Hot Bodies

Iggy Azalea Has To Be Nice To Azealia Banks Or Her Sex Tape Will Leak

By: The Superficial / December 22, 2014
Iggy Azalea and Azealia Banks (Who are surprisingly not the same person. God, I'm old.) have been having some sort of online shit-to-cuffs over Iggy's appropriation of hip-hop culture without paying respect to the black community which is apparently a legitimate criticism because Q-Tip wrote a giant Twitter essay telling Iggy about herself. On to… More »


It’s Laurel From ‘Arrow’ In A Bikini

By: The Superficial / December 22, 2014
In case you didn't get the hint from the Jessica Simpson post, there's jackshit happening, so here's Arrow star Katie Cassidy in Miami where I hope to God a seagull flies off with her stupid chin implant that should've been grounds to write her off the second season because SARAH WAS THE BEST BLACK CANARY… More »


Jessica Simpson Has Legs? HOLY SHIT

By: The Superficial / December 22, 2014
Just to give you an idea of how rough it's going to be over the next few days, Jessica Simpson's legs are a top story right now. A human woman possessing two lower limbs. That's the news right now. Not the fact that Jessica Simpson's letting everyone know she's Batman and will rain justice dow… More »


Kourtney Kardashian’s Baby Is Our King Apparently

By: The Superficial / December 22, 2014
Because she's the hot one, I like to pretend Kourtney Kardashian is better than the rest of her family except that requires ignoring the fact she keeps letting Scott Disick put babies in her. Which gets harder and harder to do after each kid because they're up to three now, and this one Kourtney named… More »


Good Morning, Cassie Cardelle, And Other News

By: The Superficial / December 22, 2014
- Gwyneth Paltrow's into Tantra now. [Lainey Gossip] - Scott Disick seems really, really awesome to be the person you can't stop having kids with. [Fishwrapper] - Elton John and Lance Bass had competing weddings. I'll let an expert handle this. [Dlisted] - The Strong And Flexible Caitlin Rice [theCHIVE] - Vaccines are making kid… More »


Charli XCX’s Breasts Are Back

By: The Superficial / December 19, 2014
I still don't know who or what a Charli XCX is, or why her name is a Bratz doll, but I do know you people will click the hell out of her breasts, so here they are at the Jingle Ball in Chicago last night because I show you the occasional boob, and then you… More »


Kate Upton Wins ‘Sexiest Woman’ At PEOPLE Awards

By: The Superficial / December 19, 2014
Kate Upton won the PEOPLE Magazine Award for Sexiest Woman last night and couldn't look more boring doing it, but you'll notice that didn't stop me from posting about it, or PEOPLE from finding literally anybody else, because we both bow at the altar of SEO. It is the one true God. *slices open palm,More »


Good Morning, Vicky Pattison, And Other News

By: The Superficial / December 19, 2014
- Burt Macklin: Velociraptor Cop: Justice just got a new name. [Lainey Gossip] - Legolas wants to do Lord of The Rings porn. The world needs three hours of dongs going in! [Fishwrapper] - Jennifer Aniston grouchy? Inconceivable. [Dlisted] - If You Like Tattoos, Get Over Here [theCHIVE] - Here's why Republicans oppose ending the… More »


Alessandra Ambrosio Topless And Stripping Down To Her Panties, Anyone?

By: The Superficial / December 18, 2014
I've got posts about a child molester and an alleged rapist coming up, so for something less depressing here's Alessandra Ambrosio stripping for LOVE Magazine's Advent 2014 which means Lindsay Lohan's shitty video was sandwiched between a world-class supermodel and Emily Ratajkowski making it even more shitty because Kirk Cameron was right, the Christ-child i… More »


Nicki Minaj’s Nipple Was On TV!

