Hot Bodies

Good Morning, Nikki Lund, And Other News

By: The Superficial / January 12, 2015
- Jennifer Lopez might be banging Casper Smart again. [Lainey Gossip] - We don't need to see your placentas, Kardashians. Chill. [Fishwrapper] - Harry Styles has a new girlfriend. I'm so sorry, 14-year-olds. [Dlisted] - Public Service Announcement: MRA activists are fucking retarded. [The Frisky] - Tara Reid's naked Instagram photo got her a $1… More »


Lisa Opie In A Bikini Will Cap The Week

By: The Superficial / January 9, 2015
Well, we survived our first The Crap We Missed-less week and whether or not this will be our new normal has yet to be decided. The important thing is Photo Boy really came into his own this week and did some yeoman's work which is why it'll be unfortunate if he doesn't survive running naked… More »


Justin Bieber’s Bulge Is A Lie, Too

By: Photo Boy / January 9, 2015
UPDATE: Apparently these Photoshopped pics are fake Photoshops, and Justin Bieber has enough money to make his personal trainer tell TMZ he has a giant dick, so we're all doomed. - SW Posted by Photo Boy Since I've already posted about one scantily clad little girl today and Fish knows it's a dream of mine… More »


Gigi Hadid Is Your New Kate Upton

By: The Superficial / January 9, 2015
Here's 19-year-old Sports Illustrated Swimsuit rookie Gigi Hadid posing for Guess which I thought might be a nice change of pace from (alleged) rapists joking about their rapes and Shia LaBeouf dancing half-naked with a 12-year-old in a cage. Plus the next post is about Justin Bieber's dick, so it might not be a bad… More »


Good Morning, Dakota James & Halle Von’s Butts, And Other News

By: The Superficial / January 9, 2015
- Victoria Beckham is basically Ariana Grande. [Lainey Gossip] - Vivica A. Fox is defending Bill Cosby now. [Fishwrapper] - Justin Theroux is a gift to Jennifer Aniston from her dead ex-boyfriend? Why not? [Dlisted] - No, Your Dick Is Not Too Big To Wear A Condom [The Frisky] - Steve Kroft drank champagne out… More »


The People’s Choice Awards: A Post About Iggy Azalea’s Butt

By: Photo Boy / January 8, 2015
Posted by Photo Boy Iggy Azalea performed last night at The People's Choice Awards. It's an event where the common folks' taste in popular culture for the previous year gets aggregated and celebrated by the prominent celebrities within. Through that lens, Fish and I carefully chose our coverage by looking at pictures and going, "ASS!"… More »


Justin Bieber’s Pubes Are A Lie

By: The Superficial / January 8, 2015
If you're like me, you spent hours (that turned into days, weeks, months...) intently studying Justin Bieber's pubes from his Calvin Klein photo shoot and wondering how the hell they even got there. Hormones? Voodoo? Merkin plugs? Turns out it was Photoshop, according to TMZ. Good ol' fashioned Photoshop. Which means someone walked into work… More »


It’s Kylie Jenner’s Implants (Probably)

By: The Superficial / January 8, 2015
A few days ago, Kylie Jenner told Cosmo that she's "not against plastic surgery," but she doesn't "desire it right now," so right off the bat you know she's had work done because of The Law of Kardashian: The opposite of whatever they say is true. And now here she is on Instagram showing off… More »


Giada De Laurentiis Denies Banging Every Guy She’s Ever Been On TV With

By: Photo Boy / January 8, 2015
Posted by Photo Boy Star magazine would publish a cover photo of you in a coffin if they thought you'd buy it, so it's not a stretch to think when they heard Giada De Laurentiis' was getting divorced they went "Okay, let's start with 'she fucked everyone,' then work our way backwards from there." Via… More »


Good Morning, Laura Cremaschi, And Other News

By: The Superficial / January 8, 2015
- THE CUMBERBABY IS OFFICIAL. Ready the Tumblrs! [Lainey Gossip] - Jessica Chastain basically tells Russell Crowe to eat a dick. [Fishwrapper] - John Travolta is Robert Shapiro in that miniseries thing about O.J. Simpson. [Dlisted] - Feminists made priests molest children? That's your excuse? [The Frisky] - Jared Leto wants you to buy hi… More »


