“Hiiiiii, Jonah! You look so..so good”
“Shut up bitch, Ive put on 12 pounds since the last red carpet.(looks at Leo) We’re still partying after this, right dawg?”
Maybe we can find some solace about our lives that even Leo’s life is not perfect.
Every group has the awkward, chubby friend
Ummm, Margot’? Marty told me I could put my arm around Leo at the movie premieres… I wore my baggiest pants so no one would see my erection. Oops, I fear I’ve said too much.
leo… you said… we’d be joined on the red carpet.
i… i thought you meant…
And this is how you cockblock a guy you don’t want to bang.
“Jonah, you got my invitation, you came!” – Margot
“Wait, what the fuck, I thought it was just going to be you and me tonight Margot?” – Leo
“LEO LEO LEO LEO LEO, I love you LEO!!!!” – Jonah
“What is she doing here, Leo? I want her gone, Leo. I’m your fan, Leo, not she. Leo… Why are you keeping silence?”
You ever find a turd in your ice cream? Well Jonah just did. He’s still gonna eat it, but dude, there’s a turd in the ice cream.
In Leo’s head:
I hope he ain’t looking for a 3 way. Fuck that shit!
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Jonah Hill, Margot Robbie, and Leonardo DiCaprio at the premiere of 'The Wolf of Wall Street' in London. (January 9, 2014) -Photo: Getty, Splash News