Red Carpet

Lady GaGa Got Naked To Launch Her New Album, How Entirely Original

By: The Superficial / October 25, 2013
Because Lady GaGa is apparently just going to pretend Miley Cyrus doesn't exist - *writes that down* - here she is promoting her new album Artpop by appearing before a crowd in Berlin this morning and letting them know the Angel of Nips is upon them. Nobody really knew what that … More »

Miranda Kerr Is Single

By: The Superficial / October 25, 2013
We're still two months away from the Baby Jesus' birthday, and yet he's already bestowed a gift upon us by breaking up Miranda Kerr and Legolas even though we kind of murdered his ass then went, "Haha, remember all that stuff he said about poor people? Fuck that." E! News reports: … More »

Kanye Doesn’t Want A Prenup, Thinks They’re ‘Tacky’

By: The Superficial / October 23, 2013
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West got engaged Monday night, and if you're a rational person with even the slightest knowledge of Kim, you'd assume there's going to be a prenup to protect at least some of his money from the most highly successful and obvious gold dig of our generation. More »

Pauly D Has A Love Child

By: The Superficial / October 22, 2013
"Shit, is that a meteor? Did I do that?!" I used to always joke that Jersey Shore was the more responsible show than Teen Mom because at least the spray-tanned guidos weren't actively shitting kids into the gene pool. But then Snooki ruined all that, and now Pauly … More »

Dakota Johnson Wants To Quit ‘Fifty Shades of Grey,’ Too, Now

By: The Superficial / October 16, 2013
Now that Charlie Hunnam's bailed, current Anastasia Steele Dakota Johnson, who's kind of got a young Gillian Anderson thing going on - *holds hand back from writing 'I Want To Believe' on penis* - is also thinking of jumping ship on Fifty Shades of Grey. Or "pulling tamp," as I'm now … More »

Aaron Taylor-Johnson Is Probably Christian Grey Now Because His Wife’s The Director

By: The Superficial / October 15, 2013
Oh, shit, I hear panties dropping already! SLAM. Four years ago, 19-year-old Aaron Taylor-Johnson, then just Aaron Johnson (Oh, yeah, he took her name.), started dating his 42-year-old Nowhere Boy director Sam Taylor-Wood before the two eventually married grossing everyone right the hell out. And, now, to make their … More »

How Dare You Enslave Madonna With Your Mortal Texting Etiquette?!

By: The Superficial / October 11, 2013
Seen here with director Steve McQueen at the New York Film Festival, Madonna was invited to a special screening of 12 Years A Slave where she proceeded to text the entire time and marked those who would dare disrupt her unholy missives, according to Page Six: A spy said … More »

Gina Carano Banging Superman Again Is A Post With Celebrity Breasts In It

By: The Superficial / October 10, 2013
I'm going to be completely honest with you, it's a fucking wasteland on the celebrity beat right now. Just wait until you see my next post [Update: Right here.] which is the hottest story on the Internet right now and will put things entirely in perspective. In the meantime, here's a post about … More »

The Ridiculous Shit Miley Cyrus Wore Now

By: The Superficial / October 9, 2013
Because Miley Cyrus can't go 24 hours without reminding everybody running it so far into the ground she could jerk off China that she's not Hannah Montana anymore, here she is at her album release party last night still sticking her tongue out so I'll complete my transformation into a crotchety … More »

Lea Michele & Ryan Murphy Banned Dianna Agron From ‘Glee’ Cory Monteith Tribute Episode

By: The Superficial / October 8, 2013
In case you were wondering if Cory Monteith's death would make Lea Michele less of a diva cunt, the answer is no because she's Mean Girls-ing Dianna Agron out of the Glee tribute with the help of Ryan Murphy who hates that ish, too. In related news, … More »

The Hottest Olsen Is Scarlet Witch In ‘Avengers 2′

By: The Superficial / October 3, 2013
Elizabeth Olsen has already grown up into the hot, non-Muppet-on-heroin-looking young woman everyone hoped and dream her sisters would be once they hit 18, and now she's besting them again by being cast in the premiere superhero franchise of the moment instead of murdering the best actor in one. More »

Ronan Farrow Is Probably Frank Sinatra’s Son

By: The Superficial / October 2, 2013
In a new interview with Vanity Fair, Mia Farrow not-so-subtly admits her son Ronan's real father is Frank Sinatra and not Woody Allen who I like to imagine took the news well. "So, technically that would make him adopted, right? And he always had those blue eyes... Soon-Yi, pack … More »

It’s Time For Another Wonder Woman Fan-Film

By: The Superficial / October 1, 2013
Because people really want a Wonder Woman movie, here's the latest fan-film by Rainfall Films starring Rileah Vanderbilt as a less Danish Princess Diana and a more stabbing minotaurs in the face one. Of course, all of this might have to do with the rumor that Wonder Woman has a … More »

Farrah Abraham Only Made $10,000 For Her Sex Tape That’s Really A Porno

By: The Superficial / October 1, 2013
When Farrah Abraham's sex tape that was a really a porno she deliberately shot with James Deen for money was "sold" to Vivid, she claimed she made $1 million which absolutely nobody believed. And rightly so because the amount was $10,000. She made $10,000 to get banged … More »

Kaley Cuoco’s Engaged Because F*ck You, Superman

By: The Superficial / September 27, 2013
For those of you don't watch CBS sitcoms because you haven't given up on life, Kaley Cuoco is probably best known for being the first chick Henry Cavill banged after Man of Steel hit theaters because he saw her on TV once and wondered what her vagina would be like. More »

Melissa Gorga Was ‘Taken Out Of Context’ When She Wrote Husbands Should Rape Their Wives

By: The Superficial / September 26, 2013
Yesterday, the Internet had a goddamn field day with Melissa Gorga's marriage advice book Love Italian Style considering the following passage she included using Joe's own words basically advocates marital rape. Via Jezebel: Men, I know you think your woman isn't the type who wants to be … More »

Clarissa Explains All The Drugs She Did

By: The Superficial / September 26, 2013
I've always just considered Melissa Joan Hart one of the squeaky clean celebrities which probably explains why she's releasing a book titled Melissa Explains It All about her drug-fueled party days so I'll look at her in a different light and tell her to leave her husband. It's so transparent, it's adorable. Anyway, here … More »

Nicolas Cage Has A Ponytail, Somehow

By: The Superficial / September 24, 2013
Here's Nicolas Cage sporting a ponytail at LAX yesterday which is amazing because here is 23 days ago at the Venice Film Festival with a not-ponytail. Although, in fairness he could just be going method for Every Cowboy Sings A Sad, Sad Song: The Bret Michaels Story and booked a flight to hepatitis. More »

The 65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards

By: The Superficial / September 23, 2013
We've already spent way too much time on the Emmys, so here are the rest of the red carpet pics featuring such classics as Rapidly De-Aging Skylar White, an act of terrorism, Julianne Hough & The See-Through Butt, My Dick Is Huge I Can Laugh However I Want, Haha! … More »

The Breast of The Emmys: Sofia Vergara, Christina Hendricks & Sarah Silverman? Wait, What?

By: The Superficial / September 23, 2013
Now that I'm done geeking out about super alien man and the bald scientist he punches, let's get back to what really matters at the Emmys: Rich lady boobs. So here's Sofia Vergara, Christina Hendricks, and oddly enough Sarah Silverman who I sometimes forget is a woman that needs to … More »

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