1. “The government has quarantined New York after an airborne virus scientists describe as SupermegaHerpeAIDS has spread across the city. To protect the rest of the country, President Obama has stated he has no choice but to call in a nuclear strike.”

  2. Juch

    After blowing a kiss to cocaine, LIndsay was later found giving a handjob to black tar heroin.

  3. At what point do we stop pretending and using cute metaphors like “blowing a kiss”, and just admit that she’s a walking Petri dish, responsible for aerosolizing a weapons grade frappe of STDs, hepatitis, and dead HIV cells that couldn’t compete in the hostile environment of Lindsay’s moist sex holes.

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