Red Carpet

Did Shia LaBeouf Know Too Much?

The Superficial / July 8, 2014

Now that Shia LaBeouf has been effectively discredited thanks to a month of terrorizing New York with piss and butt-grabbing, it’s time to ask the hard questions about how he’s definitely a victim of MK Ultra. It’s totally obvious. Which brings us to Vigilant Citizen, a blog dedicated to pointing out how every single music… More »


Lindsay Lohan Made It To 28

The Superficial / July 2, 2014

This right here. This is what I’m talking about. No one could survive that.
Because God looked down upon the cockroach and said, “Lo, shall you persevere against insurmountable odds and spread blowjays across the earth for all eternity as penance for your bespeckled form which is a blight upon my eyes,” Lindsay Lohan turned… More »


What Amy Adams Did Was Classy As Balls No Matter How You Feel About The War(s)

The Superficial / June 30, 2014

On Friday, Amy Adams tried to quietly pull a super classy move by giving a soldier her first class seat on a flight from Detroit to Los Angeles. She discreetly arranged it with the flight crew and almost got away with it except ESPN2’s Jemele Hill happened to also be in first class and immediately… More »


Angel Haze On Ireland Baldwin: ‘We F*ck’

The Superficial / June 27, 2014

Ever since breaking up with Slater Trout (actual name), Ireland Baldwin has been constantly seen on Instagram with rapper Angel Haze who just confirmed to The Independent that the two fuck which just saved me from writing a post about Shia LaBeouf terrorizing a homeless guy before his arrest. Then again, that story is also… More »


Jenny McCarthy’s Acting Like She Quit ‘The View’

The Superficial / June 27, 2014

Earlier in the week, I posted that Jenny McCarthy was getting fired from The View because, well, she’s Jenny McCarthy. And that’s exactly what happened yesterday because apparently everyone but Whoopi Goldberg was let go. Except if you follow Jenny on Twitter, she’d have you believe she quit out of solidarity with Sherri Shepherd who&#8217… More »


Jenny McCarthy’s Getting Fired From ‘The View’

The Superficial / June 25, 2014

Earlier this month, a New York federal judge ruled that parents can no longer send their unvaccinated kids to public school claiming a “religious exemption” – Which needs to start happening in more states, Pennsylvania. – and now comes word that Jenny McCarthy’s getting kicked off The View after a year, so it’s been a… More »


Hope Solo Seems Fun

The Superficial / June 24, 2014

For those of you who don’t know, soccer star Hope Solo was arrested over the weekend for domestic violence after she allegedly attacked her sister and 17-year-old nephew while drunk off her ass because she missed a flight. (I wonder how.) Her nephew even pulled a gun on her – albeit a BB gun &#8211… More »


There Was A #FreeTheNipple Fundraiser, Of Course

The Superficial / June 20, 2014

A few weeks ago, Scout Willis walked around New York City topless because Instagram doesn’t allow nipples or something. The important thing is that it’s a very serious issue that required very serious celebrity activism instead of, oh I dunno, say childhood obesity, education, hunger, poverty, unemployment, domestic abuse, fracking, gun control, climate change, or… More »


Hot Donna’s Xenu-Boobs And The Rest of The Critics’ Choice Awards

The Superficial / June 20, 2014

Here’s Laura Prepon at last night’s Critics’ Choice Awards where her breasts looked the biggest, so she gets her own gallery because we’re serious journalists. From there, you’ll find Tatiana Maslany below because Orphan Black is the shit along with Keri Russell who’s a goddamn machine on The Americans (Fuck Fargo.) followed by Emmy RossumMore »


Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin Are Probably Back Together Already

The Superficial / June 19, 2014

While your pedestrian separation was a pauper’s poorbox that ended with your husband realizing he’d rather live in a one bedroom efficiency that smells of various beefs and jerkies than spend another minute with you, Gwyneth Paltrow’s conscious uncoupling has poured rose-hued, spiritually rejuvenating tea into the Croatian hand cups of her marriage, according to… More »


