Red Carpet

Good Morning, Adriana Lima & Karlie Kloss, And Other News

By: The Superficial / December 10, 2013
- There's a #MondayBunday now?! 'Tis truly is a magical season. [theCHIVE] - Miley Cyrus' hair looks like this now. [Lainey Gossip] - Ali Lohan is trying to be a singer again. [Dlisted] - Why I Believe Jameis Winston's Accuser [Deadspin] - Kim Kardashian thinks she's Elizabeth… More »

Gal Gadot Is Officially Wonder Woman

By: The Superficial / December 4, 2013
One of the worst kept secrets about Batman Vs. Superman is that it would feature a cameo by Wonder Woman. A Wonder Woman who will not be played by Jaimie Alexander because apparently even her breasts are too big for whatever the hell they're trying to do here. Variety… More »

Just Go, Jessica Simpson, Be Free

By: The Superficial / December 4, 2013
Jessica Simpson, you don't have to do this to yourself anyway. You're a Chili's girl trapped in a sushi and heroin chic world. Everyone knows it, and that's okay. It's who you are. Also what you are is crazy fucking rich. You shouldn't have to stand on another red carpet sucking and pushing… More »

Are Hayden Panettiere’s Implants Supposed To Look Like That?

By: The Superficial / November 25, 2013
After a rough take-off, I grew to love Hayden Panettiere's implants, but not to the point where I forgot she's still a woman with other body parts for me to objectify. It was a beautiful symbiotic relationship if there ever was one. Except something's going terribly wrong… More »

The 2013 American Music Awards

By: The Superficial / November 25, 2013
Here's the rest of The 2013 American Music Awards which is almost entirely an excuse to post pics of Aubrey O'Day's breasts because we have Christ in our hearts. Then again, the presence of Ke$ha suggests maybe it's Satan. I'm not a priest. Photos: Getty… More »

Katy Perry’s Breasts! You Came Back (Kind Of)!

By: The Superficial / November 25, 2013
Katy Perry has been keeping her breasts under wraps lately because she's a very serious artist now who can't be taken very seriously if her giant tits are all up in your face. Which is obviously a bullshit excuse because it makes no sense, so I'll just come right out and… More »

Oh, What’s That, Lady GaGa? You’re Marilyn Monroe And R. Kelly Is Obama?

By: The Superficial / November 25, 2013
MILEY CYRUS HAS A GIANT CAT PHOTO THAT ALSO WORKS AS A VAGINA JOKE. Get back in your egg. Photos: Getty… More »

This Chick Says She’s Christina Aguilera

By: The Superficial / November 25, 2013
Below is Christina Aguilera at last year's American Music Awards. And above is one of her arms stretched out with four limbs, a head and tits because science is only concerned with if it could do something instead of being worried if it should. This is how Skynet happens, people. More »

Jennifer Lawrence Gave Her Last ‘Catching Fire’ Interview, Shh… There, There, Internet

By: The Superficial / November 22, 2013
Jennifer Lawrence has given a series of interviews while promoting The Hunger Games: Catching Fire which we've covered exactly one of and almost entirely focused on her side boob and butt. But I did write about the poop one! Let the record… More »

Your Dad Wants To Have A Talk With You About His New Girlfriend, Courtney Stodden

By: The Superficial / November 22, 2013
Come on in, son, have a seat. Listen, I know you're all grown up now and have a family of your own, but that doesn't mean you still can't have a talk with your old man. As you know, it's been a few months since your mother passed, and well, I've met somebody. Have you… More »

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Children Won’t Ruin Your Authentic Spanish Wedding With Peasant Talk

By: The Superficial / November 21, 2013
Let me just start off by saying, yes, I completely understand and appreciate that teaching children to be multilingual at a young age improves cognition which is why Europeans stare at us the same way we watch Honey Boo Boo put more butter in her s'getti. That said, it still doesn't make it… More »

Kelly Clarkson’s Pregnant, Wasn’t F*cking Around

By: The Superficial / November 20, 2013
Not even three weeks ago, Kelly Clarkson announced that she was going to ride the shit out of her husband who she'd only been married to for 10 days until he put a baby in her for Christmas. Which worked, so just assume he's dead now. He died. PEOPLE reports: The… More »

This Is A Post About Jennifer Lawrence’s Butt

By: The Superficial / November 19, 2013
A while back there was a big to-do over Jennifer Lawrence's butt, so here it is at last night's Hollywood premiere of The Hunger Games: Catching Fire for you to disseminate and inspect without reading a single word I've written down here. It's okay, it's fine. As long as YOU get… More »

Courtney Stodden Knows What A Prostitution Sting Is, Right?

By: The Superficial / November 18, 2013
For some reason, Courtney Stodden was invited To The Badge & Eagle Gala to support the LAPD which should really concern the man who married her while she was only 16. In fact, I'd make sure she's not holding a copy of The Green Mile and/or talking… More »

Jennifer Lawrence’s Side Boob Is Back

By: The Superficial / November 18, 2013
It's been four long days since we last posted Jennifer Lawrence's side boob. Morale was low. Faced with mutiny, I ordered Photo Boy to put down a horse and ration it among the men. What this accomplished I had not the time nor inclination to ponder for there were only two… More »

We’ve Got Jennifer Lawrence Side Boob

By: The Superficial / November 14, 2013
Yesterday, someone bemoaned the presence of Courtney Stodden in light of a stark absence of Jennifer Lawrence. So to prove your cries do not fall upon the deaf ears of a cold, handsome Internet God, here's Jennifer Lawrence's side boob at the Rome Film Festival press conference for… More »

The 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

By: The Superficial / November 14, 2013
Because we're serious, comprehensive journalists, here's the rest of The 2013 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show featuring everyone who's not Candice Swanepoel or that chick who won't shut up about her ex because they already got their own posts. Not that that means the rest of these models should commit… More »

Candice Swanepoel Won The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

By: The Superficial / November 14, 2013
In Scientology, anyone who undermines the teachings of the church is referred to as a Suppressive Person who must be excommunicated because they're also Hitler. Which seems like a silly practice from a silly religion, except it's probably not a bad idea for how you should treat anyone who… More »

Taylor Swift Performed At The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show? The Taylor Swift?

By: The Superficial / November 14, 2013
If I had to choose the prudest person in the world to perform at The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, it'd be Taylor Swift followed by a nun in a chastity belt at a distant second. That said, Taylor does have an incredible body that I'll never have sex with i… More »

Jenna Jameson’s Doing Porn Again

By: The Superficial / November 12, 2013
I spend a lot of time criticizing America because it's a fuckbox full of dumb and guns, but at the end of the day, it's still a country where a person down on their luck always has the opportunity to film themselves getting banged for money. Even a person like Jenna Jameson who'… More »

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