Most Important People

Jennifer Lawrence: Everyone’s Favorite Barf Queen

Once again, J-Law is living up to her reputation of being an 11-year-old boy trapped in a grown woman’s body after she threw up in a Broadway theatre lobby. More »


Aaron Carter’s Blaming His DUI On 9/11 Because Meth Is Great

If they make Aaron Carter wear a suit to court rather than dressing like a truck stop twink then the terrorists win. He’s an American icon like a state bird or a hamburger… or a state bird eating a hamburger out of a dumpster. More »


Sure Caitlyn Jenner Wants to Be A Senator Too, Why Not

Somebody needs to put a stop to this whole “celebrities running for office” thing before Senator Kid Rock passes his Baw-wit’da-bill that gives strippers fast pass dance lanes at the DMV. More »


No, Michael Phelps Is Not Going To Beat A Great White Shark In A Race

Michael Phelps can max out at about 5 mph… a great white shark can swim 25mph while sending a text message to its other shark friends about the food porn they’re about to make. More »


Leo Dicaprio (Lord Hog Body) Grossed Out Some Young Models

Leo was overheard boasting to some models about how he “doesn’t have to work out” to maintain his 42-year-old hog body. *The goal of this post is to petition that we all start adopting the word “hog body” to replace dad bod.* More »


Drunk Shia LaBeouf Was Arrested Again Last Weekend

Apparently Shia lost his shit after some bystanders didn’t have a spare “bogie” to bum. Lesson learned: If Shia asks you for a cigarette after midnight, he’s about to turn into a booze gremlin. More »


Elle Evans Doing Bikini Things With Matt Bellamy on A Giant Yacht

Props to Elle Evans for being able to take off with her rockstar boyfriend and go jetskiing in St. Tropez while I cool off in this backyard baby pool of content. *Cracks a Fresca*

“Cut the water off, Frank- she’s overflowing!” More »


Blac Chyna Dyed Her Hair Unicorn to Really Stick It to Rob, Guys

She’s pulling a Gandalf and changing color after she fell down that Instagram hole with a fire-breathing Rob “Blob” Kardashian. More »


Who Gave Lena Dunham A Dog In The First Place?

Spoiler alert: It was the dog/shelter’s fault she couldn’t keep it because eeevverryybodyy hates poor Lena! More »


Brad Pitt Probably Banged Sienna Miller In A Winnebago

You know what they say, “when the ‘bago is a-rockin, don’t let any paparazzi nearby or else they’ll find out how much you love feet.” More »


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