Red Carpet

Angelina Jolie’s New Boobs Are Set To ‘Promote’

By: The Superficial / May 7, 2014

Here’s Angelina Jolie’s new boobs at the Paris photo call for Maleficent, a movie I haven’t paid much attention to because it looks a helluva lot like Snow White And The Huntsman, but without the chances of Kristen Stewart getting her pussy licked by the director. You gotta do better than that, Disney. I’m a… More »


Seth Rogen Hates The Shit Out of Justin Bieber

By: The Superficial / May 6, 2014

Now that we’ve spent almost the entire day looking at beautiful rich people in expensive designer clothes that doesn’t even cover their butt cracks, here’s Seth Rogen explaining to Howard Stern just how deep and palpable his hatred of Justin Bieber is. Via Huffington Post:

“I’ve met him a few times. He’s a… More »


The 2014 MET Gala: Sexy People In Fancy Clothes That Cost More Than Your House

By: The Superficial / May 6, 2014

So I can move on with my life and find out if other people are showing their boobs at other places, here’s the rest of The 2014 MET Gala featuring the return of Blake Lively’s breasts (I left you for Hilary Duff. Don’t make this weird.), Emma Stone who’s apparently done with her Nosferatu phase,… More »


MET Gala 2014: WTF Happened Here?

By: The Superficial / May 6, 2014

Because Photo Boy and I know jackshit about fashion – *fingers hole in Iron Man t-shirt* – here’s our gallery of the most questionable outfits from last night MET Gala punctuated by Kate Upton’s huge breasts which are making her getup look less and less ridiculous by the second. In fact, is she glowing to… More »


Of Course Kim Kardashian Flashed Her Panties Before The MET Gala

By: The Superficial / May 6, 2014

Kim Kardashian had been banned from the MET Gala for years, but that all changed last year (kind of) when Kris Jenner flushed her birth control pills down the toilet the second Kanye West’s filthy rich penis started going in and out of her daughter. It’s a tender moment in any mother’s life. So here’… More »


Look Into Lea Michele’s Breasts, Children, Look Into Them Or DIE

By: The Superficial / May 5, 2014

Lea Michele has yet to find a children’s-themed red carpet she can’t show way too much tit on, so here she is at the premiere of Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return showing way too much tit. Because after sitting through a kids movie featuring the voice talents of Jim Belushi, there’s nothing parents love more… More »


Jessica Simpson’s Breasts Won The White House Correspondents’ Dinner

By: The Superficial / May 5, 2014

In honor of Bill Clinton, we’re going to get in and out of the White House Correspondents’ Dinner as soon as I figure out where its vagina is so I can stash this cigar. (Also, Barack Obama didn’t make with the weekly handjobs so I’d denounce Jesus Christ as my personal lord and savior. That’… More »


Rose McGowan Wore This To The White House And Other News

By: The Superficial / May 5, 2014

- Anna Kendrick Should Replace Craig Ferguson: A Proposal. [Lainey Gossip]

- Kaley Cuoco thinks the house she bought from Khloe Kardashian is cursed. [Dlisted]

– You are now entering The Hip Bone Zone. [theCHIVE]

- Adam Levine apparently can look douchier. Who knew? [Fishwrapper]

- FunnyMore »


The 2014 iHeartRadio Music Awards

By: Photo Boy / May 2, 2014

Posted by Photo Boy

As far as I can tell from these photos, The iHeart Radio Music Awards are almost entirely ignored by anyone relevant in the music industry, which is why the most famous person on the red carpet was Hilary Duff and even she showed up looking like a just startingMore »


Gentleman, Lube Up Your Shrimp Forks, Olivia Munn Is Single

By: Photo Boy / May 1, 2014

Posted by Photo Boy

According to the always reliable “a source,” Olivia Munn is no longer getting Robodonged, leaving me the perfect reason to box you up a gift of her breasts prominently displayed at a recent event along with the constant reminder of when Brett Ratner bubbagumped his dick in front ofMore »


BREAKING: Jennifer Lawrence Possibly Sh*tfaced In This Dress Where You Can Sort Of See Her Butt

