Red Carpet

Stop Giving Lindsay Lohan Money, You Idiots

The Superficial / June 3, 2014

Lindsay Lohan agreed to appear at an AIDS charity event and in return demanded first class flight and hotel accommodations along with the biggest dressing room which was inexplicably provided, so you’ll never guess what happened next. Page Six reports:
Lindsay Lohan was a no-show at Saturday’s Life Ball in Vienna, Austria.
“At the beginning… More »

Yup, Rihanna’s Naked Under There

The Superficial / June 3, 2014

Jonah Hill got caught calling a pap a faggot, so I’m going to save my word-juice for that, and immediately get out of the way of Rihanna and her clearly visible nipples from last night’s CFDA Awards because exactly five people are reading this, and four of you want to tell everybody how your aunt… More »

Jonah Hill Called A Paparazzo A ‘F*ggot’, This Jonah Hill Right Here

The Superficial / June 3, 2014

Jonah Hill looks like this whenever he’s around Leonardo DiCaprio and makes box office bets that end with him kissing Channing Tatum’s penis which makes him one of the last people who should walk around going Alec Baldwin on the paparazzi. Which is exactly what he did over the weekend when he yelled, “Suck my… More »

Brad Pitt Will ‘Stomp’ Vitalii Sediuk If He Goes For Another Lady’s Crotch

The Superficial / June 3, 2014

Last week, Brad Pitt was reportedly punched in the face by Ukrainian comedian Vitalii Sediuk whose schtick is usually burying his face in celebrity crotches on the red carpet. Which, according to Brad Pitt, is what actually happened until he was the one who punched. /heisenberg People reports:

“I was at the end… More »

Sofia Vergara Is Single. Again.

The Superficial / June 2, 2014

Sofia Vergara’s now-former fiance Nick Loeb is a violent douchebag, so it really shouldn’t come as a surprise that they’ve broken up again after being reunited in a cave. (Yup.) As for what happened this time, I’m sure she finally got fed up with his violent douchebaggery. Or shilling salad condiments at the White House. More »

Mariah Carey’s Cleavage Is For The Children Or Something

Photo Boy / May 30, 2014

Posted by Photo Boy

So remember earlier when Fish posted this great video of super talented actors doing funny impressions of each other, because they’re beloved and humble people, whose impromptu moments during what is surely a grueling press tour provide a little insight that they aren’t complete dicks or egomaniacs on the… More »

Uma Thurman’s Toes Are Quentin Tarantino’s Now

The Superficial / May 29, 2014

Uma Thurman is barefoot in these photos which is exactly all the evidence I need to believe she’s rebounded with Quentin Tarantino after leaving French financier Arpad Busson last month. You could’ve shown me footage of Quentin’s penis visibly in Uma’s vagina, and I still would’ve said, “Yeah, but where are the feet?” I know… More »

Gwyneth Paltrow: ‘Reading Mean Internet Comments Is Just Like War’

The Superficial / May 29, 2014

(l to r) 1. Private Witherspoon, a 20-year-veteran who survived several online jokes about her chin, but in body only. Her family says she’s never been the same person since and often suffers from night terrors and alcohol abuse. 2. A pretentious cunt.

In my haste to slap together a link post thi… More »

Brad Pitt Got Punched In The Face

The Superficial / May 29, 2014

Vitalii Sediuk is a Ukrainian comedian who over the past few years has managed to kiss Will Smith, crash Adele’s Grammy speech, bury his face in Leonardo DiCaprio’s crotch and not even two weeks ago he shoved his head up Ugly Betty’s dress. And so for his next trick, he decided to take the more… More »

Toni Braxton Thinks God Gave Her Son Autism Because She Had An Abortion? Holy Shit

The Superficial / May 22, 2014

Originally, this was supposed to be a post about Phil Robertson preaching more homophobic bullshit on Easter Sunday, but then I found this Toni Braxton item which is way more ridiculous than some Duck Dynasty idiot knowing he has a blank check from the Redneck Bank of America and cashing that bitch in. So here’… More »

Angelina Jolie Just Pissed In Gwyneth Paltrow’s Organic Quinoa Cereal

The Superficial / May 22, 2014

Back in March, Gwyneth Paltrow complained about her plight as a working mother because one time she had to go to Wisconsin for a week and you have no idea how that hard that is. Although, in her defense, she did attempt to walk back those comments albeit while simultaneously dubbing herself a struggling singleMore »

Jessica Chastain: Your New ‘True Detective’ Lady?

