Hot Bodies

Kim Kardashian Is Already Prepared For Her Daughter To Pose Naked

By: The Superficial / November 21, 2014
Constantly doing porn has made Kim Kardashian's lots of money along with unprecedented fame for her and her family who literally did nothing but be related to a woman Ray J peed on. But enough about why America needs to burn, here's Kim response to the prospect of her one-year-old daughter… More »

Gwyneth Paltrow Took A Run At Martha Stewart, She Missed

By: The Superficial / November 21, 2014
Back in October, Martha Stewart dropped a nuclear pie bomb on Gwyneth Paltrow with a recipe titled "Conscious Coupling" complete with a description that took the piss right out of Gwyneth's divorce. It was a laser-guided strike expected of someone who owns a goddamn drone. But now,… More »

Good Morning, Miranda Kerr, And Other News

By: The Superficial / November 21, 2014
- Chris Pratt will be Cowboy Ninja Viking. Whatever that means. [Lainey Gossip] - Refinery 29's shit-ass puff-piece on Scientology has some problems. [The Frisky] - Nick Jonas really needs you to know he's not a virgin anymore. [Fishwrapper] - Jamie Oliver: Spanking: bad, secretly rubbing hot peppers o… More »

Kim Kardashian Tries To Adopt Orphan In Thailand, Orphan’s Like ‘Nah’

By: The Superficial / November 20, 2014
"I'm here now, child, your Fairy Buttmothe- why are you running?!" On a recent episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, supreme ass-clencher Kim Kardashian pretended to possess a soul capable of empathy and compassion by expressing interest in adopting a young girl from an orphanage in Thailand because every episode… More »

Good Morning, Alexandra Eriksson, And Other News

By: The Superficial / November 20, 2014
- Benedict Cumberbatch wants to be Ryan Gosling. [Lainey Gossip] - This is what Kylie Jenner looks like without 800 pounds of war paint. [Fishwrapper] - Donald Sutherland thinks Jennifer Lawrence is Jesus, so guess who saw the nudes. [Dlisted] - Rip-Roaring Redheads Coming In Hot [theCHIVE]… More »

Don’t Friend Taryn Manning On Facebook

By: The Superficial / November 19, 2014
Crossroads star (That was entirely relevant.) Taryn Manning has been arrested for threatening a former friend/maybe ex-girlfriend in violation of a previous restraining order, according to TMZ: Taryn had been ordered to stay away from Jeanine Heller, a former pal after the two ended up in court and a judge issued… More »

Let’s Take A Break From Rapists, Child Molesters, And Everything Else

By: The Superficial / November 19, 2014
It's been a heady few days of rape, more rape, and reporters basically asking "alleged" rape victims why they didn't just not get raped. So before I start writing about child rape (which I may completely flake out on before my soul falls out), let's just kick… More »

Thor Is People’s ‘Sexiest Man Alive’

By: Photo Boy / November 19, 2014
Posted by Photo Boy Thor: The Dark World was a pile of shit, but definitely included a gratuitous shirtless scene of Chris Hemsworth because we really are a race of slightly smarter apes who still kill each other over shiny objects. Which is why every year the magazine who's very… More »

Good Morning, Kat Torres, And Other News

By: The Superficial / November 19, 2014
- Gwyneth Paltrow is an Oscar-winning contextual commerce-person. And don't you forget it! [Lainey Gossip] - The Duggars are still awful. [Fishwrapper] - The Parents Television Council just now figured out there's fucking on Sons of Anarchy? [Dlisted] - Enjoy The Tan Lines Before They Fade Away [… More »

Kim Kardashian Was Clenching Her Butt, You Guys, It Wasn’t Photoshop

By: The Superficial / November 18, 2014
"Kim Kardashian naked ass butt pussy" is still a huge search term right now (Never change, Internet.), so here she is telling an Australian talk show that her nude photo shoot for Paper is not the product of Photoshop, but of muscular clenching which almost always turns butts into… More »

Someone Invited Jessica Simpson To ‘The Hunger Games’ Premiere

By: The Superficial / November 18, 2014
The Hunger Games is about a dystopian future where the rich eat all of the food leaving the poor to starve unless they shoot each other in the dicks with bows and arrows. Those words also describe every Tuesday night at the Chili's near Jessica Simpson's house. Are you seeing the… More »

Bella Thorne In A Bikini

By: The Superficial / November 18, 2014
A while ago, I had to deal with an annoying situation involving Bella Thorne that really should've persuaded me from doing things like giving her free publicity by posting paparazzi photos of her on the site. But then she wore a bikini in Miami yesterday, and I don't need to tell… More »

Tila Tequila Is A Mother, This Is Our World Now

By: Photo Boy / November 18, 2014
Posted by Photo Boy Since we're now almost exclusively in the business of reporting awful shit happening to children, here's the announcement that Tila Tequila replicated, which is the only word I'll used to describe her somehow making another life form. Via Us Weekly: "I just want my baby to… More »

Good Morning, Alexandra Eriksson, And Other News

By: The Superficial / November 18, 2014
- There are Benedict Cumberbatch engagement truthers now? Goddammit, Internet... [Lainey Gossip] - June Shannon is in Dumb and Dumber To. Yup. [Fishwrapper] - There's a Christian version of Fifty Shades of Grey. Of course. [Dlisted] - Girls With Future Lower Back Problems [theCHIVE] - Victoria's Silvstedt'… More »

The 2014 GOOP Gift Guide Is Quintessential GOOP

By: The Superficial / November 17, 2014
We're beginning our initial descent into the maw of the holiday beast where we'll be slowly digested over the course of the next six weeks. So to speed up that process, here's the 2014 GOOP Gift Guide which promises to try and stay under $100, yet immediately starts with a $285… More »

ANGELINA JOLIE’S BEWBS!!!!!!!!!!!!

By: The Superficial / November 17, 2014
As advertised in the classiest headline of your life, here are Angelina Jolie's breasts at the Hollywood Film Awards where, granted, they're not a naked, Photoshopped FUPA - I'm sorry, squelchy pudendum. - I know for a fact they still have enough Internet juice in them to break something. More »

Emily Ratajkowski’s Breasts Deserve A Post

By: The Superficial / November 17, 2014
I almost just tossed these pics of Emily Ratajkowski's breasts at the Hollywood Film Awards into the drunk Johnny Depp post and said something like, "Haha, wouldn't it have been better posted if I talked about these, you guys?" But then I realized her breasts are people, too, and… More »

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley In A Bikini And Other News

By: The Superficial / November 17, 2014
- Fifty Shades of Grey has a new trailer. Where's the pube-pulling?! [Lainey Gossip] - It's the vagina cake from Snooki's baby shower. You read that right. [Fishwrapper] - Evan Rachel Wood is done being a lesbian already. [Dlisted] - If You Like Tattoos Get In Here [… More »

Science Beat Kim Kardashian’s Ass

By: The Superficial / November 14, 2014
On Wednesday, Kim Kardashian's naked ass and vulva seemed to have consumed everything in its path. I hate to admit this, but I literally had no clue the Philae lander landed on a comet, that's how far my head was up her butt. Did you see how oily it… More »

Kate Upton’s Breasts Shill Free-To-Play Games Now

By: The Superficial / November 14, 2014
Last week's South Park episode amazingly shit all over freemium games as it should. Except here are Kate Upton's bouncing breasts telling me to play one which I'm probably going to do because the sole purpose of a penis is to bankrupt and ultimately kill whoever it's attached to. More »

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