1. “That guy’s waving $100 at me just for a handjob. Should I take it? I mean, I wouldn’t mind getting a handjob about now…”

  2. ThisWillHurt

    “OK: ridiculous haircut, lots of gold jewelry, sort of hottish girlfriend with four names, fuzzy coat, leopard print purse that I pretend is a backpack, women’s earrings, and plastic frame sunglasses that were way too expensive that I wear at night. What am I forgetting? Gosh darnit! I left my shiny electric car thingy with illegal tinted windows at home! Someone find me a new one before I start crying and pounding my fists on the floor!”

  3. Does he even have to shave?

  4. “Worst birthday ever! Some douche gave me a copy of a Justin Bieber CD!”

  5. Austin (Danger) Powers

    X-Ray Vision Glasses make a come back!

  6. It’s better that he didnt get in so the DJ didnt have to play “Dude Looks Like a Lady.”

  7. sitsdeep

    Is that a weave??

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