While making an appearance on the popular German television show Wetten, Dass..? Saturday night, Jennifer Lopez’s almost entire right boob popped out which, admittedly, isn’t as exciting as I made it out to be in the headline, but “Half of Jennifer Lopez’s Tortilla-Size Areola” doesn’t exactly conjure up images of a nipple punching out Hitler, now doesn’t it? Anyway, you’ll notice I made the uncensored versions available because, again, these really aren’t so much a nip slip as an exercise in figuring out how Marc Anthony responds to seeing areolae bigger than his home planet in the Salsa Nebula.
MARC: Ay dios mio! The Chipotle Quadrant completed their space station!
JLO: It’s my nipple, Marc.
MARC: I shall form a rebellion in the rings of Guacamolia and crush their cojones like the putas they are! *spits* Ready my flying saucer, woman.
JLO: *sigh* You turned it into a fajita bar.
MARC: Ay, yes, I recall it’s deliciousness… Trap Jaw!
TRAP JAW: Yes, Lord Skeletor.
MARC: We take your car.
TRAP JAW: Right away, Lord Skeletor.