Red Carpet

Mick Jagger’s Girlfriend Hung Herself

By: The Superficial / March 17, 2014
According to TMZ, Mick Jagger's longtime girlfriend fashion designer L'Wren Scott was found hanging inside her apartment today. Even more surprising, police don't suspect foul play despite the fact The Joker's killed Mick Jagger's girlfriend before. Remember when he stole Jerry Hall from… More »

Scarlett Johansson Busted Out The Prego-Boobs

By: The Superficial / March 14, 2014
You can really tell Marvel's been saying all the right words to Scarlett Johansson lately (Read: Solo Black Widow movie.) because here she is making with the prego-boobs at the Hollywood premiere of Captain America: The Winter Soldier last night after spending the day before… More »

Good Morning, Hermione, And Other News

By: The Superficial / March 14, 2014
- Rooney Mara is your new Tiger Lily because why hire a real Native American? [Lainey Gossip] - Michael Lohan's baby mama got busted for DUI. Of course. [Dlisted] - Things That Bounce Thursday is the GIF compilation you need. [theCHIVE] - Here's a chick puking on Lady GaGa'… More »


By: The Superficial / March 13, 2014
Kristen Bell might be a shrill, over-entitled celebrity who equates paparazzi photos with child rape (which, fuck you, Jezebel, is the exact definition of hysterical), but here she is flashing her nude panties at the premiere of something or rather which will generate me a profitable amount… More »

Teresa Giudice Told Her Kids She’s Going To Jail While Filming ‘Real Housewives’

By: The Superficial / March 6, 2014
Reality television is a shithole inhabited by shitheads doing shitty things for shitty people to watch, so it really shouldn't come as a surprise that Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa Giudice decided to exploit the most traumatic moment in her children's live… More »

Kanye West Wants Kim Kardashian To Stop Being An International Hooker

By: The Superficial / March 5, 2014
"Now that my lovely assistant Betsy Bovine has gathered you all here, let's kill The Bat! Wack! WACK-WACK-WACK-WACK!" Last week, Kim Kardashian accepted $500,000 of Richard Lugner's money to be his date to Vienna's annual Opera Ball because her mother raised her to be a prostitute, and I can't… More »

An Open Letter From Justin #BBare To Drake On The Subject of Dat Ass

By: The Superficial / March 4, 2014
Dearest Drake (ak-47-a Wheelchair Jimmy), It has come to the attention of I, Justin Felonius B-Bare, Canada's One and Only Darkest Son, that you have been making references to da ass of one Selena Gomez who I, not even 24 hours ago, called a most… More »

Scarlett Johansson’s Pregnant (For Real This Time)

By: The Superficial / March 4, 2014
For those of you wondering why the hell Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive would resort to shilling sugar water for a company that operates a factory in a contested hotbed of religious infighting, it turns out Scarlett Johansson is five months pregnant, and this time isn't the work of… More »

No Miranda Kerrs Left Behind And Other News

By: The Superficial / March 4, 2014
- Charlize Theron and Sean Penn are doing red carpets now. [Lainey Gossip] - Reese Witherspoon is a powerful (pregnant) wizard. [Dlisted] - Things Are Getting Awfully Squishy Around Here [theCHIVE] - Kristin Davis is sorry about Sex and The City. [Fishwrapper] - Lupita Nyong'o photobombed the… More »

Justin #Bbare: World’s Most Elephant Shakesbeard

By: The Superficial / March 3, 2014
'Fore we even get started up here, let the platinum records show that my boy B-Bare is the stone cold, numba one pussy slayer. Bitches be gettin' wet just thinkin' 'bout him, and he be wettin' them bitches just thinkin' 'bout them. It's a wizardry y'all don't know nothin' bout which… More »

Christina Hendricks Can’t Get A Breast Reduction

By: The Superficial / March 3, 2014
Here's Christina Hendricks looking noticeably less chesty at Elton John's Oscar party which means she either got a breast reduction or we have no fucking clue how female undergarments work. (I didn't believe that last one either. *resumes trying to unhook bra from mannequin* C'mon...) The important thing is nobody made… More »

The 86th Annual Academy Awards

By: The Superficial / March 3, 2014
I pretty much made my feelings on the Oscars known last night - Although, kudos to Rust Cohle for his work as an undercover AIDS patient. - so here are the best red carpet pics Photo Boy could find while I sat in the corner making beer can men and mumbling… More »

Angelina Jolie’s New Boobs Have Powerful Nipples

By: The Superficial / March 3, 2014
By the end of February, even Hollywood's sick of awards show, so here's The 2014 Independent Film Spirit Awards which happens every year the night before the Oscars. I don't know what exactly separates the two events, but I do know that Angelina Jolie showed up with her… More »

What’s That ‘Service’ Where A Dude Pays A Chick To ‘Escort’ Him? Don’t Tell Me, It’s Right On The Tip Of My Tongue.

By: Photo Boy / February 28, 2014
"I'm so sorry sir, this one seems to be malfunctioning. Don't worry, we're always prepared. KYLIEEEEEE!!" Posted by Photo Boy I know, it's two Kardashian posts in a row, but when Kim gets paid half a million dollars by a creepy old dude like Richard Lugner and claims it's just for attending… More »

Katy Perry Dumped John Mayer

By: The Superficial / February 26, 2014
"AAAAAHHHHHHHH." "Yeah, we're still not getting married." Over the past few weeks, there's been rumor after rumor about Katy Perry getting engaged to John Mayer except now E! News is reporting she dumped his ass which I'm sure had nothing to do with a press campaign to box him… More »

Lili Simmons Is Your New Naked Chick From ‘True Detective’

By: The Superficial / February 25, 2014
True Detective is the goddamn highlight of my week, and probably the greatest written, acted, and directed season of television that any of us will ever see. Which is why I hate to reduce it to just another show where hot chicks get naked, but I'd also hate to not have… More »

Robin Thicke & Paula Patton Are Separating, I Can’t Imagine Why

By: The Superficial / February 25, 2014
Yesterday, Robin Thicke and Paula Patton announced they're separating which seems odd for a couple in a totally "chill" open marriage because it's not like that's a concept entirely based on at least one person being tired of fucking the other. It has all the elements for success. People… More »

Remember How Christina Aguilera Got Really Skinny? That’s All Over Now

By: The Superficial / February 21, 2014
Sometime around April of last year, Christina Aguilera got crazy skinny after looking perpetually pregnant for most of 2012 and almost ruining The Voice in the process. Except, good news, she is pregnant now presumably because no one gave a shit about her engagement announcement… More »

How Many Affairs Is Gwyneth Paltrow Having?

By: The Superficial / February 19, 2014
Despite having Chris Martin's initial tattooed on her pubic bone, Defamer (via former Gawker editor's Neetzan Zimmerman's new startup app Whisper) is reporting that Gwyneth Paltrow had or is having an affair with Kevin Yorn. Whether that's on top of or in place of the… More »

Michelle Rodriguez Is Banging Cara Delevingne

By: The Superficial / February 19, 2014
Presumably because Vin Diesel always talks about cars when they do it, or she has amnesia again (Damn your undercover missions, Paul Walker. DAMN THEM TO HELL.), Michelle Rodriguez confirmed to The Mirror that she's dating Cara Delevingne. Which is cool, it's 2014. Lesbians be… More »

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