Ela Rose In A Bikini Wants To Hear About Your Day

By: The Superficial / January 7, 2015
Welcome to Day 3 of our The Crap We Missed-less existence, and I'm not about to bore you to death with the details of our photo contract negotiations when there are still boobs to look at on the Internet and this shit might take a while. That said, I'm pretty sure I broke Photo BoyMore »


Rose McGowan Is Topless

By: The Superficial / January 7, 2015
Here's Rose McGowan posing topless on Facebook yesterday except unlike Chelsea Handler and Miley Cyrus, she's not doing it to #FreeTheNipple, but for these other stupid hashtags that I don't understand: #‎NOWNESS #‎art #‎beauty WE ARE ALL STILL LIVES #‎marlenemarino She also used a boombox emoticon which is either some sort of Illuminati thing or… More »


Aw, Shit, It’s #BBare In His #CKs (#DatBulgeTho)

By: The Superficial / January 7, 2015
It's been a New Jack City minute since we checked in on my boy #BBare as in ladies be gettin' bare for my boy Justin #BBare, Blackest Son of Krypton. But mostly Canada. Anyway, here's da smoofest mothafucka dis side of Smooftown gettin' down to his drawers for Calvin & Hobbes because ain't nuttin' gay… More »


Good Morning, Caitlin O’Connor, And Other News

By: The Superficial / January 7, 2015
- Scarlett Johansson is doing the live-action Ghost In The Shell now. [Lainey Gossip] - Dear Tara Reid, every phone in America has an HD camera now. You're not fooling anybody. [Fishwrapper] - Here's Jamie Dornan talking about his dick. [Dlisted] - Princeton Mom thinks child molestation is just "bad manners." [The Frisky] - BigMore »


Gather ‘Round Michelle Lewin’s Butt, Children

By: The Superficial / January 6, 2015
First off, huge thanks to all you thoughtful bastards for the ideas to keep The Crap We Missed alive yesterday. We're definitely weighing our options, but in the meantime, you may have noticed Photo Boy man-handled all the writing today, and that's because I just found out yesterday we're getting a new site as early… More »


Charlie Sheen Unloads On Kim Kardashian’s Butt

By: Photo Boy / January 6, 2015
Posted by Photo Boy I honestly don't even want to know what type of SEO that headline satisfies. Charlie Sheen is an insane person and Kim Kardashian is a humanoid ass creature from the planet Whoranus, so they're inexorably bound to seek and destroy one another. The battleground: Twitter. The weapons: Rants including the term… More »


Katy Perry’s Banging John Mayer Again

By: Photo Boy / January 6, 2015
Posted by Photo Boy Knowing exactly how to kick a year in its balls while it's down, Katy Perry's letting the Prince of Douche touch her huge boobs again, because everything is bad. IT'S ALL RUINED! *slaps Fish's tray to floor, runs out of cafeteria* Via Daily Mail: Apparently aware of keeping things under wraps,… More »


Cameron Diaz And Benji Madden Got Married

By: Photo Boy / January 6, 2015
Posted by Photo Boy When you're 42 and the last time anyone though you were hot was also the last time anyone thought Jim Carrey was funny, marrying Benji Madden might not seem like you just made the exact same momentous life decision as Nicole Richie, but that's exactly what happened here. Via Us Weekly:… More »


Blake Lively Gave Birth

By: Photo Boy / January 6, 2015
"You're gonna be skinny again now, right baby?" "You're gonna make a movie that doesn't tank now, right baby?" Posted by Photo Boy I'll admit I've never been as preoccupied with Blake Lively as Fish so terrifyingly is, but she shat out Ryan Reynolds' kid over the holidays and I had this old gallery of… More »


Good Morning, Hannah Nicole, And Other News

By: The Superficial / January 6, 2015
- Kristen Stewart is probably a lesbian now. No really. [Lainey Gossip] - Farrah Abraham's dating married dudes now. [Fishwrapper] - Bradley Cooper's nipples are high art now. [Dlisted] - Wait, #GamerGate is still happening? Jesus Christ. [The Frisky] - Raffaella Modugno in a bikini [WWTDD] - People who listen to Kanye West don't know… More »


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