Red Carpet

Kanye West Probably Cheated On Kim Kardashian With Pia Mia

By: Photo Boy / April 29, 2014
Posted by Photo Boy Because bovine husbandry is hard work and it seems his prized cow is almost fully fattened for slaughter, Kanye West has set his sights on an assonant yearling outside of Satan's herd. Ever since Kanye West, 36, took Pia Mia under his wing, Kim Kardashian, 33, has reportedly been jealous of… More »

Laura Prepon Denies Dating Tom Cruise, Claims Scientology Isn’t Homophobic

By: The Superficial / April 23, 2014
Last week, Laura Prepon was linked (again) to Tom Cruise except in two new interviews to promote the second season of Orange Is The New Black, which she almost wasn't apart of for reasons that now sound even shadier, she denies dating him while making sure to stick to the Scientology talking points that he'… More »

And Now Back To Celebrity Groins

By: The Superficial / April 23, 2014
My last post involved not equating with homosexuals with pedophiles which required way more critical thinking than some of you prefer or are even capable of, so fortunately for you here's Rumer Willis flashing her panties. And guess what? They cover her vagina! ZOLY COW THE ZEXY PUD YOUR PENIS IN PLACE! Photos: Getty, PacificMore »

GOOP Is Nothing But A Common Debtor

By: The Superficial / April 22, 2014
And now for the feel good story of the day. Gwyneth Paltrow's infamous lifestyle website apparently isn't the golden organic goose that lays renewable gilded Faberge eggs into a repurposed compost chateau we were led to believe. Peasants lies, we were told. Filthy, filthy peasant lies. Served with canned cheese. Radar reports: It’s not that… More »

Not Even Lindsay Lohan’s Friends Believe She Had A Miscarriage

By: The Superficial / April 22, 2014
After finally watching her reality show that apparently captured reality a little too well for her tastes, Lindsay Lohan came up with an excuse for the season finale to explain why she acted exactly like Lindsay Lohan: She totally had a miscarriage, you guys. And because drug addicts are credible sources, people actually believed her. More »

Good Morning, Leighton Meester, And Other News

By: The Superficial / April 22, 2014
- Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are coordinating outfits now. [Lainey Gossip] - Padma Lakshmi's banging Richard Gere. [Dlisted] - ScarJo's bouncing breasts GIFs, anyone? [theCHIVE] - Hey Airlines, Stop Overbooking Flights On Purpose [The Frisky] - Goddamn, Maryna Linchuk... [Popoholic] - Dawson reexamined his life after getting an offer for Dancing With The Stars. More »

Maitland Ward Got Her Own Post

By: The Superficial / April 17, 2014
If you're avid clicker of The Crap We Missed, you've probably seen Maitland Ward at some red carpet event thanks to Photo Boy's uncanny ability to somehow not make every pic Prince Charles. So for reasons that can be described as, "How am I not seeing her vagina?" here's Maitland's very own post from last… More »

Holy Shit, Tom Cruise Really Did Buy Hot Donna With His Space Money

By: The Superficial / April 17, 2014
When you're the Planetary Prince-Regent of Adamanthium 7, you get only the finest quimmelwidgets to galactic shazzlebang your norfbong. It's practically your birthright. Which is why the rumors are true that Tom Cruise has chosen fellow Scientologist Laura Prepon to be the new slave-bride he makes people believe he has heterosexual relations with under the… More »

Jenny McCarthy & Donnie Wahlberg Got Engaged

By: The Superficial / April 16, 2014
Jenny McCarthy is a reckless fartbag of dumb who's at least partially responsible for the death of thousands of children, but she has big tits and a working vagina, so that's good enough for me, says four out of five penises including Donnie Wahlberg's who just proposed to her. People reports: Jenny McCarthy announced o… More »

Jessica Simpson Looks F*cking Fantastic

By: The Superficial / April 15, 2014
So remember the other day when I geeked out over Jessica Simpson's legs? That wasn't me. That was somebody else. I don't even know what a blog is. What I do know is how to order Chili's take-out and might even have some right here. Just right here sitting on my desk with all the… More »

