Hot Bodies

So I Guess We’re Doing This And Other News

By: The Superficial / October 1, 2014
- Everybody's in the Magic Mike sequel now except the one person who counts. [Lainey Gossip] - Leonardo DiCaprio has selflessly left his girlfriend to bang all the women George Clooney can't now. [Dlisted] - Believe In Your Selfie provided you have breasts for it. I say that as a friend. More »

LeAnn Rimes Might Be Cropping Herself Into Family Photos Now

By: The Superficial / September 30, 2014
As part of her ongoing war with Brandi Glanville, LeAnn Rimes may have taken her crazy to some next level shit by allegedly Photoshopping herself into a photo of Eddie Cibrian and his sons. Via Fishwrapper: 1 -- The child immediately on LeAnn's left looks cut in … More »

Adam Levine & Behati Prinsloo Are Banging While Covered In Blood

By: The Superficial / September 30, 2014
Here's the video for "Animals" which features Adam Levine stalking his wife Behati Prinsloo like a hipster serial killer before banging her naked body covered in blood. It's the sexual fantasy of any healthy marriage provided your husband wants to fuck himself even harder in a meat … More »

The Old Amanda Bynes Is Back

By: The Superficial / September 30, 2014
I gave Amanda Bynes' parents a lot of shit about their conservatorship because they seemed to be more concerned about her money and a little too quick to blame everything on weed instead of admitting she has a severe mental illness. However, to their credit, they did manage to … More »

Good Morning, Anais Zanotti, And Other News

By: The Superficial / September 30, 2014
- Apparently Brad Pitt loves Shia LaBeouf. [Lainey Gossip] - Those Amy's Baking Company crazies are trying to stab people now. [Dlisted] - Sideboob: Ain't nothing wrong with that. [theCHIVE] - Annie Lennox just took a shot at Beyonce. [Fishwrapper] - David Hasselhoff just redeemed himself for … More »

Kelly Brook’s Single Again

By: The Superficial / September 29, 2014
Kelly Brook and David McIntosh reportedly broke up and surprisingly the reason wasn't, "His dick was a boner all the time," which would make sense, but according to the Daily Mail, it's because he cheated on her giant, awesome breasts which doesn't make sense. Maybe … More »

Emily Ratajkowski & Reese Witherspoon In Red

By: The Superficial / September 29, 2014
You're probably thinking it's a dick move to put Reese Witherspoon in a gallery with Emily Ratajkowski, and that I'm only doing it to make another joke about her being pregnant. And you're right, but before I make the voices stop, I'd like to take a second to compliment … More »

‘Please, Just Let Me Look At Fashion With My Tits And My Baby’

By: The Superficial / September 29, 2014
"Guys, guys, please. I'm just a working mom trying to sit front row at a Paris fashion show with my tits and my baby. And Kanye West. I don't know how you always show up when I'm out with my tits and my baby, and Kanye West, … More »

Jennifer Lopez & Leah Remini Hit By Drunk Driver

By: The Superficial / September 29, 2014
According to Jennifer Lopez's Instagram, she has a butt. And while that seems as good a place as any to wrap this post up because its work here is done, she also apparently got hit by a drunk driver on Saturday while sitting at a red light with … More »

Jesus, Maitland Ward, Let Me Get Some Coffee First And Other News

By: The Superficial / September 29, 2014
- Total Recall probably didn't help Jessica Biel land a part in True Detective. [Lainey Gossip] - Chelsea Clinton had a baby. [Dlisted] - There Are Sexy Chivers Among Us [theCHIVE] - Okay, the NFL isn't all bad. You got me. [The Mighty] - But just in … More »

Anna Kendrick & Cara Delevingne Are Your New Fappening

By: The Superficial / September 29, 2014
So it looks like we're going to do this every weekend now because Anna Kendrick and Cara Delevingne are your latest celebrities to have nude photos leaked online by "hackers," according to Gawker, who also reports a bunch of other people were in this batch except I … More »

And Now Gerard Butler Trying To Bang A Woman On A Paddleboard

By: The Superficial / September 26, 2014
"Ya know, lass, the ocean's like a great big chemical toilet when ya think about it." "You're still rich, right?" "Aye." "Then I guess we're doing this..." THE SUPERFICIAL | About • Facebook • Twitter Photos: AKM-GSI, Splash News … More »

Kim Kardashian’s Practically Topless Breasts Need An Armored Car Now

By: The Superficial / September 26, 2014
After being tackled by Vitalli Sediuk in Paris yesterday - Or the first time Kris Jenner naturally lubricated since 1986 as it shall be written in "The Apocalypse Scrolls." - Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are traveling by armored car with armed guards now, according … More »

It’s Jessica Simpson’s Breasts And Other News

By: The Superficial / September 26, 2014
- Kate Mara doing a Rust Cohle impression? You got me. [Lainey Gossip] - Frankie Grande's face when he loses Big Brother is priceless. [Dlisted] - The best responses to Ken Jennings' asshole tweet about the handicapped. [The Mighty] - These Dresses Couldn't Be Any Tighter If They Tried … More »

Chelsea Heath Is Topless Now And Other News

By: The Superficial / September 25, 2014
- Keira Knightley might be your other new True Detective person. [Lainey Gossip] - Christopher Walken as Captain Hook is goddamn nightmare fuel. [Dlisted] - Miranda Kerr's ass is just right. [theCHIVE] - Warning: Marijuana affects the mind. [Fishwrapper] - "Alright, class, time for vagina cookies!" [ … More »

Jessica Simpson’s Baby Is High As Shit

By: The Superficial / September 24, 2014
Everybody shut up about everything: Eric Johnson throwing Jessica Simpson's baby 80 feet in the air is your new shiny object. Is it the cutest thing ever, or the launchpad for a thousand mommy blog posts on child tossing? The world's your oyster here. As for me, I'm using it to … More »

Stay The Hell Away From Sarah Hyland’s Ex

By: The Superficial / September 24, 2014
Modern Family star Sarah Hyland has filed a restraining order against her allegedly abusive ex-boyfriend Matt Prokop after enlisting the help of Julie Bowen to get out of the relationship. So if you only read this top part, never, ever date this guy. TMZ reports: According to the docs, … More »

Dakota Johnson’s In A Bikini

By: The Superficial / September 24, 2014
Everything about the Emma Watson situation makes me want to rub magnets all over the Internet before pissing in its open ports (Wow, that was oddly specific.), so here's Dakota Johnson in a bikini which is great for you because now you can tell people you saw her butt … More »

The Emma Watson Nude Photo Threat Was A Bullshit Marketing Stunt

By: The Superficial / September 24, 2014
Over the past few days, the Internet lit up with a story that members of 4chan were allegedly threatening to release nude photos of Emma Watson in retaliation for her speech on feminism at the U.N. It even got my attention because if this shit is true (which it … More »

Good Morning, Ashley Lee, And Other News

By: The Superficial / September 24, 2014
- Chris Pratt has to put up with Ariana Grande this weekend. [Lainey Gossip] - Paula Deen is changed, y'all. [Dlisted] - Girls Tugging On Their Clothes is why we Internet. [theCHIVE] - James Franco is still writing shitty poetry about not banging Lindsay Lohan. [Fishwrapper] - … More »

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