Most Important People - Page 7

Oh God, Aaron Carter Has A Message For Terrorists

Aaron Carter is ‘like’, gonna bring guns and stuff to his show and ‘like’, shoot you if you are a terrorist and stuff. Real talk, he beat Shaq. More »


The Cyrus Emerged From His Dumpster Last Night

The trailer park stage dad currently known as “Cyrus” found ample RV parking at last night’s CMT Awards and may or may not have eaten all the chicken fingers in the building. More »


Kim and Khloe Are Turning to Science to Assess Their Babymakers

In a break from possibly the biggest polical ralphing since Watergate, Khloe Kardashian went to a doctor to see if her meat silo could handle a baby bomb. She admitted to “fake trying” to have a baby with Lamar Odom because she’s not actually a person. More »


Heads Up, Ariel Winter Is Perpetuating Her Media Problems Again

Why anyone is reading too far into a 19-year-old’s conception of what it means to be a celebrity is beyond me, but I guess people are just sticking around to see if her boobs can talk or something. More »


Uh Oh, Alex Rodriguez’s Side Chick Wants Money

I guess his standard “thanks for having a threesome with me, here’s some body lotion and a couple autographed baseballs” basket didn’t cut it. More »


I Guess We’re Looking at Selena Gomez’ Nipples Now

Hello Selena Gomez’ nipples, how are you today? Seen any good movies lately? What are your thoughts on James Comey’s senate testimony tomorrow? More »


Does Iggy Azalea’s Butt Actually Float and Other News

Iggy Azalea went paddle boarding on a normal sized paddle board that defied physics, I’m baffled at how much coverage George Clooney’s twins got today, Jerry Seinfeld keeps it real, and more… More »


Hold My Beer, Josh Duggar Thinks His Privacy Was Breached

Josh Duggar is trying to piggyback on his sisters’ breach-of-privacy lawsuit… the same four sisters he allegidly diddled while they were minors. Shame on… us? More »


Al Pacino to Play Joe Paterno in Jerry Sandusky Movie

No, it’s not titled “Sandusky’s Tight Ends” keep your 5-year-old fantasy football jokes to yourself. More »


Gwyneth Paltrow Doesn’t Actually Put Crystals In Her Yoni

In case you weren’t aware, a yoni is a holistically non-toxic, free-range word for your energy positive vagina. For all of my rappers out there, it also rhymes great with homie – you’re welcome. More »


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