By: Photo Boy / May 1, 2014

Posted by Photo Boy

The Internet’s girlfriend, and unwitting target of Jack Nicholson’s coke-fueled lust, Jennifer Lawrence, recently told Seth Myers she got so drunk she puked at an Oscars after-party.
Jen said she was so drunk, she puked on the stairs at Madonna’s after-party, and Miley walked by and said something… More »


Kanye West Probably Cheated On Kim Kardashian With Pia Mia

By: Photo Boy / April 29, 2014

Posted by Photo Boy

Because bovine husbandry is hard work and it seems his prized cow is almost fully fattened for slaughter, Kanye West has set his sights on an assonant yearling outside of Satan’s herd.
Ever since Kanye West, 36, took Pia Mia under his wing, Kim Kardashian, 33, has reportedly… More »


Laura Prepon Denies Dating Tom Cruise, Claims Scientology Isn’t Homophobic

By: The Superficial / April 23, 2014

Last week, Laura Prepon was linked (again) to Tom Cruise except in two new interviews to promote the second season of Orange Is The New Black, which she almost wasn’t apart of for reasons that now sound even shadier, she denies dating him while making sure to stick to the Scientology talking points that he’… More »


And Now Back To Celebrity Groins

By: The Superficial / April 23, 2014

My last post involved not equating with homosexuals with pedophiles which required way more critical thinking than some of you prefer or are even capable of, so fortunately for you here’s Rumer Willis flashing her panties. And guess what? They cover her vagina! ZOLY COW THE ZEXY PUD YOUR PENIS IN PLACE!

Photos:More »


GOOP Is Nothing But A Common Debtor

By: The Superficial / April 22, 2014

And now for the feel good story of the day. Gwyneth Paltrow’s infamous lifestyle website apparently isn’t the golden organic goose that lays renewable gilded Faberge eggs into a repurposed compost chateau we were led to believe. Peasants lies, we were told. Filthy, filthy peasant lies. Served with canned cheese. Radar reports:

It’… More »


Not Even Lindsay Lohan’s Friends Believe She Had A Miscarriage

By: The Superficial / April 22, 2014

After finally watching her reality show that apparently captured reality a little too well for her tastes, Lindsay Lohan came up with an excuse for the season finale to explain why she acted exactly like Lindsay Lohan: She totally had a miscarriage, you guys. And because drug addicts are credible sources, people actually believed her. More »


Good Morning, Leighton Meester, And Other News

By: The Superficial / April 22, 2014

- Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are coordinating outfits now. [Lainey Gossip]

- Padma Lakshmi’s banging Richard Gere. [Dlisted]

- ScarJo’s bouncing breasts GIFs, anyone? [theCHIVE]

- Hey Airlines, Stop Overbooking Flights On Purpose [The Frisky]

– Goddamn, Maryna Linchuk… [Popoholic]

Dawson reexamined hi… More »


Maitland Ward Got Her Own Post

By: The Superficial / April 17, 2014

If you’re avid clicker of The Crap We Missed, you’ve probably seen Maitland Ward at some red carpet event thanks to Photo Boy’s uncanny ability to somehow not make every pic Prince Charles. So for reasons that can be described as, “How am I not seeing her vagina?” here’s Maitland’s very own post from last… More »


Holy Shit, Tom Cruise Really Did Buy Hot Donna With His Space Money

By: The Superficial / April 17, 2014

When you’re the Planetary Prince-Regent of Adamanthium 7, you get only the finest quimmelwidgets to galactic shazzlebang your norfbong. It’s practically your birthright. Which is why the rumors are true that Tom Cruise has chosen fellow Scientologist Laura Prepon to be the new slave-bride he makes people believe he has heterosexual relations with under the… More »


Jenny McCarthy & Donnie Wahlberg Got Engaged

By: The Superficial / April 16, 2014

Jenny McCarthy is a reckless fartbag of dumb who’s at least partially responsible for the death of thousands of children, but she has big tits and a working vagina, so that’s good enough for me, says four out of five penises including Donnie Wahlberg’s who just proposed to her. People reports:

Jenny McCarthy… More »


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