The Superficial / May 21, 2014

According to Nerdist, Jessica Chastain has been offered the lead role in season two of True Detective, but has yet to accept, so just assume she’s making sure her character says awesome shit like, “A man’s game costs a man’s price,” and/or makes bitching beer can figures:
Recent rumors have stated series creator Nic Pizzolatto… More »

Lindsay Lohan’s Miscarriage Excuse Worked, It Actually Worked

The Superficial / May 20, 2014

If Lindsay Lohan were you or I, she would’ve lied about having a miscarriage in court documents and subsequently found herself guilty of perjury. Instead, she was handed $150,000 and sent packing to Cannes because God is dead. TMZ reports:
According to new legal docs, Lindsay’s clothing label 6126 struck the settlement agreement this week… More »

The 2014 Billboard Music Awards

The Superficial / May 19, 2014

Everyone that’s anyone (Read: Blake Lively’s breasts) is at Cannes right now, but then again, timing isn’t exactly this year’s Billboard Music Awards’ strong suit. So here’s some barely interesting people on the red carpet who didn’t get their own post by surprisingly not having semen on them which is probably the greatest compliment I’ll… More »

Kesha Looks Remarkably Un-Kesha-Like

The Superficial / May 19, 2014

Originally, the title of this post was going to be, “STFU, That’s Not Kesha,” because for the most part, Kesha (The dollar sign’s where demons hide and won’t let you eat.) looked almost nothing like Kesha. But then as you progress through the gallery, the gold tooth starts taking over which is why it’s alway… More »

Jesus Christ Legs, Blake Lively

The Superficial / May 16, 2014

Here’s Blake Lively continuing to own the shit out of Cannes after being locked in a closet by Ryan Reynolds all these months. Which is why I have to violate this restraining order and rescue her now that she’s free. The judge will under- *gets tackled by PreCrime unit*

Are Those Diamond Boobs? More »

Zac Efron Might Be Your New Marvel Person

The Superficial / May 15, 2014

Last year, Latino Review reported that Zac Efron and Ryan Gosling were up for the roles of Han Solo and/or Luke Skywalker’s son(s) which did not happen at all. But this time, they’re super serious that Zac Efron has met with Marvel about playing.. something. Unleash The Speculator!

We can exclusively report that… More »

And Now For The Part Where I Completely Lose My Shit Over Blake Lively

The Superficial / May 15, 2014

This woman gives me a fucking boner. I don’t know how any of you have managed to live your lives without that knowledge, but let it be a testament to your fortitude and sheer grit. Unless you’re Hilary Duff, in which, case I’ve never seen Blake Lively before in my life. Baby, I can change! More »

Chris Martin Is Banging Alexa Chung Already

The Superficial / May 14, 2014

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin announced their conscious uncoupling barely two months ago, so that’s more than enough time for him to start up showing up at bars with Alexa Chung. Radar reports:

An eyewitness noticed the Brits together in a New York City bar on May 6, and as the couple got… More »

Ellen Page Really Knows How To Make Bryan Singer Sound Innocent

The Superficial / May 12, 2014

In a new profile for The Hollywood Reporter, Ellen Page opens up about her decision to come out of the closet and reinventing her acting career after spending the past few years battling depression. She also inexplicably – and candidly – answers a question about the Bryan Singer rape accusations instead of letting a publicist… More »

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