Red Carpet

Good Morning, Leighton Meester, And Other News

By: The Superficial / April 22, 2014
- Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are coordinating outfits now. [Lainey Gossip] - Padma Lakshmi's banging Richard Gere. [Dlisted] - ScarJo's bouncing breasts GIFs, anyone? [theCHIVE] - Hey Airlines, Stop Overbooking Flights On Purpose [The Frisky] - Goddamn, Maryna Linchuk... [Popoholic] - Dawson reexamined hi… More »

Maitland Ward Got Her Own Post

By: The Superficial / April 17, 2014
If you're avid clicker of The Crap We Missed, you've probably seen Maitland Ward at some red carpet event thanks to Photo Boy's uncanny ability to somehow not make every pic Prince Charles. So for reasons that can be described as, "How am I not seeing her… More »

Holy Shit, Tom Cruise Really Did Buy Hot Donna With His Space Money

By: The Superficial / April 17, 2014
When you're the Planetary Prince-Regent of Adamanthium 7, you get only the finest quimmelwidgets to galactic shazzlebang your norfbong. It's practically your birthright. Which is why the rumors are true that Tom Cruise has chosen fellow Scientologist Laura Prepon to be the new slave-bride he makes people… More »

Jenny McCarthy & Donnie Wahlberg Got Engaged

By: The Superficial / April 16, 2014
Jenny McCarthy is a reckless fartbag of dumb who's at least partially responsible for the death of thousands of children, but she has big tits and a working vagina, so that's good enough for me, says four out of five penises including Donnie Wahlberg's who just proposed to her. More »

Jessica Simpson Looks F*cking Fantastic

By: The Superficial / April 15, 2014
So remember the other day when I geeked out over Jessica Simpson's legs? That wasn't me. That was somebody else. I don't even know what a blog is. What I do know is how to order Chili's take-out and might even have some right here. Just right here sitting on my desk with… More »

Jenny McCarthy Is Literally Trying To Say She’s Never Been Anti-Vaccines Now

By: The Superficial / April 14, 2014
Before this day gets consumed by Coachella and The MTV Movie Awards, I just want to make everyone aware that in a new op-ed for the Chicago Sun-Times, Jenny McCarthy tries to say she's never been anti-vaccines. The Jenny McCarthy. What she does try to say i… More »

The 2014 MTV Movie Awards

By: The Superficial / April 14, 2014
Here's the rest of The 2014 MTV Movie Awards which you'll quickly notice is mostly Rita Ora's cleavage, and for some odd reason, an almost equal amount of Zac Efron shirtless which was a typo. I have no idea how those got there, or why I tried to wash… More »

Emma Stone Was A Vampire This Whole Time And Other News

By: The Superficial / April 14, 2014
- Robert Downey Jr. is the goddamn man. [Lainey Gossip] - Beyonce crashed Solange's Coachella performance. [Dlisted] - Tan Line Season Has Finally Arrived [theCHIVE] - Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin make no fucking sense. [Fishwrapper] - Science is growing vaginas in labs now! IN YOUR FACE,… More »

Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, Jessica Alba & Victoria Justice Were The Hot Ones

By: The Superficial / April 14, 2014
Here's Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, Jessica Alba, and Victoria Justice at last night's MTV Movie Awards who I could've easily put into their own galleries, but your attention spans aren't the greatest, so I made Photo Boy moosh them all into one. Also, I like to… More »

Joe Francis Is Going To Be The Father Of Twin Girls. Joe Francis.

By: The Superficial / April 10, 2014
And now for the most hilarious collection of words you'll ever read thanks to Joe Francis announcing to Us Weekly that he specifically Kate Gosselin'd his girlfriend Abbey Wilson with twin girls because women's bodies are but a canvas for him to create if create means taking naked picture… More »

Taylor Swift’s Parents Are Katherine Heigl-ing Her

By: The Superficial / April 8, 2014
According to Page Six, Taylor Swift's parents are straight Katherine Heigl-ing her career which is really all I wanted to post about. Not so much the specifics of what's happening to Taylor's career, or why her parents are to blame, but that Katherine Heigl has been reduced to a… More »

Still Don’t Call ScarJo ScarJo

By: The Superficial / April 8, 2014
Back in 2011, Scarlett Johansson got pissed off about the nickname ScarJo, and now here's ScarJo getting mad about ScarJo again while also shitting on JLo because apparently ScarJo doesn't want to be equated with JLo who's not very ScarJo. Via HuffPo: "I associate that name with, like, po… More »

Lady Gaga’s Demanding Photo Agencies Photoshop Her Pictures Now

By: The Superficial / April 8, 2014
While Beyonce went the less subtle route of having her publicist demand websites remove unflattering photos of her, Lady Gaga's people were smart enough to realize photo agencies would let you have sex with your kids if it meant an exclusive and started demanding pics be "enhanced" before they're… More »

Chris Martin Cheated On Gwyneth Paltrow With A Lowly Commoner

By: The Superficial / April 7, 2014
While Gwyneth Paltrow had the quiet poise and sophistication to conduct her affairs with captains of industry, Chris Martin has reportedly debased himself by sleeping with a common peasant. Page Six reports: NBC staff have been buzzing about an affair Martin had after appearing as the musical guest o… More »

Hey, Look, Scarlett Johansson Made A Sequel To ‘Limitless’

By: The Superficial / April 3, 2014
Here's the trailer for Lucy starring Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow a young woman who gets slut-shamed by the Japanese into becoming Black Widow a walking Matrix with boobs, or something. (I shot my load with the Limitless headline. You got me.)… More »

Jennette McCurdy Got ‘Sam & Cat’ Cancelled

By: The Superficial / April 2, 2014
Before I begin, wasn't there a thing not too long ago where everyone was geeking out over how old 14-year-olds were looking? When the hell did that slam into reverse? Because it seems like every 21-year-old looks goddamn 12. It's like Chris Hansen is taunting me... testing me... Anyway, back to some Nickelodeo… More »

Don’t Look At The Jennifer Love Hewitt. The Jennifer Love Hewitt Has Gone Bad.

By: The Superficial / April 2, 2014
Jennifer Love Hewitt has been in hiding ever since the "birth" of her "child" in November. Except here she is debuting her new maternity line yesterday and, goddammit, what happened here? And before anyone accuses me of body shaming, I'll have you know I'm (also) talking about her face. This i… More »

Farrah Abraham Writes Erotica Now

By: The Superficial / April 2, 2014
Like any Christian author paying his or her dues, Farrah Abraham has to get a trilogy of erotic romance novels out of her system before she can set herself to the task of instructing you, the Godless heathens, on how to raise your children in a manner befitting the Kingdom of… More »

Katy Perry Really Knows How To Make Men Jealous

By: The Superficial / April 1, 2014
Following up her decision to bang Riff Raff, Katy Perry continued her "Fuck You (For More Than Likely Cheating On Me With Kelly Monaco), John Mayer" tour over the weekend by telling E! News she plans to become a green-haired collector of fine arts, and, no, thi… More »

Good Morning, Emma Watson, And Other News

By: The Superficial / April 1, 2014
- Marvel apparently pulled a dump truck full of money up to Chris Evans' house. [Lainey Gossip] - Of course Johnny Depp is wearing Amber Heard's engagement ring now. [Dlisted] - Have you seen these boobs? Asking for a friend. [theCHIVE] - Madonna is laughing! The Plague of Boil… More »

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