By: The Superficial / December 18, 2014
A major American film studio completely caved to North Korea-sponsored hackers essentially putting unprecedented power into the hands of anyone who can access rich people's emails, but that was 10 minutes ago. Now it's all about Nicki Minaj's nipple slip provided you count 1/4th of an areola as a nipple which the Internet does because… More »


Good Morning, Colleen Shannon, And Other News

By: The Superficial / December 18, 2014
- Selena Gomez came down with the drama in front of Beyonce. Girlfriennnddd... [Lainey Gossip] - Nicki Minaj is going to blow up dickheads. [Fishwrapper] - The time Alex Trebek almost quit Jeopardy because he was asked to have feelings. [Dlisted] - Wake Up With Jennifer [theCHIVE] - Pat Robertson thinks gay people will go… More »


Bertney & The Amazing Computer Magicked Bikini

By: The Superficial / December 17, 2014
Bertney And The Amazing Computer Magicked Berkini Belly A Positive Reinforcement Reader It was a very special day for Bertney. She was at the courthouse seeing the nice old judge who always had the best news to tell Papa. "Well, Mr. Spears," the judge said from his very tall wooden seat. "After watching the surveillanceMore »


A Paris Hilton Panty Flash Post? Why Not?

By: The Superficial / December 17, 2014
In case you can't tell we're circling the holiday toilet for news, I already wrote about Lindsay Lohan today, and now here's Paris Hilton flashing her panties because it's 2006 again. (To top it off, this is me punting my way to a Bertney post to complete the trifecta.) You'll also notice Paris has a… More »


Emily Ratajkowski Made One of Those Sexy Dancing Videos, Too

By: The Superficial / December 17, 2014
Here's Emily Ratajkowski's video for LOVE Magazine's Advent 2014 which involves her dancing braless in a loose tanktop while tugging on her panties, so there's literally no reason for you to have read any of this. In fact, the only person who should be reading this is an automated alien archivist from the future a… More »


Good Morning, Michelle Lewin, And Other News

By: The Superficial / December 17, 2014
- Aaron Sorkin should really stop talking. [Lainey Gossip] - James Franco only wants to fuck Lana Del Rey's music. Her vagina bores him. [Fishwrapper] - Scary Spice's husband might be an abusive asshole. [Dlisted] - Nothing Beats A Woman's POV [theCHIVE] - Elisabeth Hasselbeck is still a giant fucking moron. [The Frisky] - AmyMore »


Jennifer Aniston Doesn’t Get Why Everyone’s Obsessed With Her Body

By: Photo Boy / December 16, 2014
Posted by Photo Boy Fish and I have historically¹ held differing opinions on Jennifer Aniston. I find her attractive, while he prefers the company of his illustrated books and his things. *watches him rearrange figurines on his desk for Tuesday positioning* What we both agree on, however, is that it's kind of ridiculous to discu… More »


The Ass Circle Is Ass Complete, Now Khloe Is The Ass Master

By: The Superficial / December 16, 2014
With Kim Kardashian relinquishing her ass crown to chase an impossible dream that's never going to happen even if you dropped her from the Empire State Building, it's now Khloe's turn to bask in the warm ass sunlight. So here she is riding a horse while the space age Rubbermers™ that make up her a… More »


What The Hell Is A Charli XCX?

By: The Superficial / December 16, 2014
I have no idea who or what a Charli XCX is, but everybody apparently lost their shit yesterday over her outfits for the Billboard Women In Music Luncheon and Jingle Ball So here are those for you to potentially misplace your own shit over and then maybe have a little treasure hunt trying to find… More »


Good Morning, Kayla Swift, And Other News

By: The Superficial / December 16, 2014
- And welcome to the Prince George Christmas photos that just made your girlfriend ovulate. [Lainey Gossip] - Thor just talked shit on Miley Cyrus. [Fishwrapper] - Lindsay Lohan says she'll never move back to LA. The streets are safe again! [Dlisted] - Girls With Future Lower Back Problems [theCHIVE] - Channing Tatum writes email… More »


Kim Kardashian Wants A Flat Ass Now

By: The Superficial / December 15, 2014
When she's not cropping her daughter out of Instagram photos (little attention-stealing bitch), Kim Kardashian is apparently sitting around staring at Khloe's ass and wondering why would anyone would ever want a butt that big because even Kim Kardashian is forgetting why the hell Kim Kardashian is famous. Via Fishwrapper: "Khloe's ass is so big,… More »


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