just start off by saying, yes, I completely understand and appreciate that teaching children to be multilingual at a young age improves cognition which is why Europeans stare at us the same way we watch Honey Boo Boo put more butter in her s'getti. That said, it still doesn't make it less bourgeoi… More »

Kelly Clarkson’s Pregnant, Wasn’t F*cking Around

By: The Superficial / November 20, 2013
Not even three weeks ago, Kelly Clarkson announced that she was going to ride the shit out of her husband who she'd only been married to for 10 days until he put a baby in her for Christmas. Which worked, so just assume he's dead now. He died. PEOPLE reports: The singer, 31, and her… More »

This Is A Post About Jennifer Lawrence’s Butt

By: The Superficial / November 19, 2013
A while back there was a big to-do over Jennifer Lawrence's butt, so here it is at last night's Hollywood premiere of The Hunger Games: Catching Fire for you to disseminate and inspect without reading a single word I've written down here. It's okay, it's fine. As long as YOU get what YOU want that'… More »

Courtney Stodden Knows What A Prostitution Sting Is, Right?

By: The Superficial / November 18, 2013
For some reason, Courtney Stodden was invited To The Badge & Eagle Gala to support the LAPD which should really concern the man who married her while she was only 16. In fact, I'd make sure she's not holding a copy of The Green Mile and/or talking to a sketch artist in any of these… More »

Jennifer Lawrence’s Side Boob Is Back

By: The Superficial / November 18, 2013
It's been four long days since we last posted Jennifer Lawrence's side boob. Morale was low. Faced with mutiny, I ordered Photo Boy to put down a horse and ration it among the men. What this accomplished I had not the time nor inclination to ponder for there were only two of us, and weMore »

We’ve Got Jennifer Lawrence Side Boob

By: The Superficial / November 14, 2013
Yesterday, someone bemoaned the presence of Courtney Stodden in light of a stark absence of Jennifer Lawrence. So to prove your cries do not fall upon the deaf ears of a cold, handsome Internet God, here's Jennifer Lawrence's side boob at the Rome Film Festival press conference for The Hunger Games: Catching Fire this morning… More »

The 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

By: The Superficial / November 14, 2013
Because we're serious, comprehensive journalists, here's the rest of The 2013 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show featuring everyone who's not Candice Swanepoel or that chick who won't shut up about her ex because they already got their own posts. Not that that means the rest of these models should commit suicide, but they probably shouldn't look… More »

Candice Swanepoel Won The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

By: The Superficial / November 14, 2013
In Scientology, anyone who undermines the teachings of the church is referred to as a Suppressive Person who must be excommunicated because they're also Hitler. Which seems like a silly practice from a silly religion, except it's probably not a bad idea for how you should treat anyone who tries to say the Victoria's SecretMore »

Taylor Swift Performed At The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show? The Taylor Swift?

By: The Superficial / November 14, 2013
If I had to choose the prudest person in the world to perform at The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, it'd be Taylor Swift followed by a nun in a chastity belt at a distant second. That said, Taylor does have an incredible body that I'll never have sex with in a thousand years which wa… More »

Jenna Jameson’s Doing Porn Again

By: The Superficial / November 12, 2013
I spend a lot of time criticizing America because it's a fuckbox full of dumb and guns, but at the end of the day, it's still a country where a person down on their luck always has the opportunity to film themselves getting banged for money. Even a person like Jenna Jameson who's done exactly… More »

Dear Charlie Sheen, You’re Charlie Sheen

By: The Superficial / November 11, 2013
When we last left the debacle over Charlie Sheen's twins that Denise Richards has been raising because their mother Brooke Mueller is a crack addict and their father is Charlie Sheen, Denise was refusing to continue temporary custody of the boys unless Brooke agreed to let them receive psychiatric counseling. A fair request considering they… More »

Selena Gomez In Lingerie, Anyone?

By: The Superficial / November 8, 2013
While Justin Bieber's busy getting filmed by the hookers his security team forgot to frisk, here's Selena Gomez posing in lingerie for Flaunt. And I can't be the only one who's getting a Natalie Portman in The Professional but with awesome breasts vibe from these. Although, it would explain why Chris Hansen is dangling from… More »

Methinks The Manwhore Doth Tongue LeAnn Rimes’ Face Too Much

By: The Superficial / November 6, 2013
"Wait, did you say you've been eating?" LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian were rumored to be getting a divorce recently because Eddie cheated on Brandi Glanville with LeAnn, so eventually that's going to be right. Except here they are sucking face at the premiere of The Best Man Holiday so Eddie looks like a family… More »

Wear A Condom, Wilmer Valderrama, Wear A Condom Now!

By: The Superficial / November 6, 2013
Because if you put a cap and gown on her, she can still pass for 17, Demi Lovato is having sex again with Wilmer Valderrama who should probably read her latest interview in Latina magazine before the next time they play, "Rickety Van's Candy Promise." “I’m a Texas girl, so my instinct is to have… More »

Jesus Christ, Jaimie Alexander

By: The Superficial / November 5, 2013
Back in April, Gwyneth Paltrow showed up to the Iron Man 3 premiere with her ass hanging out, paving the way for 800 interviews about sacrificing her 70s bush for the sake of fashion. Except none of that exists outside the minds of peasants anymore because here's Jaimie Alexander at the premiere of Thor: TheMore »

Welcome To 18, Kendall, Hope You Like Porn

By: The Superficial / November 4, 2013
Kendall Jenner turned 18 yesterday, and in honor of her family's rich heritage, several pornographic studios have offered to pay her several million dollars to have sex in front of a camera so people on the Internet can masturbate to it and possibly even purchase her after said masturbation, as is tradition. TMZ reports: At… More »

So Jaimie Alexander Might Be Wonder Woman

By: The Superficial / November 4, 2013
While promoting Thor: The Dark World at Comikaze over the weekend, Jaimie Alexander made some comments to Forbes that heavily suggest she might be Wonder Woman in Batman Vs. Superman. Also I spent my entire morning writing about Courtney Stodden, so now it's comic book time, AND YOU'LL LIKE IT: Then, things got even more… More »

Lindsay Lohan’s Banging Floyd Mayweather Jr.

By: The Superficial / November 1, 2013
Here's Lindsay Lohan and Floyd Mayweather Jr. hosting a Halloween party at Foxwoods Resort Casino last night where either he's getting his money's worth or they're dating now. And if you're thinking to yourself, "Wait a minute, doesn't Floyd Mayweather Jr. have a well-documented history of domestic violence," yes. Yes, he does. So on that… More »

Heidi Klum Still Owns Halloween

By: The Superficial / November 1, 2013
Every year for Halloween, Heidi Klum holds Rick Baker hostage until he transforms her into a reality-bending creation that unleashes the full power of Samhain in hopes of one day resurrecting Herr Fuhrer. So here's Heidi making Guy Pearce in Prometheus look like fucking clown shoes, and then God willing, going home and asking her… More »

Much Better, Kelly Ripa

By: The Superficial / November 1, 2013
Yesterday, Kelly Ripa wore a Miley Cyrus costume even though Paris Hilton and Crystal Hefner did the same thing over the weekend leaving Kelly with plenty of time to rethink every decision she's ever made in her life. So here she is showing a little more originality by dressing up as Gemma from Sons ofMore »

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