Jenny McCarthy Is Literally Trying To Say She’s Never Been Anti-Vaccines Now

By: The Superficial / April 14, 2014
Before this day gets consumed by Coachella and The MTV Movie Awards, I just want to make everyone aware that in a new op-ed for the Chicago Sun-Times, Jenny McCarthy tries to say she's never been anti-vaccines. The Jenny McCarthy. What she does try to say is she's just concerned with the amount of vaccine… More »

The 2014 MTV Movie Awards

By: The Superficial / April 14, 2014
Here's the rest of The 2014 MTV Movie Awards which you'll quickly notice is mostly Rita Ora's cleavage, and for some odd reason, an almost equal amount of Zac Efron shirtless which was a typo. I have no idea how those got there, or why I tried to wash my clothes on them. I should… More »

Emma Stone Was A Vampire This Whole Time And Other News

By: The Superficial / April 14, 2014
- Robert Downey Jr. is the goddamn man. [Lainey Gossip] - Beyonce crashed Solange's Coachella performance. [Dlisted] - Tan Line Season Has Finally Arrived [theCHIVE] - Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin make no fucking sense. [Fishwrapper] - Science is growing vaginas in labs now! IN YOUR FACE, VIRGINITY. [The Frisky] - Emmy Rossum is leggy. More »

Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, Jessica Alba & Victoria Justice Were The Hot Ones

By: The Superficial / April 14, 2014
Here's Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, Jessica Alba, and Victoria Justice at last night's MTV Movie Awards who I could've easily put into their own galleries, but your attention spans aren't the greatest, so I made Photo Boy moosh them all into one. Also, I like to pretend Rihanna and Nicki keep side-eyeing each other, so soo… More »

Joe Francis Is Going To Be The Father Of Twin Girls. Joe Francis.

By: The Superficial / April 10, 2014
And now for the most hilarious collection of words you'll ever read thanks to Joe Francis announcing to Us Weekly that he specifically Kate Gosselin'd his girlfriend Abbey Wilson with twin girls because women's bodies are but a canvas for him to create if create means taking naked pictures of drunk sorority girls: Francis isn't… More »

Taylor Swift’s Parents Are Katherine Heigl-ing Her

By: The Superficial / April 8, 2014
According to Page Six, Taylor Swift's parents are straight Katherine Heigl-ing her career which is really all I wanted to post about. Not so much the specifics of what's happening to Taylor's career, or why her parents are to blame, but that Katherine Heigl has been reduced to a go-to term for how hard a… More »

Still Don’t Call ScarJo ScarJo

By: The Superficial / April 8, 2014
Back in 2011, Scarlett Johansson got pissed off about the nickname ScarJo, and now here's ScarJo getting mad about ScarJo again while also shitting on JLo because apparently ScarJo doesn't want to be equated with JLo who's not very ScarJo. Via HuffPo: "I associate that name with, like, pop stars. 'It sounds tacky. It's lazy… More »

Lady Gaga’s Demanding Photo Agencies Photoshop Her Pictures Now

By: The Superficial / April 8, 2014
While Beyonce went the less subtle route of having her publicist demand websites remove unflattering photos of her, Lady Gaga's people were smart enough to realize photo agencies would let you have sex with your kids if it meant an exclusive and started demanding pics be "enhanced" before they're approved for publication. A process that… More »

Chris Martin Cheated On Gwyneth Paltrow With A Lowly Commoner

By: The Superficial / April 7, 2014
While Gwyneth Paltrow had the quiet poise and sophistication to conduct her affairs with captains of industry, Chris Martin has reportedly debased himself by sleeping with a common peasant. Page Six reports: NBC staff have been buzzing about an affair Martin had after appearing as the musical guest on “Saturday Night Live“ in 2011 with… More »

Hey, Look, Scarlett Johansson Made A Sequel To ‘Limitless’

By: The Superficial / April 3, 2014
Here's the trailer for Lucy starring Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow a young woman who gets slut-shamed by the Japanese into becoming Black Widow a walking Matrix with boobs, or something. (I shot my load with the Limitless headline. You got me.)… More »

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