Heidi Klum & Seal Might Get Back Together

The Superficial / June 19, 2014

“Oh, how I’ve missed your space boob…”
“Mind-bone me, Norrin Seal!”
According to In Touch Weekly, Heidi Klum and Seal might be getting back together after spending two years banging other people. So I’m just going to assume that was a simple matter of her agreeing to stay out of his camera room, and him… More »


Lindsay Lohan Is A Stage Actress Now, According To Lindsay Lohan

The Superficial / June 19, 2014

While it may seem like this job is nothing more than dick jokes and celebrity boob photos in my underwear, I do spend a considerable amount of each evening (Five minutes before three hours of Hearthstone.) readying for the morning’s penile satire and titty pageantry. And such was the case last night when I came… More »


Idina Menzel’s Boob Fell Out, First Person To Make A ‘Let It Go’ Joke Dies

The Superficial / June 18, 2014

You either know Idina Menzel from the 800 Frozen videos your mom’s posted on Facebook, or from John Travolta butchering her name at the Oscars because women should be trapped on a slave ship and not have their names spoken correctly at award shows. Space Jesus demands it. So with that in mind, here she… More »


The Situation Got Arrested For Punching His Brother In A Tanning Salon

The Superficial / June 18, 2014

Remember The Situation? It’s better if you don’t. The important thing is that you know he was arrested after getting into a fist fight with his brother in the tanning salon they own after employees called the cops when their paychecks bounced because New Jersey. TMZ reports:
Mike “Situation” Sorrentino was busted at Boca TanningMore »


The Maxim’s Hot 100 Women of 2014 Celebration

The Superficial / June 11, 2014

Feedly is literally being held for ransom via DDoS attack, so I’m having a hell of morning because that’s where I get most of my shit. Fortunately, The Maxim’s Hot 100 Women Celebration was last night, so here’s that plus a bonus gallery of Candice Swanpoel looking fucking fantastic yesterday while I scrounge for post… More »


Let’s Check On Mila Kunis’ Pregnancy

The Superficial / June 10, 2014

Here’s Mila Kunis at the premiere of Third Person, and if you’re wondering why she looks remarkably fantastic for a woman who’s several months pregnant with Ashton Kutcher’s child and by all rights should’ve jumped off a bridge, it’s because she has breasts now. You could put them on tumors and men would be like,… More »


Chrissy Teigen, Nina Agdal & Lily Aldridge Won The Spike TV Guys Choice Awards

The Superficial / June 9, 2014

The Spike TV Guys Choice Awards were last night, and I don’t have a single clue who won what – *winks at journalism degree* – but I do have photos of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover models Chrissy Teigen, Nina Agdal and Lily Alridge looking fucking amazing. The words you’re looking for right now, “My god,… More »


Hey, TLC, Shut Up And Let Rihanna Be Naked

The Superficial / June 6, 2014

During an interview on an Australian radio show, TLC decided to go off on Rihanna being naked all the time which is her goddamn right as an American who’s really Barbadian butt royalty if you want to argue over semantics. Via Jezebel:

“Every time I see you, you don’t have to be naked,”… More »


Jennifer Lopez Dumped Casper Smart Back In April

The Superficial / June 6, 2014

If you’ve been following the Jennifer Lopez/Casper Smart fiasco this week, you’re probably under the impression that he’s been cheating on her with transsexual model Sofie Vissa. Except, surprise, Jennifer Lopez’s publicist just confirmed to People that she dumped Casper back in April which is conveniently before all the tranny sexting started:
The pop star,… More »


Stop Giving Lindsay Lohan Money, You Idiots

The Superficial / June 3, 2014

Lindsay Lohan agreed to appear at an AIDS charity event and in return demanded first class flight and hotel accommodations along with the biggest dressing room which was inexplicably provided, so you’ll never guess what happened next. Page Six reports:
Lindsay Lohan was a no-show at Saturday’s Life Ball in Vienna, Austria.
“At the beginning… More »


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