“This is how low my tits will hang 5 months in.”
“And I was like ‘WHOA, you actually believed I was on the pill, you’re so stupid!’ I can’t wait to have his baby.”
Technically will the kid still be a bastard ? Possibly not born out of wedlock, but definitely conceived. FYI, I find that most parents are not that receptive when using this term to refer to their child. Go figure.
And then I grabbed him by the balls and said, “I’m willing to ruin my body and blow out my vagina in childbirth– do you want to play chicken with me or put this ring I’ve been carrying in my bag since high school on my finger?!”
But do I just go Jessica Simpson fat, or do I go all out Kim Kardashian fat.
…and they will be SPECTACULAR…
Cannot wait to hear the names she has in mind for the kid.
“All I had to do was tell him how big my boobs would get when I’m pregnant and suddenly *he’s* the one reaching for the engagement ring drawer on the bedside table. I call it the Simpson defense.”
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