Hot Bodies

Chris Brown Is Sorry He Called His Girlfriend A Cheating Whore

By: The Superficial / December 8, 2014
Chris Brown and Karrueche Tran apparently broke up over the weekend, so naturally Chris Brown reacted in a healthy, constructive manner (compared to what he did to Rihanna's face) by calling her a cheating whore on Instagram and telling everybody they had threesomes together. Via ONTD: We've… More »

Good Morning, Kayla Swift, And Other News

By: The Superficial / December 8, 2014
- Coldplay might finally be over. [Lainey Gossip] - Hey, Eddie Cibrian needs that money to buy laxatives. [Fishwrapper] - Kendra Wilkinson made $500,000 in six months from stripping. [Dlisted] - Girls With Future Lower Back Problems [theCHIVE] - The Hunger Games porn parody is here. [… More »

Kat Torres In A Bikini Is The Crap I Missed

By: The Superficial / December 5, 2014
Alright, folks, provided Photo Boy's severed head isn't strapped to a tortoise with a bomb in it, The Crap We Missed will return Monday where you can fill it full of your brain shits for The Most Important People on The Internet because doing work at your desk i… More »

Usher Charged His Phone With A Woman’s Vagina

By: The Superficial / December 5, 2014
Here's Usher at Art Basel the other night where he charged his phone with a woman's vagina because apparently that's another thing they can do that I had no idea about. (Is it true women can pee out of them, too? You know what? Don't tell me. I want it to… More »

Dear Hilary Duff: AARON CARTER’S GONNA KEEL YOU, GIRL, RUN!!

By: The Superficial / December 5, 2014
Aaron Carter already made shit creepy enough by expressing his undying love for Hilary Duff on Twitter which he did back off on after she told Buzzfeed that it's weirding her out. Except here he is with a new Instagram pic of himself watching a… More »

Krysten Ritter Is Your New Marvel Person

By: The Superficial / December 5, 2014
After confirming Benedict Cumberbatch as Doctor Strange, Marvel announced that Krysten Ritter landed the title role of Jessica Jones for its upcoming Netflix series. I should probably mention Alexandra Daddario was also up the part, but mostly so I can link to her nude scene… More »

Whitney Port’s Still Wearing Bikinis And Other News

By: The Superficial / December 5, 2014
- Gwyneth Paltrow saved Meryl Streep's Thanksgiving. Take that, Martha Stewart! [Lainey Gossip] - Kendall Jenner's posting selfies of her panties now. [Fishwrapper] - LeAnn Rimes pulled some Madonna shit at the Rockefeller tree lighting. [Dlisted] - A Satantic Temple holiday display in Florida? Let's see how quickly that… More »

Ela Rose In A Bikini Is The Crap I Missed

By: The Superficial / December 4, 2014
Here's Ela Rose who you'll notice is not a treatise on racism or justified outrage at police brutality, but instead an attractive woman with giant breasts. And while we're talking about breasts, let's set the record straight on 138 Water: I'm in no way paid to post their pics. More »

Lindsay Lohan’s Crotch Will Sell You Clothes Now

By: The Superficial / December 4, 2014
If there's one constant that stops Lindsay Lohan from swallowing a bunch of pills and not waking up in the morning, it's that Earth drugs can't kill her now. But if there's another constant, it's that some idiot somewhere is waiting to hand her money for some stupid project that will… More »

Miley Cyrus Wore A Dang Ol’ Boobie T-Shirt

By: The Superficial / December 4, 2014
It's becoming more and more evident that the police can murder minorities with impunity, but are any of those people wearing boobie T-shirts? No. No, they are not. So here's Miley Cyrus wearing a T-shirt with naked breasts on it which is probably the most important piece of informatio… More »

Jenna Chapple Is Subtle And Other News

By: The Superficial / December 4, 2014
- Amber Heard is putting Johnny Depp's scarves on the curb soon. [Lainey Gossip] - Annie Lennox basically calls Madonna an attention whore. [Fishwrapper] - Godammit, there's another Duggar coming. Somebody get a scientist pregnant. Quick, quickly now! [Dlisted] - Redheads, We Need You Now More Than Ever [… More »

Michelle Lewin’s Bikini Butt Is The Crap I Missed

By: The Superficial / December 3, 2014
Somehow I survived The 2014 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show without Photo Boy, so now's the part where you leave me the fuck alone and stare deeply into Michelle Lewin's butt until I make with a new 138 Water chick in the morning even though she won't handle a candle to… More »

Kourtney Kardashian’s Doing Naked Stuff Now

By: The Superficial / December 3, 2014
Kourtney Kardashian might be 18 months pregnant, but Kim posed naked last month, and now it's her turn because Kris Jenner's bitches get dem asses out there and work that Internet corner and she don't want to hear nothin' about it. So here's Kourtney posing nude for… More »

That ‘Suicide Squad’ Movie With Jared Leto As The Joker Is Happening

By: The Superficial / December 3, 2014
Yesterday, Warner Bros. confirmed in a press release that Jared Leto will play The Joker in the film version of Suicide Squad along with announcing the rest of the cast which includes: Will Smith as Deadshot ("BUT HE'S WHITE!" - The Internet soon) Margot Robbie… More »

The 2014 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

By: The Superficial / December 3, 2014
Now that we've seen Taylor Swift serenading a woman's butt and Chris Hansen's greatest sting yet, here's the rest of The 2014 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show featuring models I didn't have time to label, so it's on you to remember what their names are. They have feelings, you bastard! More »

And Now Taylor Swift Singing To Karlie Kloss’ Butt

By: The Superficial / December 3, 2014
Last year, Jessica Hart said some shit about Taylor Swift "not fitting in" at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show which is why this year Jessica was nowhere to be seen and NY Daily News reports it's Taylor's doing. Which seems like way too much power for Taylor… More »

Toddlers & Tiaras Meets Victoria’s Secret

By: The Superficial / December 3, 2014
Here's Ariana Grande performing at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show because what's sexier than watching a singing 12-year-old in linger- *waits to get tackled by Photo Boy, realizes he's on vacation, shrugs* - a singing 12-year-old in linger- *gets shot in the knee by Chris Hansen* THE SUPERFICIAL | About… More »

Stefanie Knight Wins The 138 Water Bikini Photos And Other News

By: The Superficial / December 3, 2014
- Cameron Diaz does Cosmo. [Lainey Gossip] - Are your eyes worthy enough to gaze upon the Gosling-Mendes Child? [Fishwrapper] - Rosario Dawson adopted a 12-year-old girl. How about a 34-year-old man-boy? Kids need siblings. [Dlisted] - Remember when Kate Upton's breasts were in zero gravity? Here are some… More »

Abigail Ratchford In Lingerie Is The Crap I Missed

By: The Superficial / December 2, 2014
Alright, folks, I've got a Victoria's Secret Fashion Show to manhandle by myself tonight - Wow, that came out wrong. But accurate. - so here are the Abigail Ratchford posing topless for Kandy pics making the rounds while I calculate how much alcohol I need to survive… More »

Cara Delevingne Seduced Kendall Into Bailing On Victoria’s Secret

By: The Superficial / December 2, 2014
It's been Kendall Jenner's dream to walk the Victoria's Secret runway, but on the eve of its London takeover, she took off across Europe with a drunk, panty flashing Cara Delevingne which is exactly what I would've done in her situation minus the part where they hung out with… More »

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