Hot Bodies

Britney Spears Looks Normal, Aware of Her Surroundings. IT’S A TRAP!

By: The Superficial / October 16, 2014
Normally this is the part where I'd write an eerily accurate children's story about Britney Spears' dad exploiting her through the use of ice cream and tranquilizers, except Jesus Christ, she not only looks great but self-aware. If you asked her what day it is, she'd probably know it's … More »

And Now Back To Kesha Said, Dr. Luke Said

By: The Superficial / October 16, 2014
I'm going to start myself off in a hole here, and see how far I can climb myself out or dig myself even deeper as I do. Kesha's stint in rehab for an "eating disorder" has always seemed sketchy as shit. Especially when her mom checked in with her … More »

Selena Gomez Walks Around Her House Naked

By: The Superficial / October 16, 2014
After every awful post about child predators, or in this case the authors who defend them, I like to try and bring eveybody back to a happy place. So here's Selena Gomez telling Ellen she likes to walk naked around her new, Justin … More »

Abigail Ratchford In A Bikini And Other News

By: The Superficial / October 16, 2014
- Ezra Miller is your movie Flash because apparently TV Flash wasn't enough. [Lainey Gossip] - Evan Rachel Wood has a new girlfriend. [Dlisted] - Thursday. Redheads. Victory. [theCHIVE] - Ready your Cumberboner, Sherlock will talk about experimenting with boys now. [Fishwrapper] - Just a reminder: Kanye … More »

And Now Back To BEWBS (Specifically Courtney Stodden And Mozart Ones)

By: The Superficial / October 15, 2014
For the sake of this post, let's pretend I have two types of readers because broad generalizations are fun and easy. There are the thinkers and the boob lookers, and like any good parent, I love both of you equally. (To your face. Privately? I've plotted one of your deaths. Again, like a good parent.) … More »

BREAKING: Amber Rose Has A Butt

By: The Superficial / October 15, 2014
I've been at this job for seven years now, so I really shouldn't be surprised when the most ridiculous shit possible ends up turning into a huge Internet story, and yet here's Amber Rose's butt which apparently no one in entertainment media has seen until now. It's not like that thing … More »

Frenchy Is Subtle And Other News

By: The Superficial / October 15, 2014
- Blake Lively's hipster baby shower will sell you $52 onesies now. [Lainey Gossip] - Taylor Swift's new single is a Victoria's Secret queef mixed with Tears For Fears or something. [Dlisted] - Stretching Deep For Hump Day [theCHIVE] - Reese Witherspoon is just complex now, y'all. [ … More »

Bertney Gets Serxy

By: The Superficial / October 14, 2014
Bertney Learns To Be Serxy A "Your Changing Body And You" Reader Bertney loved going to the gym. She loved it because Papa stayed home, and she could eat whole bunches of funny tasting candy bars from the snack machine. The gym also had milkshakes, but Bertney didn't drink them anymore because they tasted like … More »

Kesha Sues Dr. Luke For Sexual Assault

By: The Superficial / October 14, 2014
Kesha looks unfortunate in swimsuits - Bear with me! - but that doesn't mean she, or any woman, should ever be the victim of the shit she's suing her producer Dr. Luke for allegedly doing. TMZ reports: According to a new lawsuit -- obtained by TMZ -- Kesha claims … More »

Miley Cyrus Is Topless

By: The Superficial / October 14, 2014
Considering I could draw Miley Cyrus' labia with my eyes shut because I've seen it so much - *closes eyes, doodles penguin with a top hat* NAILED IT. - it really shouldn't be that big of a thrill that she's wearing tiny shorts and topless on her hotel balcony in Sydney. More »

Good Morning, Michelle Lewin, And Other News

By: The Superficial / October 14, 2014
- There's a woman with George Clooney's last name out there. THE END IS NIGH. [Lainey Gossip] - Iggy Azalea is attacking the paparazzi with shopping carts now. [Dlisted] - Girls With Future Lower Back Problems [theCHIVE] - Goddammit, Mariah Carey, put that shit away. [Fishwrapper] - … More »

Is Kylie Jenner Dating Tyga? A Post With Kim Kardashian’s Nipple In It

By: The Superficial / October 13, 2014
There's a persistent rumor going around that 17-year-old Kylie Jenner is dating Tyga, a 25-year-old rapper, which her family denies so you know it's definitely happening. And while that seems questionable as hell, you can see Kim Kardashian's nipples through her dress, so let's focus on that and let … More »

How Do You Replace Kelly Brook With This?

By: The Superficial / October 13, 2014
Two weeks ago, we learned that Kelly Brook is single thanks to David McIntosh cheating on her. And now here he is with his new girlfriend Metisha Schaefer, who isn't even the woman he cheated with, because the man's 2% body fat and apparently has an erection … More »

There’s The Snappening Now

By: The Superficial / October 13, 2014
After The Fappening realized it was leaking pictures of Nick Hogan and shot itself in the face (It's a working theory.), the time was right for The Snappening, a new hack of SnapChat resulting in over 90,000 photos leaked online yesterday. Except one small problem, … More »

Kat Dennings’ Breasts Are Dating Josh Groban

By: The Superficial / October 13, 2014
Josh Groban's voice has the gift to unlock powerful emotions that you never thought you were capable of experiencing. Kat Dennings' breasts do exactly the same thing only on a much deeper spiritual level that's capable of bathing all of humanity in a warm golden light while ushering in a new … More »

Taylor Swift’s Cat Is Hitler And Everyone Hates It

By: The Superficial / October 13, 2014
During a recent appearance on The Graham Norton Show, John Cleese asked Taylor Swift right to her face if her cat was in an accident because it looked "damaged." And I'll be the first to say, who could ever possibly give a shit? Except this is the … More »

Heath Ledger’s Joker In A Bikini And Other News

By: The Superficial / October 13, 2014
- Some Benedict Cumberbatch suit porn? [Lainey Gossip] - Cameron Diaz might be engaged to Benji Madden. [Dlisted] - Bad Girls Bend And Snap [theCHIVE] - Farrah Abraham's in a non-pornographic film? That can't be right. [Fishwrapper] - The Dumbest Things Steve Harvey Ever Said About Love … More »

Gwyneth Paltrow Wants Obama To Get Up In That

By: The Superficial / October 10, 2014
Chris Martin has a super-cool new girlfriend, so it behooves Gwyneth Paltrow to one-up him because conscious uncoupling is some hardcore shit. Which brings us to the President of the United States who, granted, is married, but if there's one thing Gwyneth has taught us it's that you can … More »

Good Morning, Ana Braga, And Other News

By: The Superficial / October 10, 2014
- Robert Downey Jr. misses Sarah Jessica Parker, is clearly addicted to horse-racing. [Lainey Gossip] - Ryan Gosling's child bears a name. [Dlisted] - It's A Talent Just Breathing In These Dresses [theCHIVE] - Gwyneth Paltrow wants to be besties with Jennifer Lawrence now. [Fishwrapper] - Red … More »

Shonda Rhimes Doesn’t Put Up With ‘Heigls’

By: The Superficial / October 9, 2014
In case you're not sure how deeply and openly Hollywood hates Katherine Heigl, or simply enjoy a reminder to lift your spirits like I do, here's Scandal creator Shonda Rhimes telling The Hollywood Reporter the lessons she's learned from working on Grey's Anatomy: By all accounts, Rhimes … More »

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