1. Frank Burns

    Up next from Lindsay:

    “I couldn’t work because I was on that plane in Asia that hit that boat in Asia.’

    “Putin – who I call Vlad-Vlad – phoned and asked me to help him with peace negotiations on the Ukraine. I drove all over California looking for it but couldn’t find it though.”

    “After I lost my plane ticket I climbed into the wheel well of jet plane to try and get to the set on time, but I passed out from drinking vodka. Oops, I mean from no oxygen.”

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