1. Hugh G. Rection

    In baseball there are 26-67 year old guys who used to be can’t-miss blue chip prospects who are now getting their third or fourth chance to show what they have to offer. Some team invites them to spring training hoping lightning will strike. They usually end up selling life insurance. Not sure why that popped into my head.

  2. “I’m excited to be here today to announce that I’ve accepted the role of ‘Astro’ in the live action reboot of ‘The Jetsons’”

  3. “Hello everyone, I am here to announce that I am going to be producing and starring in a new major motion picture.”
    “That’s right, you’ve heard of it already?”
    “Huh? What are you talking about? I was merely stating that I am unable to conceive a scenario where you are still making movies.”

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